I concentrated on that area more yesterday.  See what happens.  Shall I get lawn feed?  Just sprinkle and then water or something?

Funkstain wrote:

...if your soil is anything like that of most of north east London (heavy clay) don't expect it to ever look that great

Yeah, tru dat.  Fucking clay.  I mean, Clay Hill is round the corner from us...

Thanks, Funk.  I'll stop worrying about it and just water plenty and feed occasionally.

That's where The Curse is strongest. 

You see, long ago before you lived in that house, there was another family. One day the youngest child was playing in the garden when they found a pinkish object sticking out of the ground. They tried to pull at it, but it was stuck to something below, so they pulled harder and eventually the item came free. 

The child took it inside to her mother, and said "mummy, mummy look what I found".

The mother turned to face her daughter and upon seeing the item she was carrying let out a scream, for her child was carrying a human toe. 

The police were called, of course, and they started to dig in the garden, searching for human remains, but none were to be found. Whatever was attached to the toe was not there. And yet, there was something curious about that garden, or rather there was *nothing* which in and of itself was curious.

No worms lived below the soil, no beetles, barely any roots, no mole tunnels. It was if the soil itself was completely barren.

That night as the girl laid in bed she lay awake wondering where the toe had come from. As she heard her mother move around downstairs she realised she had to use the bathroom. After doing so she started to walk back to her room, and that's when she saw it. Footprints on the 2nd floor hallway. 

Muddy footprints.

Clumps of clay-like soil.

The right footprint of each step missing the outline of a toe. 

The footprints lead to her room. To her door. The door which now was ever so slightly ajar. 

Downstairs, as her mother washed the dishes, a bump could be heard from upstairs, followed by what would almost sound like faint scratches - for only a matter of seconds - and finally a dull thump.

The mother turned her head and walked towards the staircase. 

She walked upstairs.

She walked up to the open bedroom door.

She saw an empty bed. She saw a bedside table covered in writhing earthworms. She saw clawmarks on the floor and walls, dozens of them , an impossible number. And she saw footprints.

Muddy footprints.

2 sets. One big, one small. Both missing a toe.

The girl was never found.

And that's why your grass won't grow properly.

Don’t want to lose that glorious post from Cinty or ride roughshod over everyone else’s posts but there’s only 2 reasons that turf is like that.
Either it was on its last legs when laid - fairly unlikely but if it had been lifted from the field a good few days before, and then sat around for a while, it can happen.

More likely is you haven’t watered enough. Especially with it being the end roll and in the brightest spot then it dries out quicker than the rest. It’s also the one that needs most watering as it’s only shuttered on the one side by the other turf AND you’re most likely to inadvertently underwater here as the hose sprays.
It hasn’t been down long enough for any soil or containments on your plot to bother it.

New turf should only ever be fed with a food that’s applied before the turf is laid and lightly raked in to the prepared bed. Do not, under any circumstances , apply surface applied food or weed and feed for a minimum of 8 weeks after it’s been installed. Ideally longer.

Tldr is you haven’t watered that bit enough. Soak it until that patch is sitting under water every evening and it should come back.

THANKS UNCLE!

We had to lay out scaffold planks (flipped and moved multiple times daily) around the garden to get to move the near constant sodding sprinklers around for at least 6 weeks? 2 months?
No foot was allowed to touch the sacred new green.

Few years down the road and it’s all now brown as shit.

*sigh gif*

Get Moot in to shit on your lawn.

We were also told to basically flood the bastard as well.

Trust in the Unc..

Yesterday was sunny and dry all day long, so I cut all the grass in the evening. Our garden, the paths in the meadow, the verges on our road, and then all the communal areas too - which adds up to quite a lot of grass. Three full tractor loads and three full lawnmower loads all on to the compost heaps.

And a fucking horsefly bit me on the knuckles. I look like I’ve been in a punch-up this morning, swollen knuckles a-go-go.

Horsefly landed on my wife's face on our last holiday. She got very lucky that it didn't bite her as she swatted it away.

Get yourself on YouTube, Elf. Mrs Poprock spent three months of furlough time watching gardeners on YouTube banging on about ‘no-dig gardening’ and now she’s genuinely brilliant at it.

Sure, ‘peppers’

Kow wrote:

Get Moot in to shit on your lawn.

I could help him lay some astroturf.

Yesterday I harvested more new potatoes, a cabbage, some broccoli, a gazillion red onions, garlic, peas and carrots. Allotment living is the life for me I think.

I spent about an hour on Friday digging dozens of those bastards out of my lawn.