Oafhood - The Bear and Badger

Brooks

Are you an oaf?

What aspects of your performance in any context could be reasonably labelled "oafish?"

Me, I can make an unusually high amount of noise just walking for a person of my height and build.

GooberTheHat

I can tend toward brute strength solutions for time saving reasons.

Mike

Hahaha

Wookienopants

I have one tool for every job.
My hammer.

Wookienopants

Hands up who thought I was gonna say "my penis"

Moot_Geeza

I make a lot of noise when I eat. Does that count? Especially if I'm enjoying myself, apparently. I also chew tea.

Spock

I'd class myself more of a lummox than an oaf, or perhaps an idiot man-child with the carriage and gait of a common serf. I rarely burp without using the offending gaseous expulsion to form the word "bollocks".

Lord_Griff

Pffft, I'm a sexy giant ninja.

[Deleted User]

GooberTheHat wrote:

I can tend toward brute strength solutions for time saving reasons.

This.
Why use scissor on that blister pack when I can chew and rip it apart in twice the amount of time?

For a big guy I do however move quite quietly, also fairly flexible.
I was oafish during puberty like most people, growing noticeably over night led to a few trips down the stairs upside down.

TheDJR

I reckon I'm in touch with my feminine side.

equinox_code

I'm not generally good with instructions/tasks unless they primarily involve thinking.

dynamiteReady

equinox_code wrote:

I'm not generally good with instructions/tasks unless they primarily involve thinking.

Funnily enough, I'm good with menial shit, but whatever...

My concession to badgery, is that write well enough (though I correct myself a fair amount), but I mumble like that dude in Dick Tracy, and when heated, swear like a total cnut.

I literally make Irishmen blush with my curse rate. It's like a cogent form of Tourettes (or as near as).

Yossarian

I'm mildly dyspraxic so have an impressive history of breaking things that are both reasonably fragile and quite important to people. I have luckily now found myself a girlfriend who is even clumsier than I am which will make things easier when I inevitably break one of her many antiques.

Bollockoff

I don't drink often but when I do it's all livers on deck. Luckily I'm just a laughing drunk.

Yossarian

Or a passing out whilst sitting on a bin drunk.

[Deleted User]

dynamiteReady wrote:

I'm not generally good with instructions/tasks unless they primarily involve thinking.

Funnily enough, I'm good with menial shit, but whatever... My concession to badgery, is that write well enough (though I correct myself a fair amount), but I mumble like that dude in Dick Tracy, and when heated, swear like a total cnut. I literally make Irishmen blush with my curse rate. It's like a cogent form of Tourettes (or as near as).

I'm Irish and find that outmoded and patronising simile genuinely offensive. We don't curse any more than any other race on these rainy islands.

Skerret

Gonzo wrote:

Hands up who thought that *I* would say "my penis"? That would have been really impressive evidence of precognitive powers.

*hand up*

I manage to be graceful, dexterous and deft all at once. I'm the guy that catches your dropped wine glass without spilling a drop. I did fall into a fountain once though.

Bollockoff

Yossarian wrote:

Or a passing out whilst sitting on a bin drunk.

I really need to try and best that legacy.

Stopharage

Whilst not clumsy I lack patience when doing tasks (DIY especially) so inevitably end up creating destruction and then despising myself for lack of planning. Had to knock some wooden beams down in my lounge recently. Couldn't be arsed to move furniture or see much point in putting dust sheets down. One beam fell through the glass of my wife's scanner and I succeeded in creating a small desert of dust throughout the lounge. Took me hours to clean up. My wife has yet to discover there's no glass on her scanner any more.

Skerret

Perhaps a new scanner is in order.

JonB

Or a new wife.

fullspectrum

Yossarian wrote:

Or a passing out whilst sitting on a bin drunk.

Is it time to post that yet?

Skondo

Despite my svelte appearance I can be somewhat clumsy. I guarantee, whether I have consumed lots of alcohol or absolutely none, that at some point I will knock my drink over.

AJ

Unless it's been particularly fetid recently, I tend not to give a shit about when I vent gasses. Reflexively, I usually excuse myself, though, often in an unnecessarily surprised tone.

Skerret

JonB wrote:

Or a new wife.

Well whatever is most cost effective.

Brooks

I just tripped over myself in a crowded place. It was too severe to fool anyone into thinking it was a wee jig.

pantyfire

Are any of you in control of your own bodies?
I'm not clumsy at all.
The wife is a surprisingly heavy stepper for someone that is about 8 stone.
And she is guaranteed to knock something over late at night, in fact the later the hour the louder the thing is she knocks over. WITHOUT FAIL. This drives me mad.

pantyfire

Brooks wrote:

I just tripped over myself in a crowded place. It was too severe to fool anyone into thinking it was a wee jig.

Ha Ha look at the clumsy gaijin.
You just made some asian dudes day.

Skerret

Brooks wrote:

I just tripped over myself in a crowded place. It was too severe to fool anyone into thinking it was a wee jig.

Recommended tactic is to go with it, drop into a push-up and bang out a quick 10 before springing to your feet.

superflyninja

I would certainly be described as oafish. Very clumsy and a noisy mover(despite my ninja moniker) and a messy DIYer.
Except when I'm fighting(sparring). I display much more finesse,control of movement and general spatial awareness.
My DIY skills are much improved these days though. I've found reading instructions and paying attention to the smaller details pays dividends in assembly/hanging etc time.
Who would have thought...

Skerret

pantyfire wrote:

some asian dude

You mean Japanese?

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