Guy i work with called dan, his nicknames are 'big desperate' or 'fan' as 'fandan' is a Glaswegian insult. He doesn't get it, he's Welsh.

I worked with a guy called Stuart.
He thought was god's gift to women, he was actually a real creep, stank and would often have mysterious stains down his front like he had tipped a whole carbonara on himself.

My mate called him Disco Stu one day, I miss heard and Discount Stu was born.

That eventually got shortened to just Discount.

Excellent. People don't forget.

A female dogwalker in my local park who looks like Dennis Waterman has been dubbed Dennis Waterlady, which was my wife's but she'd deny all knowledge if questioned.   

A desperately try-hard Eminemalike who briefly worked in my office, before getting sacked for telling an elderly female supervisor who questioned his lateness to fuck off, was given the nickname '50p'.

We had a John Arbuckle too, which was simply based on an incredible likeness.  I knew there was a guy who'd been given the nickname John Arbuckle for about a week before I saw him, so it landed pretty hard when I first caught sight of him in the loo.

We called someone at uni Carl Shrewsbury because he was from Shrewsbury.

Was a long time until I learnt his name was Andy.

Lad at school picked up a penny in Year 7 and is still called Scaff to this day.

In our school days I knew a lad called Dave who would try his best at everything he did, especially football. He treated everything like he was playing in the cup final so he became cup final Dave.

We had a mate whose last name was Head. Born out of our stoner days that became shed. Then shed wood. Then shedward Woodward like the equaliser. Then we removed the D's in that to become she war woo war which sounded like a certain sherar. He ended up being known as shewar woowar princess of power. That's what smoking weed will do to you.

I'm not gonna go into the details but one of my best mates of 30 years is still known as Pockeyes the Fury Blaze to this day. His last name is podmore.

There you go, my three favs.

Pubs-for-locals are quite good for them, especially when they stick for decades. Varying quality, of course.  'Lizard Man Dave', due to the fact that his tongue flicks out in anticipation of his umpteenth Fosters.  'Dynamite' (self titled) - always goes off, apparently.  Never seen it though.  'Tampon Terry' - empties the extra bins in lady loos for a living.  'Jumbo' - was Jimbo until he got excessively big.

Had a mate called Derek - was known either as "Bo" or as "Aye Derek" as he tended to not be entirely believable.

Had a mate called Dippy because of a card game that was played on a flight to the US in which he was always having to dip because he couldn't make a play. Stuck with him for years. He was a lunatic with the drink in him so it suited him though.

Another mate was called fish because he drank like one.

regmcfly wrote:

Can I ask a new question I sit across from a co worker guidance teacher that I like a lot and go drinking with at the weekend etc but we like to wind each other up in work. Anyone have any really far too safe practical jokes

Safe?
Reprogram some of the speed dials on his phone.
Tear off a bit of a PostIt note and stick it over the laser of his mouse.
Turn the staples in his stapler upside down.
Lift the start of his sellotape roll, put a small lengthways cut in the middle, and flatten the end down. Repeat as necessary.
Every Friday, after he leaves, pour a little milk onto the seat of his chair.