СПОРТ!


ПРОЧНОСТЬ!


ДУХ!


БОЛЬШАЯ ПОБЕДА ОСТАЕТСЯ, ЧТО БЕРЕГАЕТ!

Brothers! Sisters! Comrades! It has arrived! The great soccer tournament of world passion and victory for the people of great Mother Russia 2018 World Cup by FIFA!

32 of the worlds strongest teams of men battle to survive extreme test of strength and fortitude and unwavering fertility!

Предупреждение! Теперь мы узнаем, какая нация сильна и какая нация идет с великим позором! Только те, у кого большая сила, позволили!

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Ahem, now I've got you here, allow me to give y'all the skinny in another instalment of the greatest tournament. 

So, what's happening?
It's the 21st Fifa World Cup being hosted in Russia from 14th June to 15th July 2018. It's a bit of a big deal.

Why's that then?
Well, the winners can go down in their countries history. The best players play here, for the biggest prize, with billions tuning in whole nations come to a standstill. The world cup can make or break a players career. All the greats have had a world cup where they've shined. Pele, Maradona, Zidane, Ronaldo etc. It's the pinnacle of football, or a month of hell. Got it?

Okay then. Who's playing? What are the rules?
I'm GLAD YOU'VE ASKED. 32 teams have qualified. They are split into eight groups of four, each playing one another once over the course of the first two weeks of the tounament. The top two teams from each group then qualify for the knockout rounds, where one match decides who progresses. No away goals. Extra-time and penalties in the knockout rounds if required.

Who, though?
Here we go:

Group A
Russia
Saudi Arabia
Egypt
Uruguay

Group B
Portugal
Spain
Morocco
Iran

Group C
France
Australia
Peru
Denmark

Group D
Argentina
Croatia
Iceland
Nigeria

Group E
Brazil
Switzerland
Costa Rica
Serbia

Group F
Germany
Mexico
Sweden
South Korea

Group G
Belgium
Tunisia
Panama
England

Group H
Poland
Senegal
Columbia
Japan

Fun, huh?

Yeah, I suppose... Who's the favourites?
Well, we have reigning champions Germany in the mix as ever. Then there's Brazil, Spain, Argentina always in the mix. Dark horses are Peru, Belgium, England.

Wait... Where's Italy?! Aren't they usually here?
Nah they fucked it.



Right okay, I think I get it now. So where are the matches being played? Isn't Russia.... like.... Old as fuck?
Well, no. Yes it's a large country but COMRADE PUTIN has went to great expense to see this pass off in the most grand of stadia. Even further, we have sent SPECIAL BADGER AGENT OF KGB G.man to investigate and report back on great stadia strength and vitality. Behold:



MOSCOW | Luzhniki Stadium | Capacity:80,000


ST. PETERSBURG | Saint Petersburg Stadium | Capacity: 67,000


SOCHI | Fisht Stadium | Capacity: 48,000


EKATERINBURG | Ekaterinburg Arena | Capacity: 45,000


KAZAN | Kazan Arena | Capacity: 45,000


NIZHNY NOVGOROD | Nizhny Nogorod Arena | Capacity: 45,000


ROSTOV-ON-DON | Rostov Arena | Capacity: 45,000


SAMARA | Samara Arena | Capacity: 45,000


SARANSK | Mordovia Arena | Capacity: 45,000


VOLGOGRAD | Volgograd Stadium | Capacity: 45,000


MOSCOW | Spartak Stadium | Capacity: 42,000


KALININGRAD | Kaliningrad Stadium | Capacity: 35,000



Wow.. That's impressive. I think I wanna watch. How do I do it?
Well, I can only answer for our comrades in the United Kingdom. Here's a handy link that gives you who' showing what game and on what day. But of course, this is the age of social media so you'll be able to find stuff on Facebook, Twitter, and the like through official channels. It'll be very hard to miss anything whilst it's going on.

The world's greatest tournament surely needs the worlds greatest football, right?
Correct.
Here is the Adidas Telstar...



Mmmm. Lovely.

Anything else?

Ummm... No, I think that's it.

Great news!

LETS DO THIS!

СЛАВА В РОССИЮ !!!!