The No Subject Thread - The Bear and Badger

Escape

Give your love to a Velcro man, he's gonna grip ya hard as he can can.

JonB

Seem to have some sort of stomach virus. Started feeling it yesterday afternoon and now shit's got real, so to speak. No vomiting yet, but it's not out of the question.

Still, it doesn't seem as bad as what my neighbour had this week (touch wood). He was sent to hospital for an operation due to an infection caused by an ingrowing hair on his balls. WTF?

acemuzzy

I'm glad I live in London. Where we don't talk to neighbours. Classic case of TMI right there

Tempy

Everyone in the close is having leccy issues so for about the first time since I moved here I think we all stood and talked in the stair well. Fair odd mix of people right here.

regmcfly

Welcome to close. our best one was the guy screaming about killing himself for 3 hours outside our door.

Yossarian

If you were going to kill yourself, you'd think you'd want to get it over with more quickly than that.

regmcfly

Yeah, it wasn't a pleasant time for anyone. I went out to talk to him and then realised I had fuck all chance so called the police and they struggled with him. Awful time all round, and was a week before I left to go to Venezuela for a month so Mrs reg was feeling a bit on edge

[Deleted User]

My flats are a UKIP nightmare.
Flat 1. A Korean student couple.
2. Black single mother.
3. Jewish spiritual healer.
4. Polish woman, her West Indian boyfriend and their kid (soon to be kids).
5. Black gay guy.
6. Straight white male (me).
7. White lesbian couple.
8. An Imam, his wife and kid.

Diluted Dante

One of these is a lie?

[Deleted User]

Nope. No-one has blown themselves up or gone on a shooting spree either somehow. It's almost like people from different backgrounds can get on.

Dark Soldier

We have a solid geezer across from us, top lad, swears a lot like me, get on great with him. Above us a weird older lady who seemed to get the flat by pretending some black dude was her partner and he fucked off after three days never to be seen again. If she ever catches you for a chat there's no escape. She also leaves her washing out for like a week at a time and it inevitably ends up on the floor.

Across from her is top, top geezer man with a trade who can't get a job and his lad. City supporter fuck. Top two flats are obese nurse woman who is lovely and cool, and a younger couple in their first ever place together who once a month have people round and don't realise that being LOUD AS FUCK and doing karaoke at 4am isn't the best idea, whilst they nip out for a cig/joint at the front of the block which is directly outside my fucking window TALKING LIKE CUNTS until 6am.

g.man

FUCK THOSE GUYS!

poprock

Dark Soldier wrote:

… and a younger couple in their first ever place together who once a month have people round and don't realise that being LOUD AS FUCK and doing karaoke at 4am isn't the best idea, whilst they nip out for a cig/joint at the front of the block which is directly outside my fucking window TALKING LIKE CUNTS until 6am.

I think that younger couple come as standard with every shared stairway. Mine shake the formula up a bit by sneaking into the back garden for their fag breaks (which belongs to the nice lady in the basement flat, and should be her private space). Which is, obviously, directly below my bedroom window for them to do their TALKING LIKE CUNTS until 6am.

Dark Soldier

The flat above us is the weird one, we had Lesley first, absolute fucking fruitloop who used to knock on our door saying she could hear us talking about her (we weren't), her daughter used to apologise to us about her whenever she was around, and who I heard screaming for help one night so I knocked on for obese nurse woman who went into her flat, shouted "Don't come in here DS" and inevitably I did to see her stark naked in her chair with the floor littered with empty vodka bottles. She had been screaming because she couldn't turn her telly on. It wasn't on at the wall. Four weeks later her daughter came to visit and she was found dead in said seat. Her daughter told the local shop not to serve her alcohol so she paid taxi drivers to pick it up from ASDA.

After that was two chav as fuck but hot women, one of whom had a bedroom DJ boyfriend who I have to fucking shout at like a mental because he felt playing techno at full fucking bass for 8 hours every day whilst he clanged mixes was the greatest idea. The other one's boyfriend got sent down for 16 years by trying to bring in 28million quids worth of cocaine via a fake taxi firm front with a bunch of his mates. They had a brand new car every week, Range Rovers, Porsches etc. They said one of their dad's was a 'car dealer' yeah right love okay.

Then fat lad and fat missus who ate McDonalds everyday, he shagged her sister, then they moved out, and now weird woman above.

[Deleted User]

My building is fairly boring. Next door to me is an old widower who takes in my parcels if I'm out. Above him is a couple, maybe a a few years younger than me. I think they've maybe just had a baby, but I don't know for sure. Upstairs from me is a South African guy who rents his flat, and supports Hearts. When he first moved in he was there all the time, but I think he changed job and got a girlfriend. He stayed in the flat for one night, maybe two, every month or two. When he does, he spends just about the whole time hoovering and cleaning. Which is odd, because what is there to clean up if he's never there?

Tempy

The only bad people on the close here aren't that bad, a young couple
if they typical scally variety, one of which sells the hash.

People forever standing outside the close and shouting "KUH-STEH*!" to get let in.

*Kirsty