Is this the sequel to Disco Elysium?

Go fuck yourself fucking pigs!!

Wino wakes up on the pavement, he feels dazed and confused but through the haze hes aware of pain in his ribs. There it is again, a sudden sharp impact kind of pain.

"Get up you lazy fuck! Get the fuck up!"

The pain again. He looks up to see Dino standing over him, about to kick him in the ribs for the fourth time.

"What the fuck Dino, im awake"

Bang, Dino's steel toe capped boot lands right in his sternum.

"YOU CAN STOP KICKING ME NOW!"

This is a mess already.

monkey wrote:

This is a mess already.

Said the female as she entered the office

That's not my canonical contribution.

The police chief has them in his office.

“Why the fuck should I give you any more time on this case? You’ve spent two months hanging around gala casinos, spent £500 of tax payers money on - a dog? -the Police and Crime Commissioner is breathing down my neck and for what”

“...sir we managed to get..”

“WHAT you managed to fucking FUCK. One parking ticket is not fucking enough for two months work!! Where’s this mythical Spoons Murderer?! I feel like I’m more likely to find Lord Lucan while making chocolate chip flapjacks at my mummy’s house (god rest her soul)”

“Sir,”

“What wino”

“We have some hot new leads...one of which has a military connection”

“You’re gonna involve the arm..”

“Navy, actu-“

“I don’t give a fuck. You get me something by Friday or it’ll be your ass in front of the PCC, get the fuck out of here you pair of self anus fiddling wankers”

You had me at 'anus fiddling wankers'. Go on...

Meanwhile, back in the boudoir, things were heating up between Bernard and Ethel.

Kow wrote:

Is this the sequel to Disco Elysium?

No, it's outrun

Because that's what the bad guys do to them

Skerret wrote:

Meanwhile, back at the distillery, Pete and Issaquah had discovered the source of the dreadful odour

The odour appears to have stemmed from an anabolically induced monkey which has been gallivanting around the distillery spraying piss deposits in some form of alpha primate ownership ritual.

Quite how this monkey both came to be in the distillery, or pumped to the nut with steroids is yet to be discovered.

Minnesänger wrote:

Meanwhile, back at the distillery, Pete and Issaquah had discovered the source of the dreadful odour

The odour appears to have stemmed from an anabolically induced monkey which has been gallivanting around the distillery spraying piss deposits in some form of alpha primate ownership ritual. Quite how this monkey both came to be in the distillery, or pumped to the nut with steroids is yet to be discovered.

Issaquah thought back to his time in the french foreign legion. They had encountered a sick bastard they named “The Fauna Fiddler” who was known for performing sick experiments on jungle wildlife. Lynx on butterflies, so when they flapped about, the whole are smelled like an after-school disco. Mascara on snakes. Chastity cages on hippos. Abuse shaved onto the side of a gorilla’s head calling it a “Dumb, chimp fuck”. Was The Fauna Fiddler back? They never did catch him...

Pete stood, heel on the wall as he took a seductive drag on his cig. His thumb was inside his belt as he tapped his fingers to an unidentified gabber track rolling through his mind.

"Evening, Issaquah"

Issaquah dropped the six barrels of stout he carried on his formidable back, and thrust fluidly into rapid squats.

"Eh up m'lad" he squeaked as his tendons groaned under his bulk.

"How ya keeping big lad?" Pete hollared back, louder than he intended.

"Not 'arf bad. Double F's back"

"What"

Dust bellowed up from the ground as if salt thrust into the eyes of a small child assaulted by a terrible magician. The monkey swaggered between them and locked both in the eyes. It appeared that the steroids had left the monkey with two lazy eyes. It beat its chest rhythmically, cocked one leg and fizzed out a message with its stream in the dust.

As soon as its excretion had dripped to a close, it legged it the fuck out of dodge.

"What's that say then Pete" cried Issaquah as his calfs buckled under his vast weight.

"He's watching you at nig...Seems his piss ran amok at that point big man" Pete was now eating his cigarette.


"Double fucking F man..."

They were still no closer to finding out who The Fauna Fiddler was, whether he was back, or what was going on. All they knew is they had several barrels of Guinness surrounded by four female monkeys spraying their essence as if it was sexual Febreze.

My contribution is that at some point an angry black police captain behind a desk wearing a waistcoat has to thump the table, complain about getting it in the ear from the commissioner, and tell them "you two clowns have 24hours to straighten this out."