Which "normal"/"natural" aspects of the human experience are okay - The Bear and Badger

g.man

"shit-hat" ahahahaha

Moot_Geeza

The poo-bag tree thing happens a lot in my park. I think it's a slightly fudged version of picking a lost glove up off the floor and placing it on top of a hedge in case someone comes back for it.

Moot_Geeza

Gremill wrote:

Putting your dogs shit in a bag and disposing of it - Acceptable.

Hanging a bag of dogshit from a bush or tree branch - unacceptable.

What's the ruling on miming a pick-up if you've run out of bags but don't want to be spotted walking away from waste you'd clean up 99 times out of 100?

g.man

Mime is never acceptable behaviour.

Webbins

Acceptable, but only if you're wearing a striped top and possibly a beret.

Ignorance of held door etiquette is a ball flicker. If I hold the door, thank me, if you are going through the door first, have the courtesy to check behind you for others. In Webbins' Britain, a law would be passed whereby you are free to inflict pain on those who either don't hold a door, or don't give thanks when a door is held. This pain should involve the door in question for maximum impact.

hylian_elf

^this. I have given so many stares at work to people who don't thank me for holding the door open for them. Cunts. I'm not too fussed about someone holding open for me though. But I will thank them if they did.

My manager at work burps all the time loudly, but with mouth closed. I hate it. Mouth open or closed, you should control it and slowly let out gas without making sound. If I can do it, anyone can.

The Daddy

The sexual aspect of this question is an interesting one. Things that are considered perversions or taboo but are in essence natural urges are a curious thing, and something I'm sure Freudian types know something about.

My thoughts are that if everything's consensual and no harm or distress is caused then surely it's fine, although a bloke got introuble for trying to shag his bike, despite it being behind closed doors.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

Now like many weird sexual practices, bike shagging I don't really get, but surely this was not harming anyone until they broke in on him, or was that part of his plan?

afgavinstan

People that don't thank the bus driver as they get off should be shot.

Same with the people who press the stop button as it enters a fucking bus station.

Ooh, I like this thread. I work in retail. Expect many more.

[Deleted User]

Pushing in queues gets my blood boiling.

hylian_elf

People who chew gum or food in general with their mouth open, or make any sort of avoidable noise whilst eating/chewing, should get death sentence. No questions asked.

[Deleted User]

Bit harsh.

hylian_elf

I meant to add drinking to that. Slurping is punishable by death sentence too.

hylian_elf

SpaceGazelle wrote:

Bit harsh.

I may have exaggerated just a little bit. Should give you an idea of whether I dislike such habits or not though.

[Deleted User]

I don't mind bodily function, although the spitting in China can get a bit much.

LarryDavid

The sound of someone dredging up phlegm then gobbing it out always goes right through me. Ditto the wet slap of people walking in flip-flop's.

Webbins

afgavinstan wrote:

Ooh, I like this thread. I work in retail. Expect many more.

I could quite easily recount many from my time working in supermarkets. Being taken to task for my Yorkshire accent by a customer whilst on the tills in a Leeds Sainsbury's, being one that grinds my gears nearly twenty years later. Like every JS employee should have passed an elocution exam.

Diluted Dante

The Daddy wrote:

The sexual aspect of this question is an interesting one. Things that are considered perversions or taboo but are in essence natural urges are a curious thing, and something I'm sure Freudian types know something about. My thoughts are that if everything's consensual and no harm or distress is caused then surely it's fine, although a bloke got introuble for trying to shag his bike, despite it being behind closed doors. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm Now like many weird sexual practices, bike shagging I don't really get, but surely this was not harming anyone until they broke in on him, or was that part of his plan?

I don't understand how that is illegal.

GurtTractor

The cleaners should of knocked.

tigersgogrrr

Dante advocates bike sex WHAT DEPTHS WILL HE SINK TO NEXT?

Good thread. Will come back to it.

Skerret

GurtTractor wrote:

The cleaners should of knocked.

Ooh that's one for me.

The Daddy

tigerswiftly wrote:

Dante advocates bike sex WHAT DEPTHS WILL HE SINK TO NEXT?

Good thread. Will come back to it.

JonB

Webbins wrote:

Ignorance of held door etiquette is a ball flicker. If I hold the door, thank me, if you are going through the door first, have the courtesy to check behind you for others. In Webbins' Britain, a law would be passed whereby you are free to inflict pain on those who either don't hold a door, or don't give thanks when a door is held. This pain should involve the door in question for maximum impact.

See also: when driving, not giving sign of thanks after being let in at a junction.

Moot_Geeza

There's a hideously attractive girl at work who has been known to tut at colleagues holding doors open for her, as if it's just another example of the daily shit she has to put up with on account of her ridiculously good looks. She asked me how to raise her chair once, and I tried to leave it at an offish 'there's a handle on the right', but within seconds I was working the lever myself after she spun it round in expectation and lifted her dainty crotch off the seat in an odd crablike motion. Mug. She wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire, but if she did I'd probably mumble thanks.

Diluted Dante

I'd just say to her 'the word you're searching for is thanks'.

TheDJR

How hideously attractive?

Moot_Geeza

Cue my second out-dated girlband analogy in the past month: If she was in Girls Aloud at the height of their popularity, she'd be higher than at least three in coveted FHM top 100.

Moot_Geeza

Or alternatively, the second best Corr.

Moot_Geeza

Or the best Bewitched.

Yossarian

hylian_elf wrote:

Mouth open or closed, you should control it and slowly let out gas without making sound. If I can do it, anyone can.

Presuming that everyone has the same skills and abilities as you is a no-no as far as I'm concerned.

monkey

Yeah some people have really bad burping, flatulence, B.O., whatever and have a much harder time controlling it.
Some people just love farting and burping loudly in the workplace though.

Most issues to do with rudeness and selfishness should be resolved through meting out similar but much worse punishments. Someone plays shit music on a train through shit tinny speakers, make them listen to Bewitched for 24 hours in a locked room. Someone doesn't thank you for holding a door, all doors must then be subsequently slammed in their face. Someone farts too much on purpose, shit in their mouth etc.

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