The overheard thread - The Bear and Badger

Mod74

I've forgotten what I came in here to post. Nope...it's gone.

beano

Page turn makes you a liar without any good reason cause if you had one you'd be elsewhere.Â

Thinking about it.

Mod74

Fucking page turn ruining a perfectly lazy joke.

Fossildog

Last week I heard a young lad leaving a shop and telling his mates 'They had my size but they didn't fit me'

adored

On a train back to Newcastle now, some posh student girl with a ridiculously loud voice is on the phone to a mate about the scan she's just had.

"I told George we are having a son and he blocked me on Facebook"

Apparently she is giving all of someone called Tom's clothes to charity, except his Fred Perry which she's going to eBay.

[Deleted User]

M0stly harm13ss wrote:

2) "I like music a little more at the cutting edge, pushing the boundaries you know? Coldplay, Killers. Proper artists"

Haha brilliant.

afgavinstan

A belter from work last week.

Me:Would you like any of our stocking filler DVDs here for Â£2.99?
Customer:Oh! Polar Express! But we seen that last week.... I'll just leave it, thanks.
Me:That's no problem. I'm not much of a Christmas movie guy myself...
Customer:Really? Oh I love them!
Me:Well, I do make a point of seeing a certain movie every Christmas Day..
Customer:What one?
Me:Wall-E. I just love it.
Customer:I've never seen that..
Me (and my manager, in complete unison):You've never seen Wall-E?!?!!
Customer:Nah, just never gotten round to it.
Me:Well you should rectify that immediately. It's just amazing.
Customer (to her husband):Is that the one with the robot and the annoying face, and it escapes, and they made a sequel?
Me:It's an annoying face?! He's adorable!
Husband:Naw, that's not it.
Me:Yeah, they never made a sequel to Wall-E..
Husband (to Customer):You're thinking of Short Circuit.
Customer:Oh yeah so I am.
Me:.............

I hate everyone.

regmcfly

Short Circuit but

beano

Two undergrads passing by me one girl says to the other.

"I know he does it in the shower but he should do it in his bedroom."

Sasukekun

beano wrote:

Two undergrads passing by me one girl says to the other. "I know he does it in the shower but he should do it in his bedroom."

I have no idea why anyone would want to do a shit in their bedroom.

Roujin

They didn't have german accents did they Beano?

beano

Hahhah. There are three German's that joined us in Belgium this weekend and I brought this up with the only lad and a girl I've know for a few years. I didn't know the second woman very well so didn't mention it her however the girl I know brought it up for me. They thought it was mental, there's no such obligation. The lad laughed heartily that I know someone being manipulated like he is.

I did note though that a lot of loo's across Belgium don't have sinks in, both in homes and bars. I spent my whole weekend coming from the toilet to the kitchen to use the washing up liquid. I didn't notice anyone else doing that and it made me a little ill on the inside. Holland wasn't so bad but there was the odd pub loo without a sink.

Tempy

All I hear every day at Uni is people bitching about their courses and I want to killemall, the stupid fucks.

beano

Mondays are my favourite day. Alls I ever hear on the way through the front doors is how whacked their weekend was and how they've not started their coursework.

M0stly harm13ss

Tempy wrote:

All I hear every day at Uni is people bitching about their courses and I want to killemall, the stupid fucks.

*Post printed and saved to sell to the Sun after Tempy rampage*

(dressed as a Spartan with a cat head and largeÂ Stetson)

[Deleted User]

Tempy wrote:

All I hear every day at Uni is people bitching about their courses and I want to killemall, the stupid fucks.

Urgh, I remember that from uni.

People bitching because they were at the library until 2am, then you find out they didn't get there until 10pm.
Then acting like me and my mates never did anything and were always at the pub, when in reality we just got up at a reasonable time, did a day in the studio between 10am and 6pm, then hit the pub as everyone else was emerging from their squallier.

Tempy

"Killer found daubing blood on Uni canteen walls with cryptic message 'HatCat So Best' psychologists baffled."

equinox_code

Sadly not a funny one, but I walked past two girls- I'm guessing aged only about 14 or 15- shouting "Fuck you nigger, get a job" at a homeless black guy who'd asked for change. They didn't look the type at all. Was very surprising.

Skondo

Not exactly 'overheard,' but this seemed to be the best place.

We are starting a recruitment process for someone fairly high up in the company. The Chairman and MD are going through a list of appropriate questions. One of these is this belter:

"How do you feel about black people?"

Please note that the vacancy is for a Sales and Marketing Director.

Sasukekun

Some chav girl at Paddock wood train station about 20 seconds ago
'What are all these people doing Yup at this time?'

I almost felt like saying 'Going to work, what's your excuse?'

davyK

This really is true....on the platform at Birmingham New St....

member of train service company (whoever they were at the time)..was seeking support from colleagues for ejecting a passenger who had no ticket..

"I want him off now - I asked to see his ticket and he told me to suck his black cock......I'm not 'avin it."

Hilarious....

Mod74

Did I ever post about the time the ticket collector instantly went off on one because this eastern european guy didn't have the right type of ticket? Demanded the supplement then when his card didn't work instantly decided to throw him off at the next station. Confusing rules for anyone never mind a guy that barely spoke English. Ticket collectors attitude wasn't borderline racist, it was racist. Except the guy wasn't black. Oh you know what I mean.

adkm1979

The ticket collector was black?

Mod74

Neither were.

I think he was Scottish actually.

adkm1979

You THINK?! Â Assumed, more like. Â Racist.

Mod74

My memory is cloudy but it was the train from Edinburgh.

He was a proper short fat bald with glasses type. Not the friendly type, the other type.

adkm1979

Mod74 wrote:

It was cloudy so it must have been Edinburgh. He was short, fat, bald with glass of scotch, unfriendly. Â Typically Scottish.

Racist.

equinox_code

Ticket checkers

Passport control

Bouncers

The three jobs guaranteed to attract arseholes

igorgetmeabrain

I've never come across an impolite/unfriendly ticket inspector or passport control person. There are way more than three jobs in which a high level of arseholery is considered a requisite skill though.

adkm1979

Taxi drivers.

Bus drivers.

Couriers.

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories