101 Things that get on our tits but don't actually matter in the slightest.
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Childintime wrote:I remember being one of the three wise men. I also remember not wearing underwear, getting bored, and playing with the peen.Dark Soldier wrote:I was Joseph too! Apparently I spent half the play picking my arse.
Even back then we knew exactly what we wanted to do with our lives. -
I was never in a nativity play but I did play Godfrey in a Dad's Army adaptation when I was 10.
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The school I went to for most of my primary and middle didn't require everyone to talk or sing but everyone had some kind of part, mostly sheep.
When I changed school we had some obsessive teacher running the nativity who insisted on everyone singing and after school rehearsals.
It was a big year group, over a hundred kids, so as you could imagine 90% of us were "towns folk" and had to sing her awful, shit songs she had written.
Second practice I had the dentist, booked 6 months ago, out of school hours, before I had even started attending the fucking school. She had a fit when I told her. How could they possibly practice with a mere 89 towns folk!?!
She questioned my commitment, to which I shrugged.
Anyway, they made us do 4 nights of shows, at least that was the plan.
The first night we all behaved.
Second night we mucked about the entire play, bored out of our skulls.
The next day me and a few mates were paraded around each class room in the school while the teacher stood there red faced stating "these, these boys, are the faces of the people who ruined the nativity, RUINED!"
By the later end of our tour it was impossible not to burst out laughing every time.
Our final punishment was to be banned from the last two performances, along with our parents. Result alround. -
ahahaha!Come with g if you want to live... -
I was Joseph too. We are a chorus of fucking Josephs in this place.
They made me sing. Or tried to. I was terrified of singing and they made me do Little Donkey completely solo. The cruel bastards.
I must have been in a nativity play every year, but that is the only one I remember. -
As Joseph, I did get to hold the presents.Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009. -
For me a bugbear I've discovered today is people rolling their eyes or tutting when my boys are crying on public transport.
I can't help but see red and want to ask them what their problem is.
The same but moreso when my wife has to breastfeed one of them in a cafe or restaurant.
I would happily flatten a person if they comment negatively in any way.Not everything is The Best or Shit. Theres many levels between that, lets just enjoy stuff. -
I'll be sure to compliment your wife's breast if I see you, then. I wouldn't want to get in a fight.
No, wait... -
Lol.
Oddly enough I would be fine with thatNot everything is The Best or Shit. Theres many levels between that, lets just enjoy stuff. -
I have no issue with breastfeeding in public. Crying babies in public do make me want to go on a murderous rampage. -
Sorry Wooks.
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The only time I get really pissed off about crying children is when the parents are absolutely clueless about how to deal with it.
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Not attempting to try is the one that gets me, or even acknowledging it. Not even offering a futile "come on now, you're annoying all these people", or making a quick 'kids eh?' face. Trying and failing is fine (I'm talking toddlers and above, there's no point in appealing to baby's sense of shame; pacifying either works or fails and drains even more precious energy).
A colleague I used to travel to work with was the world's biggest prick with crying/noisy kids on trains. Tensing his legs/raising them off the floor, or throwing his hands over his face and silently mouthing "aaargh!", as if throwing his own paddy was his performance art version of what he thought everyone else was thinking. I used to sleep to avoid talking to him, so babies crying would mean a) I woke up and b) everyone probably thought I was mates with the 6ft baby. -
I arranged the nativity at school this year
One of the shepherds completely overdid his line in the first rehearsal, casting one hand to the sky as he elongated the words 'heavenly noise?' but it sounded so much like Matt Berry I actively encouraged it all the way. It was fucking amazing. -
Boss!Come with g if you want to live...
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I was a narrator one year for nativity and had to stand at the front of the stage throughout. At the end of the penultimate song, one of the chorus line behind threw up over my head.
As the song finished and kids started heaving, I just carried on with 'We hope you enjoyed our nativity play as much as we enjoyed performing it.' Immediately followed with more projectile vomit launching into my hair. -
My daughter fell off the stage at one of hers years ago and still hasn't lived it down.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote] -
Show networks- die
- @CustomCosy
- Xbox
- Skerret
- PSN
- Skerret
- Steam
- Skerret
- Wii
- get tae
Send messageAndy wrote:I'll be sure to compliment your wife's breast if I see you, then. I wouldn't want to get in a fight.
No, wait...
Skerret's posting is ok to trip balls to and read just to experience the ambience but don't expect any content.
"I'm jealous of sucking major dick!"~ Kernowgaz -
Stopharage wrote:I was a narrator one year for nativity and had to stand at the front of the stage throughout. At the end of the penultimate song, one of the chorus line behind threw up over my head.
As the song finished and kids started heaving, I just carried on with 'We hope you enjoyed our nativity play as much as we enjoyed performing it.' Immediately followed with more projectile vomit launching into my hair.
Man, such composure. -
Show networks
- die
- @CustomCosy
- Xbox
- Skerret
- PSN
- Skerret
- Steam
- Skerret
- Wii
- get tae
Send messageTrue professionalism.Skerret's posting is ok to trip balls to and read just to experience the ambience but don't expect any content.
"I'm jealous of sucking major dick!"~ Kernowgaz -
The show must go on.Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
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I just got a letter from the DVLA giving me the last chance to pay my road tax before they send me an £80 fine.
My road tax is £0.00. Only this government could contrive to have a situation where I don't have to pay road tax, but do have to specifically go to their website and enter the code they sent me to confirm that I'm not sending them any money. -
Yeah, but you still need a tax dis...
...Hmm. -
The Apple Xmas advert with Frankenstein's monster is absolutely shit.
What the fuck is that song they are half singing? -
That isn't bad, it is the fact they barely get a single line out in the advert. It is hardly one of the big Xmas songs.
It sounds like they are just saying it in a weird way.
Garbage. -
SpaceGazelle wrote:Underpaid staff in Santa hats.
They have probably listened to the same 5 Xmas songs on loop for a month as well. -
People who do their Christmas shopping tomorrow.
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