Which "normal"/"natural" aspects of the human experience are okay - The Bear and Badger

dynamiteReady

Mobile communications technology generally, good.

Ambling about at the wheel or on foot along a busy street with a functioning mobile anywhere near your face is a hanging offence.

Park the fuck up, or stand aside.

Raiziel

monkey wrote:

Most issues to do with rudeness and selfishness should be resolved through meting out similar but much worse punishments. Someone plays shit music on a train through shit tinny speakers, make them listen to Bewitched for 24 hours in a locked room. Someone doesn't thank you for holding a door, all doors must then be subsequently slammed in their face. Someone farts too much on purpose, shit in their mouth etc.

Sensible policies for a happier Britain.

afgavinstan

There's a regular of ours that is possibly the worst-smelling person I've ever came across. He looks like Andre The Giant's swamp uncle, and leaves an actual scent behind him in the shop for a good few minutes. It's like cat piss and out of date milk, mixed in with a charity shop. To the power of FUCK.

I actually think he should be put down. Taken out back and cattlegunned to the next smelly life.

"Aw but that's a sin, Gav. He doesn't know! Maybe he doesn't have family or friends to tell him!"

Nope. Don't care. No sympathy. No excuse for lack of basic washing.

Moot_Geeza

afgavinstan wrote:

There's a regular of ours that is possibly the worst-smelling person I've ever came across. He looks like Andre The Giant's swamp uncle, and leaves an actual scent behind him in the shop for a good few minutes. It's like cat piss and out of date milk, mixed in with a charity shop. To the power of FUCK. I actually think he should be put down. Taken out back and cattlegunned to the next smelly life. "Aw but that's a sin, Gav. He doesn't know! Maybe he doesn't have family or friends to tell him!" Nope. Don't care. No sympathy. No excuse for lack of basic washing.

A guy I work with stinks so bad he's had to be spoken to, first by a colleague and then by management. There's nothing wrong with him except his 30 year skunk habit and extreme laziness (he's switched to hash on the loading bay though, times are a-changin' at work). I have no sympathy for him because he's been in prison for stealing a handbag (attached to a woman) and I had to retrieve a bottle of JD from his cupboard after he'd taken it off the desk of the person I'd given it to as a thank you. S'ok though, he was just looking after it.

hylian_elf

Yossarian wrote:

hylian_elf wrote:

Mouth open or closed, you should control it and slowly let out gas without making sound. If I can do it, anyone can.

Presuming that everyone has the same skills and abilities as you is a no-no as far as I'm concerned.

True. I shouldn't expect everyone to have the ability to see how great Half Life 2 is.

JonB

afgavinstan wrote:

There's a regular of ours that is possibly the worst-smelling person I've ever came across. He looks like Andre The Giant's swamp uncle, and leaves an actual scent behind him in the shop for a good few minutes. It's like cat piss and out of date milk, mixed in with a charity shop. To the power of FUCK. I actually think he should be put down. Taken out back and cattlegunned to the next smelly life. "Aw but that's a sin, Gav. He doesn't know! Maybe he doesn't have family or friends to tell him!" Nope. Don't care. No sympathy. No excuse for lack of basic washing.

I think every game shop has at least one of those.

Yossarian

hylian_elf wrote:

Mouth open or closed, you should control it and slowly let out gas without making sound. If I can do it, anyone can.

Presuming that everyone has the same skills and abilities as you is a no-no as far as I'm concerned.

True. I shouldn't expect everyone to have the ability to see how great Half Life 2 is.

Nor should I expect people to be able to write sentences that aren't complete nonsense.

GurtTractor

Skerret wrote:

GurtTractor wrote:

The cleaners should of knocked.

Ooh that's one for me.

Oops. M'pologies. I did look at that sentence when I posted and thought there was something wrong, but didn't bother taking a closer inspection.

Also, this - http://metro.co.uk/2014/06/05/serial-cucumber-masturbator-sentenced-after-being-recognised-in-library-4751905/

Escape

Skerret wrote:

GurtTractor wrote:

The cleaners should of knocked.

Ooh, that's one for me.

[space]
Yes.

Moot_Geeza wrote:

but within seconds I was working the lever myself after she spun it round in expectation

<tut>

Skerret

Escape wrote:

Skerret wrote:

GurtTractor wrote:

The cleaners should of knocked.

Ooh, that's one for me.

[space] Yes.

Moot_Geeza wrote:

but within seconds I was working the lever myself after she spun it round in expectation

N'aw git out of it.

You could do that sort of thing at my house Gonz, provided you were prepared to be lifted into the air via a clenched fist up the perineum at speed.

Escape

In yoot, me and a mate found these really heavy cushions in my dad's garage, so of course we gathered up enough material to afford purchase and battered the shit out of each other.

Anyway, it became customary to shout 'UPPY!' with every uppercut. He once caught me with a belter, but couldn't follow-up for laughing as I fell on my arse in a hedge. Great days.

[Deleted User]

I'm toying with the idea of shitting myself and then visiting Gav's shop to talk to him at length about whether I should invest in Just Dance 2014. I might even break out some moves.

wonderbanana

JonB wrote:

afgavinstan wrote:

There's a regular of ours that is possibly the worst-smelling person I've ever came across. He looks like Andre The Giant's swamp uncle, and leaves an actual scent behind him in the shop for a good few minutes. It's like cat piss and out of date milk, mixed in with a charity shop. To the power of FUCK. I actually think he should be put down. Taken out back and cattlegunned to the next smelly life. "Aw but that's a sin, Gav. He doesn't know! Maybe he doesn't have family or friends to tell him!" Nope. Don't care. No sympathy. No excuse for lack of basic washing.

I think every game shop has at least one of those.

CEX employs shop fulls of em and even has the cleaners spray their odour around before the doors open I think.

TheDJR

CEX smells of withdrawal.

Escape

Brodour.

hylian_elf

There's a guy on the train sitting opposite me, chewing gum with open mouth and making lots of noise. I so badly want to stab him in the face. My dirty looks at him don't seem to be working.

GooberTheHat

Throw a little tiny ball of paper into his gob.

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