Rhyming Craplets - The Bear and Badger

trippy

Late last night I was lying in bed
when the following rhyme popped into my head
from a song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
it's as bad for you ears as leprosy is for lepers

I'm on the porch 'cos I lost my house key Pick up my book, I read Bukowski

Lyrical dynamite, I'm sure you'll agree
but the song contains even sweeter poetry

Blush my lady when I tell her
The I do indeed love to smell her
Sopping wet your pink umbrella
Do the dog with Isabella

Any other contenders for worst rhyme
of alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll time?

poprock

I’m serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer

Snap – The Power

mistercrayon

Not a rhyme but my girlfriend and I have great fun with this line from coldplay.

Chris Martin off Coldplay wrote:

It's a long and dark December and from the roof tops I remember there was snow

What kind of Snow Chris?!

Chris Martin off Coldplay wrote:

White snow

Cheers mate.

Moot_Geeza

Also not a rhyming couplet, but I heard a line this afternoon that made me wince. From Hockey Skates by Kathleen Edwards.

Do you wish your nose was longer,
So you'd have an excuse not to see past it?

JonB

Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Pane = pain, get it!
Eminem BTW

Stopharage

mistercrayon wrote:

Not a rhyme but my girlfriend and I have great fun with this line from coldplay.

Chris Martin off Coldplay wrote:

It's a long and dark December and from the roof tops I remember there was snow

What kind of Snow Chris?!

Chris Martin off Coldplay wrote:

White snow

Cheers mate.

In the very same song:-

Was a long and dark December
When the banks became cathedrals
And a fox became God

Perfect sense.

mistercrayon

Have you seen the revenant? Kind of reminds me of that!

The Daddy

Genuinely a favourite of mine but it's ridiculous:

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her

Nothing wrong with that mate, reasonable wishes.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala

What?

Stopharage

Chevrolet Impala, much loved gangsta vehicle. The bat for swing-bys.

LarryDavid

"What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home?
Back up to Heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the Pope maybe in Rome"

Funkstain

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

I mean

Webbins

He's got a brand new car
Looks like a Jaguar.

And later...

Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon.

Amazing.

FranticPea

Feeder? I saw them at Glastonbury one year. Some guy was stood with a mic recording the whole thing. When he got home and listened back he'd have just heard a drunken Frantic singing "I THINK HE'S GONNA TAPE IT" at him all the way through.

trippy

I think I like this for the repeated use of I

And I said, What about breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

digi

Go shorty, its your birthday.
We gonna party like its yoyr birthday,
We gonna sip bacardi like its your birthday.
And you know we dont give a fuck its not your birthday.

Clever use of rhyming birthday with birthday.
Multiple times.

I hate when they do that kinda thing.

Moot_Geeza

Bob Dylan and/or Jacques Levy wrote:

Rubin could take a man out with just once punch,
But he never did like to talk about it all that much.
It's my work he'd say, and I do it for pay,
And when it's over I'd just as soon go on my way.
Up to some paradise,
Where the trout streams flow and the air is nice,
And ride a horse along the trail.
But then they took him to the jail-house
Where they tried to turn a man into a mouse.

Didn't do it, but probably wasn't a saint*

*Probably did it.

Yossarian

digi wrote:

Go shorty, its your birthday.
We gonna party like its yoyr birthday,
We gonna sip bacardi like its your birthday.
And you know we dont give a fuck its not your birthday.

Clever use of rhyming birthday with birthday.
Multiple times.

I hate when they do that kinda thing.

The rhymes aren't at the end of the lines. I think it's quite a clever inversion myself.

Yossarian

I mean, it ain't Shakespeare, but still.

Aaroncupboard

This is probably defeating the point as it is a crap rhyme but very funny in the context of the song:

Life's a fillet of fish,
Er.........yes it is!

From Life's a Happy Song in The Muppets.

Facewon

Yossarian wrote:

Go shorty, its your birthday. We gonna party like its yoyr birthday, We gonna sip bacardi like its your birthday. And you know we dont give a fuck its not your birthday. Clever use of rhyming birthday with birthday. Multiple times. I hate when they do that kinda thing.

The rhymes aren't at the end of the lines. I think it's quite a clever inversion myself.

I reckon that's a poor example, and agree it can be shitty, but done well, it can be very clever.

(Meant to respond to this last week, ffs.)

Joe Budden is a king at this.

The shotgun bit and the gangsta bit at the end are clever as hell.

Uhh.. it's killin me soft, jokers is actin like they really the boss
With a Milli Vanilli award cause they really a fraud
Milli's applaud if you ain't really my dawg
I crack Phillies with broads but now I'm sober they don't feel me no more
And G.P.s and V.I.P.s
I be O-T in D.C. with O-Zs so my time's up like O.C.
Uhh, when I hustle they thought that I went soft
Cause y'all jerked them for the price, I took twenty percent off
I don't drive I like shotguns, never pulled L's
I like shotguns, hate .22's I like shotguns
Non-descrip's talkin bout they got guns
Like tecs 4-5s and shotguns, really they never shot guns
Go 'head act like a gangsta claim to clap like a gangsta
It's all good fellas, now he rap like a gangsta
Hate me or love me, dap me or slug me
Scream FUCK ME but when things get ugly I get gully

Moot_Geeza

Can we extend this to shit verses? If so, this is a doozy:

Cowboys like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountain mornings,
Little warm puppies and children and girls of the night.
Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do,
Sometimes won't know how to take him.
He ain't wrong, he's just different but his pride won't let him,
Do things to make you think he's right.

From Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys. Warm puppies and children? Wikipedia suggests Willie & Waylon's version was used in GTA: San Andreas.

stonechalice

Bitches, I like em brainless,

Guns, I like em stainless.

Moot_Geeza

I'm just frontin' yo, don't mean no malice,
until the playa loves the games
you'll get no change from a chalice.

g.man

hahaha

JonB

stonechalice wrote:

Bitches, I like em brainless, Guns, I like em stainless.

Bitches, I like em brainless,
Guns, I like em stainless...
steel.

No better TBH.

stonechalice

Thought about putting it in but left it.

Who the fuck wanna squeeze?,
My desert eeeez'll make mc's freeze,
Ya waking up in cold sweats, they just dreams,
You still apologising,
Analysing,
My size and your size an,
Realising,
A fist fight would be asinine.

Lost the point of the thread coz that's good though.

Brooks

Now if I fuck this model
And she just bleached her asshole
And I get bleach on my T-shirt
I'mma feel like an asshole

New gold from one Kanye West

Yossarian

So many levels of WTAFuckery in that.

Brooks

That's the entire draw of his verses really in 2016. A fleet of car crashes. Occasionally the beats are good.

davyK

A man's ambition must indeed be small
to write his name upon a shithouse wall
But before I die I'll add my regal scrawl
to show the world I'm left with sweet fuck all.

Magowan.

davyK

My name is Father Emmet and I'm banished from my home
'cause all the women loved me and I always had the bone.

I can play the concertina, guitar, bouzouki and cittern
When I dance the Siege of Ennis The floor beneath me starts to burn

For a jar or two just to get me through
I'll do a turn for you and absolve you too

I'll take care of your missus all night long the whole night through
While you jump on that young one over there that's making eyes at you.

Ceilidh Cowboy (Magowan again )

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