I'm a D**khead - the thread of staring the obvious in the face... and ignoring it. - The Bear and Badger

b0r1s

So, I'm sure I can't be the only one to look at something so obvious, then be oblivious to how it works, only to make life harder for myself by coming at it another way.

My high point on the forum had to be the PS4 Official Headphones when, inexplicably, I could get no game sound of them for months, only to discover there was a button at the front that switched volume control from chat to game. My only excuse being that my nephew was the one who turned down the game sound and I really did not notice the button.

But I think this mornings revelation may have topped this stupidity. For months I've been using a new dishwasher with some nice Finish Powerball tablets. Get a nice clean, though a bit pricey. However, I have moaned a few times about the little plastic packaging they put around each tablet. I usually end up cutting it off with a knife, it's that tight, then pop the tab into the washer. This morning, while rushing, I followed this usual pattern, only to throw the plastic packet into the sink. Scooping it out I noticed that it had turned to goo in the water. And yes, I read the packaging, only to find I am not supposed to remove the packaging, as it states on the packet!

Here are instructions for those of you in the same predicament...

Yes I'm a dickhead. There have to be more surely?

djchump

It was only last year that I realised Donald Sutherland is Kiefer Sutherland's dad.

fullspectrum

I thought I'd cancelled Netflix for about 6 months, went to buy it again and it was on. ffff

poprock

Slow clap for Boris, there.

Minor example, but: I’ve been a professional graphic designer for 21 years now. Last night I sent layouts for a magazine (a freelance job) out to the client for approval with 42 pages. Anybody who can count and use basic logic would realise that since magazine pages have two sides, each piece of paper equals four pages … so 42 is an impossible number.

Okay, I realised five minutes after sending it. But the important part there is after sending it.

D’oh.

Kow

I found the usb ports behind a panel on the front of my pc after about a year of plugging stuff into the back and complaining about it.

superflyninja

Ummmm Boris, those instructions read to me like you are supposed to remove the wrapper? Or do they come double wrapped?

poprock

They come in a plastic wrapper, which you remove. Boris was then removing the soluble coating inside that …

Kow

He should have eaten them too as per the instructions not mentioning it.

Stopharage

Only recently realised that Pokemon wasn't some random name but came from Pocket Monsters (Poketto Monsuta).

Told some students of this amazing discovery. One then told me they'd never realised that slang was a shortened version of street language. Turned out that was bollocks but believable.

b0r1s

superflyninja wrote:

Ummmm Boris, those instructions read to me like you are supposed to remove the wrapper? Or do they come double wrapped?

They come in a big bag, but then each one is tightly wrapped in a soluble coating. The key word there was tightly.

davyK

Took my "new" (pre-owned) car back to complain that the stereo wasn't working after a unrelated minor repair at the dealership I bought i from.

When I was sitting out front waiting for it to be looked at I heard a burst of laughter from the back office shortly before someone came out to give me an update. Turns out I didn't know how to switch the stereo on...

afgavinstan

Dropped my phone a while back and saw a large crack form across the whole thing. Not to worry, I thought, I've got insurance with Three. I'll just pop in and start a claim when I'm on my lunch break. It's only up the way. Pay the claim and forget about it.

So I go in and explain my predicament. The nice lady behind the counter looks intently at my device as I go on. When I finish, she motions to take it out of my hand. Ohhhhhh right, I thought. She then takes it out of its case and holds it flat on her hand and looks closely at it.

Then, she peels off the glass screen protector that was on it. A screen protector that was bought elsewhere, and applied, by myself.

Quality.

RamSteelwood

well was it just the protector that was cracked? or is this a 'they refused to fix it cos i fitted that myself?' story?

Diluted Dante

The screen protector, that Gav had forgotten he had put on.

superflyninja

Aaaahhhhhh I see!!
I do so many stupid things its the norm for me. Stupid about obvious things is my default setting. I got an office swivel chair from Ikea. Nice one that sort of fake leather look. I was assembling it away and then realised the base(that the wheels attach to/ or else it was some crucial piece) was missing. I read and reread the instructions and the base was shown but it just wasn't there. I grabbed the laptop and began furiously searching for info on the Ikea website. Only for it being midnight I would have angrily gone back to complain. About half an hour later I saw there was a zip on the chair bit. So I opened it and in there was the "missing" bit.

n0face

I came home to find my oven broken a couple of years ago, being unable to function without an oven I rushed down to Currys and bought an ex display model took it home and fitted it. When I turned it on the new oven didn't work either, I then realised that you need to set the clock for the oven to operate and on inspection the old oven worked fine. £200 pounds down but at least I had a clean oven.

Diluted Dante

I don't understand that. The clock is needed for the timer, which I never use. Why do I need to set the clock?

Hulka T

n0face wrote:

I came home to find my oven broken a couple of years ago, being unable to function without an oven I rushed down to Currys and bought an ex display model took it home and fitted it. When I turned it on the new oven didn't work either, I then realised that you need to set the clock for the oven to operate and on inspection the old oven worked fine. £200 pounds down but at least I had a clean oven.

Did a similar thing with my washing machine. Turned out the pipe was blocked

pantyfire

My best and I think I've typed it up on the forum before but...
I needed some legal disclaimer off a piece of artwork on another computer in the office. So I walked over to it, selected the text and pressed COPY, then I walked back to my computer and pressed PASTE.
It didn't work so I went back across the office and tried it again...

Think about it...

GurtTractor

Kow wrote:

I found the usb ports behind a panel on the front of my pc after about a year of plugging stuff into the back and complaining about it.

I spent an hour and a half ridiculously contorting and cutting my hand trying to remove a front fan from a crappy pc case because I assumed the front panel was not removeable. It had those split pins you get on these things, so I thought it had been popped together in the factory but wasn't designed to come off again. I've since realised that this is common in PC cases and all you have to do pull with a bit more force.

mannaboy

I panicked when my relatively new car's engine light came on and took it into my dealer, the mechanic came back very shortly with a big grin and said I should make sure the petrol tank's cap was on properly after refilling it. Fifty effing bucks to be given that advice. Speed forward a year or so and another mechanic is telling me same thing. My twins were born inbetween, exhausted at the time, but still felt a complete idiot.

RamSteelwood

f-zero....i'm sure it was only within this forum somewhere that i twigged it was meant like formula zero, as in better than formula one, formula 2 etc...

[Deleted User]

My wife once said, "Do you find that sometimes, if you walk slower, it takes you longer to get where you're going?" I replied, "Only sometimes?"

She's currently doing a PhD.

It's been a running in-joke for several years now.

[Deleted User]

I always assumed it was in relation to gravity. Hey ho.

Edit: Out of the way, Swift-boy.

b0r1s

pantyfire wrote:

My best and I think I've typed it up on the forum before but... I needed some legal disclaimer off a piece of artwork on another computer in the office. So I walked over to it, selected the text and pressed COPY, then I walked back to my computer and pressed PASTE. It didn't work so I went back across the office and tried it again... Think about it...

Apple have sorted that for you - Universal Clipboard coming in next OS.

poprock

It already works via screen sharing. SO HANDY.

Skondo

This is a very old one. Many years ago at infant school a question ended with something like 'give your answer to the paragraph in dark bold type'.

So guess what I did?

Had to sharpen the pencil often that day.

JonB

Had a thing last year when I was trying to transfer some games from the Vita memory card to my PC. Realised I needed a USB cable and started looking online to buy one. Then it occured to me I was maybe supposed to get one with the Vita and I started looking at product descriptions and pics, and in some there definitely seemed to be a USB. I looked through all the drawers where I keep leads and stuff to see if I'd put it there, but no luck. Thought fuck it, I'll have to order one after all, and as I was deciding which to buy I looked across as the Vita charger on my desk - turns out the lead that connects the Vita to the charger is the USB cable.

JonB

I also spent ages with those PS4 headphones when I first got them, thinking they didn't work. But that's because you have to go into the settings and find the option to direct all sound through headphones, rather than just voice chat, and they didn't think to mention that at all in the instructions.

JonB

I don't know whether my stories are shit or I'm just bad at telling them. Once I've written them down I always feel like I've wasted everyone's time.

JonB

Still, there'll be a page turn soon.

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