You think I've gone quackers but you'll find them in any good Chinese supermarket in the frozen section. They're special occasion fare so you might find the bill a bit hefty.
Not overheard, but posting it here because it's a conversation I was made to have, and you're all sharing the pain with me.
I had to explain to a colleague at work that the reason he couldn't find Northern Ireland on our system's list of foreign countries is because it's part of the UK. I think I genuinely blew his tiny little mind.
For those with an open mind, wonders always await! - Kilton (monster enthusiast)
Got the mother in law round for dinner. Any time after 5.30 was request, so she's been here since 4.15. My daughter has two fish now - Gregg (from Night in the Woods) and Harold (the vulture from Eagle Heights), which nana hasn't seen. I've made a deep diver Kirby and an Ursula the Sea Witch out of clay to go in the tank with them. Just heard this from the other room:
"Nana look! It's Kirby, and nana!"
"Blasted cheek!"
Stuck in a cable car with some Yorkshire kids. One asked the other:-
“Would you rather watch your parents have sex or your parents watch you have sex?’
There was a similar-ish one in the overheard section of Time Out a couple of years ago. Something like "would you rather watch your parents have sex 100 times, or join in once to make it stop".
Having got off a rail replacement bus service at Swindon, only to have the next train to Paddington (which was already running 5 minutes late) close its doors and pull away just as we all reached the platform, one person asked one of the platform staff why they didn’t coordinate with the bus service. His response:
Colleague told me one from a Dead Cross gig last night, after someone in the front row clumped Mike Patton in the head when Patton was expecting to receive a high five. Patton: "don't make me fuck you up, because I will". He was dead cross, apparently.
Heard that before the 4th of July fireworks started. People have been bbq-en all day, and are just waiting for the fireworks to start. Someone joins the group next to us and tells that to her friends. Might have been the most American thing so far. Always bring an emergency burger!
“A mate of mine wrote a load of scripts for BBC and they was brilliant. You know that film fiddler on the roof well he wrote a comedy called kiddie fiddler on the roof. Was about a sex offender con who lived in a prison, broke out and lived on the roof and it had a view of a primary school.The bbc didn’t commission his script but they paid him £30 for the rights to the name.”