The overheard thread - The Bear and Badger

beano

A place for the unbelievable utterances you hear when you're out and about. You can reiterate them here and we can ponder on how amazing the human race is.Â

In a pub, a woman is in conversation with another woman and a man but the convo isn't audible to everyone then just at that moment when the tune changes and there's a second of silence she proclaims loudly. "She's not my mother, she's my biological incubator!"

M0stly harm13ss

Working away last week, I was in Wagamamma. Those bench type seats aren't great for privacy, so got most of the conversation of the couple nearby, who sounded like they were on a first date. He had two particularly fantastic moments..

1) Reached forward, clasped both her hands, stared into her eyes and said "You can never..never be too careful about your total cover when looking for buildings and contents insurance"

2) "I like music a little more at the cutting edge, pushing the boundaries you know? Coldplay, Killers. Proper artists"

[Deleted User]

2) "I like music a little more at the cutting edge, pushing the boundaries you know? Coldplay, Killers. Proper artists"

That would have tipped me over the edge.

[Deleted User]

i overheard a mother telling her son "he's not your father he's just the sperm donor of blackburn".

Dark Soldier

Mother to what appeared to be her fiveish year old son in ASDA:

"Hurry up ya little cunt"

Radcliffe, eh. Beautiful.

[Deleted User]

Should have upper cutted her

Dark Soldier

She was fit, in a scally way. Early 20s, I just oogled and ignored the runt.

Roujin

I hear people dropping f-bombs all the time in public, it saddens me.

Skerret

"...yeah so we'll like, we'll like go there and stuff but hopefully we don't like see anyone there that like we don't like, like."

Every word.

LarryDavid

Two teen girls talking about the holocaust which they were studying for GCSE (or maybe A-Level) History:

"It was way out, like"

"Yeah but the Jewish did call themselves 'the chosen people', y'know if you get cocky like that you've gotta expect a smackdown"

I'm not quite sure if it was said knowingly or not. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

igorgetmeabrain

Vicky-Pollard-a-like in Manchester Arndale, pushing buggy with sleeping infant, lit fag in one hand, stuffing pasty into face with other. Little girl dancing around, twirling her dress. Pollard, through a mouthful of pasty yells, 'FER FUCK'S SAKE KYLIE, STOP FUCKING SHOWIN' ME UP'!

[Deleted User]

AMAZING lol

Yossarian

I think the best thing I ever overheard was two blokes on a train and one of them was talking about a new trainee at work: 'he's just got no common sense. I asked him to cut up some rope for us and when I went to check on him a bit later he was trying to cut it with a hammer'.

I burst out laughing at this.

beano

As said the human race is amazing.

fullspectrum

"What's the capital of Africa"

(after some time)

"Ummmmmm Nigeria?"

Brooks

Lolled hard @ Larry's contrib.

Brooks

Oh, and from me: London, 10 years ago, a student (probably)"the French are okay with underage sex, it's intellectual"

three1ne

Yossarian wrote:

I think the best thing I ever overheard was two blokes on a train and one of them was talking about a new trainee at work: 'he's just got no common sense. I asked him to cut up some rope for us and when I went to check on him a bit later he was trying to cut it with a hammer'. I burst out laughing at this.

Brilliant.

adkm1979

One that immediately pops to mind was two teenage girls in HMV as 'Father & Son' is playing.

"Who's the old man copying Boyzone?"

Facewon

For best effect you need to try and imagine this in a bit of a Barry Mckenzie accent, out of the mouth of a woman.

Two young mums trying to entertain a baby in a pram, waving their arms and whatnot:

"Look at the little maggot, he loves it."

God bless Broadmeadows.

Mod74

Not a conversation I heard as such...

I'm on the bus and am nosily watching the girl in front using her iPhone to look at Facebook. At best guess she's about 14-16.

Another girl has made a post and spelt the name of a third girl wrong. I don't remember exactly what the name was but I do remember it was one that was easy to get wrong.

So the girl on the bus screengrabs the post then uploads the picture to her timeline and writes "Retard" underneath it.

Kids are fucking horrible, and technology is only making them worse. I'm just glad it wasn't another thing we/I had to deal with at that age. Rant over. And yes, this probably works better in the Facefuck thread.

Webbins

I'm sorry, you were on a bus and came over all Savile whut?

Mod74

I did a bit yeah. In my defence I was simply nosy/bored not grooming.

Skerret

Facewon wrote:

For best effect you need to try and imagine this in a bit of a Barry Mckenzie accent, out of the mouth of a woman. Two young mums trying to entertain a baby in a pram, waving their arms and whatnot: "Look at the little maggot, he loves it." God bless Broadmeadows.

I can picture it.

beano

There's been recent research by the OII about a small percentage of youths avoiding the Internet because of social media bullying. IE because they have a bad time on social media they avoid computers, or devices that give them access to the Internet as a result of bullying. It's a small percentage but it interesting. I'll dig up the articles if I can and get em listed in current affairs.

adkm1979

It's probably just the fat / ugly / ginger kids, though, so it's okay.

Blue Swirl

Two girls sat in front of me on the bus, back in my undergrad days:

Girl 1: "You coming to the party tonight?"
Girl 2: "Yeah, should be. Who's going to be there?"
G1: "Usual crowd. I think Dave'll be there, too."
G2: "Dave? Which Dave?"
G1: "With brown hair?"
G2: *blank look*
G1: "Tall-ish. I think."
G2: *blank look*
G1: "His girlfriend cheated on him with his sister."
G2: "Oh, that Dave."

Escape

It must've been the claw and not the hammer? Not the hammer...

I've nothing. Not much passive human contact out here in the country.

beano

One girl chatting to another seemingly about her house mate. I think it's what she feels like saying

"Don't do that in the shower do it in your bedroom."

Matt_82

I heard some guy telling his friend that some American Special Ops teams had been doing something hush hush in some place or other. Â I wasn't listening to the details. Â I did have to laugh though when he cited the 'plausible deniability' scene from Independence Day as proof that these things go on without the President knowing.

three1ne

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories