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  • BnB 2019 Secret Santa.


    It's here, finally, and wouldn't it be just lovely if we could all join in and give gifts to each other (even the ones who don't get along) to celebrate Father Christmas being born?

    I thought it about time I had a go at organising this shindig and so it's my year to forgo the presents and try my best not to fuck this shit up.


    I know it's the space year 2019 and we've all been members here for quite a while but what exactly is this annual Secret Santa event you've all been discussing?
    It's where i draw forum members names out of a hat in an elaborate ceremony that will take place in my kitchen.  Whoever you get you have to buy a gift for, pop it in the post and then wait until CHRISTMAS DAY ONLY to see if they like it.  You'll also get a gift yourself from another forum member in return.  This can be exciting.

    Sounds good, but when's the draw?

    The draw this year will be held on Sunday the 27th of October.  It will be in a secret kitchen based location and will involve three independent judges to make sure i do everything fair and don't fuck up like that time someone nameless had a bash at doing a 2018 World Cup sweepstake and drew the same team about 8 times.

    How will i know who I've got?

    You'll get a pm from me with your giftees forum name, irl name, irl address and not much else.  The rest is up to you.


    Cool.  I think i *may* join this thing this year.  Only thing is i'm a bit concerned somebody may send something me/my dog/my grandma may be allergic to/find inappropriate/really really really don't like...

    Fair point.  Any special requests then let me, yourfavouriteuncle, know by PM.  Be reasonable though, i don't want specific Christmas lists or anything, just important shit like "no nuts, they'll kill me on sight" or "don't send a ham as it'll drive my dog crazy whilst it sits there sweating under the tree".  That stuff is fine but specific requests will result in a bad mark against your name and the list straight in the bin.

    I'm actually a bit lazy and might not post it in time, any tips?

    Yup.  Look here, look at the dates, post accordingly.


    That's really useful, thanks.  Just a few more questions and then i think i'm ready to make my decision.  These next few are a little delicate, i'm a bit embarrassed to ask them tbh but erm, I, erm, don't always have access to loads of spare cash.  I can probably stretch to a present and a touch of postage but i read something here recently about how expensive it can be to send things overseas and, well, it might mean that person gets a load of shit if i draw them.

    Ah, understood.  There's two ways you can go about this.  First is the option that we've had for quite a while now where you'd just send me a little pm where you request to have a forum member who isn't overseas.  I won't tell anyone - it's just between us.
    The second option is NEW FOR 2019!!!!!!!  and is called The BnB hardship Postage Fund.  Basically I've just cashed in my copper jar and have a surprisingly large amount of actual usable money in there and so, as Secret Sant organiser, i have decided this money is to go towards organisational expenses.  Overseas postage will come under these organisational expenses and can be claimed back via PM if you really really need to.

    Wow!  That's a good (and generous) idea.  I may take you up on it.

    Thanks.  Please do take advantage of this amazing one time offer but only if you really really have to.  If you're on 3k a week and have 6 houses in your slum lord portfolio have a think about whether you really need to put the claim in.


    Will do! The thing is I've just checked my bank balance and i've looked at my income for the next three months and frankly it's just far too tight.  I really want to join in this year - like really want to - but money is just so tight and work so erratic i'm not sure if i can make it work.  Know what i mean?

    Oh dear, that's no good.  No good at all.  If you've always wanted to join the BNB Secret Santa but can't make the figures work then this is the year for you!  As part of the copper jar savings we, the organisers of this years Secret Santa, have taken a proportion of these funds and allocated them to The BnB Gift Giving Hardship Fund.  It's there only for the members who may really need it and will go out on a strictly private PM application process.  Again any lords or landed gentry can gtfo but if it may be of any use to others then please apply.  If it's the difference between taking part or not then apply to the fund that was set up to help out EVERY member of our community. 
    If this money goes unclaimed then it will be donated to a charity of my choice on January 1st 2020.

    Gosh!  You seem to be making it open to everyone, almost like you're trying to get EVERY ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE FORUM involved but the thing is i really don't like forum member X.  Can you make sure i don't draw him/her in the process please?

    You're right on my trying to get everyone involved. Wouldn't it be great to get a nice big lump of the forum involved?  I'm aiming for a 99% joining rate and hope that those who have always made that choice not to get involved think that perhaps, maybe, this is they year for them to have a go.  Just this once.
    On your actual point of not wanting to be drawn to gift to forum member X then the answer is a NO.  That's not really the point of the whole thing is it?  We're meant to be celebrating our community and spreading a bit of joy to all corners of the forum, even to those you may not be so warm to.  I kinda get it, really i do but just think if you want to be so pedantic about this stuff.  If it's the difference between you withdrawing from the event or continuing then send me a pm within 48 hours of your giftee notification and i will begrudgingly think about it.  Keep it private though. PM me only and don't post your thoughts in this thread as it is full of joy and happiness and this


    I don't believe in Jesus/Father Christmas/The rampant commercialisation of an important religious event but would still like to get involved.

    Sheesh! Erm, i dunno what to say?  Why not do what that family of Jehovas Witnesses do who have a kid in the same class as my daughter.  They still give each other gifts, eat the turkey and a few other bits but they pretend it's for something else entirely and its just coincidence that they're doing it on Christmas day.  Just do that.

    OK.  Will do.  I'm in!  You haven't given me a reason not to partake in such a wonderful joyous forum event.  So tell me what do i do to join in this wonderful occasion?

    Simple,  just pm me, yourfavouriteuncle, before midnight on Saturday 26th October 2019 and post in this thread to help get the numbers up as fast as possible.

    Will do and Merry Christmas yourfavouriteuncle!

    Merry Christmas, forum.  Merry Christmas.


    7 Day Countdown of Forum Members on THE GOOD LIST.

    Here’s a list of all the peeps currently signed up for this.  We’re on the 7 day countdown now and perhaps you’re on the fence and thinking that hmmmm you’d really like to celebrate the end of this fine decade by sending something nice like a big old joint of M and S ham with its own carving station off to Nina in LA or maybe Reg would really appreciate a nice Christmas gift of a Waterstones voucher and a box of Celebrations (or Heroes, not judging here) before we head off into the futurist seeming years of the 2020’s but you’re just not sure.  

    Well I’d say do it.  

    Just look at this fine fucking list of fine fucking people. These people on the list, well, they’re gems.  Real stand up guys and girl(s) these are, all of them to a tee (we really need to do something about our gender balance over the next ten years). You’ve spent time typing at these people and reading their hasty yet often witty responses and it’s time to give them a little bit of something as a thank you.  What can show your gratitude more than a thoughtful gift or two shipped off to another part of the world?  Plus, you’ll probably get something nice in return and even if you don’t there’s always the chance you’ll get Nick and his hand carved phalluses. 

    Here’s the list, if you’re not on it and you want to be or should be then post here or send me a pm.  The deadline looms.

    The kids on Father Christmaseseseses good list of Fine Forum Members who have behaved throughout 2019 so far.
    (In no particular order)...

    Frantic Pea

    List of who drew who AND a fancy diagram?  Wow, it really is christmas.


  • regmcfly
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    I'm in
  • In, but why so long til the draw? It takes me ages to hand carve the dildos I send, those veins are tricky.
  • FranticPea
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    I'm in. Nice one Uncle.
  • I never do this kind of thing but I thing it's something I need to get off the bucket list. Count me in king santa.
    SFV - reddave360
  • Thread stickied.
    Come with g if you want to live...
  • RedDave2 wrote:
    I never do this kind of thing but I thing it's something I need to get off the bucket list. Count me in king santa.

    We’ve got our first first timer! Get in!

  • I’ll be your second first timer. That was a glorious shining example of how to write an OP and it must be acknowledged with ACTION.
  • I'm in fam.
    I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts...
  • Boom!

    There’s a couple I really want to join in. One in particular..,

    At pop.
  • Loved this last year but it’s hectic for me up until the end of the year.
  • In because I would've been in already but also because of the spiffing op.
  • If I can help any badgers abroad in getting stuff to UK badgers, give me a shout.
  • b0r1s
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    Sounds like Andy is offering to be a mule for Pablo.

    Great OP Unc. I’m in!
    SW-2099-8822-2505 - Boris - Goldenisle - Apples
  • nick_md wrote:
    In, but why so long til the draw? It takes me ages to hand carve the dildos I send, those veins are tricky.
    Can't you begin now and get a head start, so to speak?
  • I keep on telling him to use my cast as well, he'd be done tomorrow tbh
  • I guess I'm in.

    Post early. Keep it light. Good luck.
  • JonB wrote:
    Can't you begin now and get a head start, so to speak?
    That would suggest he’s willing to send someone a generic hand-carved dildo, which is pretty insulting. Nick needs to seep in the recipient’s online presence, so that their very essence is transferred through his hands into the exquisitely crafted member.
  • The lengths I go to.
  • IN
    I am a FREE. I am not MAN. A NUMBER.
  • Cosby
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    Jacks Joystick

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    In. Nice one, Unc!
  • Also, thanks unc, top posting and organising. A mammoth phallus for you. A big one that is, not a mammoth's.
  • Dark Soldier
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    Am brassic, so not this year..
  • The BnB gift giving hardship fund is a ballsy move, I applaud your obvious faith in the Christmas spirit. And us, for deserving it.
  • Don’t be silly, we don’t deserve it.
  • Birdorf
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    Martin Bird
    U: Birdorf, 3DS: 4382 3173 0928

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    OPOTY 2019.
    SW-7458-8486-8195 - Bird - Mu Mu Land - Oranges
  • I think I'd like to do this this year too. It's something that I've been a bit afeared of as I worry that I won't be able to live up tothe frankly amazing gifts that people have given over the years. But I suppose I won't know if I don't try!

    I'm in.
    Gamertag: gremill
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