That's Algeria. Half the team are fucking frenchies

Apparently Steve Bruce is favourite for the Newcastle job.

Those poor Geordies, no one deserves this much punishment.

Their intelligence can make them quite neurotic and anxious actually, in my experience at least, put the average border collie in charge of Newcastle and he’s walking away from the job 9 times out of 10.

They can’t take the pressure, the lack of managerial control at the club would frustrate any dog but a collie in particular.

It’s a job for a dumbly loyal yet none too bright domesticated animal. Personally, I’d like to see a duck given a chance. I like their quacking, and also it’s something that a Jermaine Jenas, Danny Murphy or Alan Shearer might easily mistake for vocal encouragement from the sidelines. They love all that on MOTD.

“Look at him there Gary, quacking his heart out. He’s doing his best, he’s trying to motivate them but they’re just not listening. A few of them in that dressing room need to take a good, hard look at themselves in the mirror instead of always looking to blame the manager...”

I’m not saying it’s an ideal appointment. You’re right to question my selection of a migratory bird in an August to May European footballing calendar, but it’s got to the stage where the board should be thinking outside the box and a duck is as good a choice as any animal, to my mind.

A pot bellied pig would be a winner amongst the fan base I feel, many of whom do have pot bellies but again, it brings difficulties. They can be temperamental and can lose their rag, squealing and biting and what-not. In a relegation battle you don’t need that.

I never though of that. Your owner’s a metaphorical pot bellied pig, greedily up to his snout in the financial trough and your manager’s literally a fat, bloated, mud covered pig ... they’re bound to clash eventually. And who suffers? The fans.

I do like the idea of a pole cat, although I’d play it safe and have him integrated within a wider managerial team. Just a personal choice really, you’ve got your pole cat in charge of first team affairs, backed up by the duck as head coach (first part of the season anyway), the collie in charge of fitness and a pot bellied pig as part of a wider transfer committee. I’d also add a small chicken called Norman too, just find a job for him really.

I’d like to see a chicken pecking away in the technical area, particularly at St James’ Park.

Have we considered a mole, ostrich or zebra?

You're all talking shit. Everyone knows that polecats have an insatiable sexual appetite. It would cause havoc in the dressing room and cause unnecessary tension off-field amongst the players' wives. Of course, you could have it neutered first, but that risks the cat losing its mojo. And a dickless cat wouldn't find much support in the terraces.

What they really need is a sly Fox. A very sly Fox. Someone who can really shake things up. You'd have to forgot Larry's idea of a Chicken in the technical area as his number 2 though. That would cause no end of trouble and the fans just wouldn't stand for it.

Poch is a Minotaur.

Great rally!

What is happening?

Love Nadal.

Second set was kinda weird, he could wobble... But I also don't it tbh!

Federer really is a genius. The sport won't be the same once he stops playing.

Federer providing an absolute tennis masterclass

Some pretty outrageous tennis happening. Fifth set would be amazing