It's a song! Wooo!  Yes, it's a bit obscure, yes it's very cheesy. But I'm a sucker for a list song, and it has jingling bells, and cute/irritating kids, and just the right level of middle age man nostalgia...

Apparently Wile E. Coyote was based on Mark Twain's description of the coyote as "a living, breathing allegory of Want". Maybe that's what I identified with as a kid. Or maybe it was just the knowledge that no matter how smart you think you are, you're still going to run head first into a painting of a wall. Either way, I loved Road Runner cartoons as a kid, so a (very short) Christmassy Road Runner gives a nice festive nostalgia kick...

 

In case anyone thought I'd forgotten the true meaning of Christmas, here's Hegley, on Jesus...

Slightly self indulgent this, as I've picked it purely because my daughter's singing it tonight at a local Open Mic thing. It's not explicitly a Christmas song, but there's something about the cold, the fragility, and the ultimate promise to be kept safe, that feels more Christmassy than a whole host of actual Christmas tunes...

OK, it's Monday, it's going to take industrial levels of good will and Christmas cheer to get through it. Fortunately, we have Brett Goldstein (Roy from Ted Lasso) attempting to do the entirety of the Muppets Christmas Carol in 6 minutes. Is it a wonkily shot video taken by someone who is clearly a bit drunk?  Yes.  Does the fact they're clearly having a great time actually add to the experience?  Also yes.

You get two for one today, but before you get too excited, it's worth saying that this is because they're both objectively awful. Yep, it's Novelty Christmas Song Corner...

First up we have "I Know What You Want For Christmas" by Kay Martin and Her Bodyguards.  Two reasons for picking this - firstly, the record cover is the closest you're going to get to the boobs calendar I know some of you were hoping for.  The second is that, whilst this is just one of many, many songs that lean on double entendre, this one is weirdly entertaining because it doesn't quite work - making the whole thing more baffling than amusing, even once you get the to the not particularly funny punchline. (A second listen is, weirdly just more WTF once you know what's going on.)



Secondly we have What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Has A Comb)? by the Star Wars Intergalactic Droid Coir and Chorale (I'm not making this up.) It's... self explanatory really. The title is gloriously silly, the song, oddly cheesy and sweet, and sung by unbelievably irritating robot voices. Enjoy?

A slightly sobering double bill this time.  Firstly, there's this - Christmas Under Fire - a 1940s propaganda movie which shows footage of Christmas in England during the Blitz.



There's also this - Peace on Earth - an old MGM cartoon from 1939 which is remarkable in many ways, both for its outright anti-war message as well as offering an interesting alternative explanation for all those cartoons featuring anthropomorphic animals...

Annoyingly I can only find this one on DailyMotion, so here's a link.

A proper Christmas song for you. I'm always slightly surprised this one doesn't get more radio play - it's beautiful, and it's Marvin Gaye for crying out loud.  I think it's simply that the inevitable "why are the snowflakes purple?" question works against it...



Sadly I couldn't find any video of Gaye performing this one, but I could find footage of him singing "Pretty Little Baby".  Same song, different words. (There seems to be a surprising amount of disagreement about which came first but I think Snowflakes was written, shelved, released as Pretty Little Baby, and then resurrected for a Motown Christmas album in the 90s.)

So, here's Pretty Little Baby:

It feels like a fairly knowing nod to Purple Snowflakes, so it seems only right that it comes next. Here's John Legend and Stephen Colbert with "Nutmeg". (Written by the late Adam Schlesinger)

If you want to see it performed it's on Vimeo here.

Or here's the song:



From the same session, here's Colbert and Elvis Costello with the considerably more serious "There are Much Worse Things to Believe In" - which slightly fudges exactly what they're advocating for (Christmas Spirit or, you know, tolerant Christianity?). I recommend taking whichever version suits, and enjoying it anyway.

Performance here.

And here's the song:

We'll be getting our tree this weekend, so it seems like a good time to post this - in which the trees finally get their revenge for hacking them up every year. Erm, please don't watch it with your kids...

When I first assembled my list of stuff I was going to post in here (it's not as haphazard as I make it appear) this next one was on YouTube.  For whatever reason, in the intervening couple of weeks, it's been taken down. Which is...annoying.

Still, I've found a link to it, but apologies that you'll have to click through to Somewhere Else.

Anyway, as an antidote to yesterday's offering, here's something altogether gentler. It's an Oscar nominated dutch short about about an office worker who has two weeks to learn the tango...

Tanghi Argentini (Argentine Tango).  

Huge thanks to Moot for making a suggestion for the Advent Calendar. Given that (a) I'm something of a fan, and (b) it's December - he nominated this rather lovely cover of Big Star's "Jesus Christ", performed by the Decemberists:



He also gifted me this rather lovely performance of Christmas in Prison, which it seems churlish to keep to myself...



Thanks Moot!  

OK, we're past the half way mark, so it feels like it's time for a game. 

Here then, for anyone who hasn't come across it before, is your opportunity to experience the power, the pleasure, and yes, quite possibly the pain, of:

Skeal.

(Needs sound on.)

Right then, time for another song I think.  Here's a short but sweet holiday ditty from Devo - for anyone of any belief or otherwise:



Diddly diddly, diddly diddly doooo....  

Here are some nice ladies singing a Christmas Song:



(Though there's nothing wrong with getting your presents from the Oxfam shop if you ask me - as long as it's stuff the recipient would like.  A far greater offence is to do this:  )

 

One for the haters:

 

The Grinch Variations.

As you'll probably have gathered, I have a soft spot for a slightly odd Christmas tune. I'm also a fan of covers, and as a result like nothing more than a decent cover of someone else's Christmas song. Despite this, I'm often surprised by which songs they choose to do a cover of - and particularly weird to me is the sheer number of people who, when faced with the enormous variety of Christmassy songs out there, decide to opt for "You're a Mean One, Mr Grinch".  By definition it's not terribly Christmassy, it's musically kind of bland, and half of it is spoken word.  Yet, there they all are.

So for your listening pleasure (?) here are a bunch of different takes on the same tune:

First off here's Aimee Mann delivering a slightly loungey version... 



Electric Six doing it pretty much as you'd imagine. (Bonus points for holding a mug of whatever all the way through)



And then we have Macy Gray just totally going for it...



(As the greatest gift possible, I'm not going to include the God-awful Pentatonic version. Just know that it exists, and you don't want it.).

Right then, we're in the final strait. To celebrate, from here on in you'll get a "proper" Christmas song/carol as well as something else on every day.

So, for "proper" songs let's start with the Daddy of all celebrity Christmas sing-a-longs:



And for the "other thing" here's the original short that ultimately led to the "Rare Exports" movie:

Sufjan Stevens has recorded a lot of Christmas songs, so it only seems right that he get mentioned on this Advent Calendar.  In fact, he manages to get both the "proper" Christmas Song slot, and the "something else".  The first offering then is a lovely, twinkly, rendition of "Joy to the World".  



The "something else" is the video for "Mr Frosty Man".  Let's be honest, I'm not really linking it for Stevens' crunchy grungy tale of a man who's literally very cool (though it's a fun throw away song) - I'm really here for Lee Hardcastle's amazing claymation video that accompanies it. I'm a fan of Hardcastle's horrible and hilarious works, and this doesn't disappoint.  Anyone who's seen his remake of The Thing with Pingu knows roughly what to expect:

First of all, here's a little film for you, this time starring Tom Based and Tim Key. Two men try to survive in remote Lapland following a crash - the men in question being Santa, and his elf:

Anthony.

Meanwhile, here's your promised song:

Right then, something silly to start with.  Yes there are (multilingual) subtitles to contend with, but it's short, and fun, so I think you'll be fine.

An unexpected guest on Christmas Eve causes a sequence of strange twists and turns. And twists. And turns. And...you'll see.



OK, so that's set at Christmas, but it's not all that Christmassy. This, on the other hand, definitely is - like a couple of particularly wide eyed carol singers on the door step:

.

OK, we're almost there.

This is the last of the short films I'll be sharing, this one's written and directed by Douglas Hart of The Jesus & Mary Chain.  It's for all of you who will be away from a loved one this Christmas:



Meanwhile, here's the obligatory Christmas song:

 

Right.  So where this is where everything changes slightly. But before we get into that, here's your promised Christmas Song - no more carols I'm afraid, but a good old Christmas Classic:



The song seemed the obvious choice given it's from "A Christmas Gift for You" and that's exactly what the main surprise behind today's door is...

An explanation first though, as the link itself isn't inherently Christmassy.

Quite a while ago I put a post on the writer's thread saying I was writing a kids book for a friend, and posting the first chapter. Some of you were even kind enough to offer some comments on it. During lockdown I rediscovered that chapter, and finally got round to writing the rest of the book - given that I couldn't visit the kids to read it in person, I recorded me reading it for them. Since then I kept thinking I should share it on here, because some of you helped shape its existence, but then I kept chickening out. 

So when I decided to do this advent calendar, I thought I'd finally share it as a sort of collective Christmas present. (I appreciate that risks sounding unbelievably arrogant.). So here it is, a link to a Dropbox containing all 5 and a bit hours of "BanAnna".  The audio quality is roughly what you'd expect from a bloke who knows nothing about recording audio, taping him reading a book whilst a dog occasionally barks in the background. There's a toe curlingingly embarrassing bit at the start where I say "that's me!" after my name as if talking to a 4 year old (because I was)...  None of you are the original target audience for what would most generously be described as a silly romp. 

But...  I'm hoping it can provide a bit of entertainment for some of you at least - particularly if you're stuck doing long car journeys at Christmas. If nothing else you know what voice to read my posts in now.

So, without any further mucking about (and really hoping the Dropbox link works) here's

BanAnna

All being well, you'll be getting something a bit more B&B specific tomorrow.

Here we are then.  The final day.  Congratulations to anyone who managed to click on every reveal. We've had songs, movies, games and horrific trees. All that remains is to open the final door and see what waits inside.

As with yesterday I have a song, and a gift. Let's start with the song. Inevitably I'm going with my favourite Christmas song - "Just Like Christmas" by Low. Not only do I love it for its ability to capture the intangible nature of a good Christmas, but it seems a nice way to remember Mimi Parker, who sings it, and sadly passed away earlier this year:



Finally, without much further ado, here's my final present.  Yesterday's was something I'd made before, and simply hadn't shared. Today's has been created just for you lot, and just for this.  (I've been beavering away on it during every free moment over the last couple of weeks.)

It seemed appropriate, given the nature of the site, that I give you a game of some sort.  The only problem being that I don't know the first thing about making games. So I settled on a Christmassy Choose Your Own Adventure type thing, as that seemed relatively straightforward.

As a bonus incentive there are chocolatey prizes (it's an advent calendar after all). So, there's a prize for the first person to find the secret ending, and post in this thread the sentence spoken by the tin robot.  There's a second prize (because I'm worried that it's possible no-one finds that one) for the first person to find at least 20 endings. Each ending has a distinctive name given to it (like "The Shut Up And Let Us Play Ending") so be the first to list 20, and you win.

That's it.  I hope you've got some pleasure out of this little thread, and that the game provides a fun diversion. Here it is:

The Bear and Badger Christmas Adventure

Merry Christmas!