Oafhood - The Bear and Badger

davyK

Spock wrote:

I rarely burp without using the offending gaseous expulsion to form the word "bollocks".

When doing that I have habit of saying "yeeeeuppp" like some large anthropomorphic toad. In my defence that's when I am alone.

I am of the firm belief that all males if left to their own devices for long enough will turn into Homer Simpson. Some might take longer for it to happen - but it will.

davyK

Ever tripped and broke into a run to prevent yourself from falling?

I did that once right in a busy city centre - I must have ran for a good 20-30yds with my chin about 2 ft from the ground with my arms aeroplaning, my full length lightweight raincoat billowing behind me, before I retrieved my balance - at which point I realised I had run the length of a parked coach that was now filled with highly amused passengers.

Brooks

pantyfire wrote:

Brooks wrote:

I just tripped over myself in a crowded place. It was too severe to fool anyone into thinking it was a wee jig.

Ha Ha look at the clumsy gaijin. You just made some asian dudes day.

As long as someone is happy.

mistercrayon

Thumb coordination honing causes actual limb atrophy.

Skondo

pantyfire wrote:

Are any of you in control of your own bodies? I'm not clumsy at all. The wife is a surprisingly heavy stepper for someone that is about 8 stone. And she is guaranteed to knock something over late at night, in fact the later the hour the louder the thing is she knocks over. WITHOUT FAIL. This drives me mad.

What loud things has she knocked over? A particularly jolly pair of trousers perhaps?

Brooks

Gonzo wrote:

Who knew an activity requiring some skill in hand eye coordination would be a hub for the maladroit

I had my suspicions innit.

superflyninja

davyK wrote:

Ever tripped and broke into a run to prevent yourself from falling? I did that once right in a busy city centre - I must have ran for a good 20-30yds with my chin about 2 ft from the ground with my arms aeroplaning, my full length lightweight raincoat billowing behind me, before I retrieved my balance - at which point I realised I had run the length of a parked coach that was now filled with highly amused passengers.

I did that once after jumping over a wall. The kicker was I eventually fell and skinned my forearm quite badly. Which then went septic.

Skerret

If you takes a tumble, best bet is to lie there for a few moments. Scrambling to your feet is so undignified.

Bollockoff

superflyninja wrote:

I did that once after jumping over a wall. The kicker was I eventually fell and skinned my forearm quite badly. Which then went septic.

superflyninja

I approve.

pantyfire

Skerret wrote:

pantyfire wrote:

some asian dude

You mean Japanese?

Don't start this again.

Lord_Griff

It's a slippery slope.

mk64

big fan of the word oaf and ogreloaf

nick_md

Love seeing people look back at the ground after stumbling in an attempt to absolve them from responsibility for the stumble, "stupid ground!" when 90% of the time it's pyar oafishness. May have read that from someone here, but it's true.

I myself am like poised like a ibex.

dynamiteReady

indigo wrote:

I'm not generally good with instructions/tasks unless they primarily involve thinking.

Funnily enough, I'm good with menial shit, but whatever... My concession to badgery, is that write well enough (though I correct myself a fair amount), but I mumble like that dude in Dick Tracy, and when heated, swear like a total cnut. I literally make Irishmen blush with my curse rate. It's like a cogent form of Tourettes (or as near as).

I'm Irish and find that outmoded and patronising simile genuinely offensive. We don't curse any more than any other race on these rainy islands.

Lol!

I have a mate who likes to play about with the fact that he's Irish, and he makes a point of this constantly.

My mum's old neighbour was from northern Ireland, and used to curse like a witch.

One chick I used to date, marketing exec I think (i.e. will spend a large part of most days not swearing), she use to swear a bit, especially when driving. Blamed it on heritage.

I can see where all those "I have a *insert race here* mate" qualifiers for racial epithets come from now! : P

[Deleted User]

I once fell 60ft down a tin mine in Cornwall. Quite often, hangovers tend to get me in more trouble than the pissed part.

dynamiteReady

SpaceGazelle wrote:

I once fell 60ft down a tin mine in Cornwall. Quite often, hangovers tend to get me in more trouble than the pissed part.

That's fucked up! Are you serious?

davyK

dynamiteReady wrote:

indigo wrote:

I'm not generally good with instructions/tasks unless they primarily involve thinking.

Funnily enough, I'm good with menial shit, but whatever... My concession to badgery, is that write well enough (though I correct myself a fair amount), but I mumble like that dude in Dick Tracy, and when heated, swear like a total cnut. I literally make Irishmen blush with my curse rate. It's like a cogent form of Tourettes (or as near as).

I'm Irish and find that outmoded and patronising simile genuinely offensive. We don't curse any more than any other race on these rainy islands.

Lol!

I have a mate who likes to play about with the fact that he's Irish, and he makes a point of this constantly.

My mum's old neighbour was from northern Ireland, and used to curse like a witch.

One chick I used to date, marketing exec I think (i.e. will spend a large part of most days not swearing), she use to swear a bit, especially when driving. Blamed it on heritage.

I can see where all those "I have a *insert race here* mate" qualifiers for racial epithets come from now! : P

Whilst many of us do swear quite a bit (and I believe our accent is great for it, especially for saying bastard with the drawn out first "a") I don't believe we do more than others though. Have met many a fine cusser from all regions.

superflyninja

@davyk you an Irisher as well?

Skerret

Lord_Griff wrote:

It's a slippery slope.

-_-

Paul the sparky

Lacist.

GooberTheHat

Until all this dust up about Clarkson I had no idea that slope was a derogatory term for people of oriental descent.

davyK

superflyninja wrote:

@davyk you an Irisher as well?

Aye. Belfast native. Apart from a year in Great Malvern as a student (industrial placement in the MOD research facility there) I have lived there all my life.

dynamiteReady

davyK wrote:

@davyk you an Irisher as well?

Aye. Belfast native. Apart from a year in Great Malvern as a student (industrial placement in the MOD research facility there) I have lived there all my life.

See Indigo, my bigotry is actually bringing people together...

Perhaps I should target another ethnic group... ~_~

...

No... No... I know where the door is... : P

[Deleted User]

dynamiteReady wrote:

SpaceGazelle wrote:

I once fell 60ft down a tin mine in Cornwall. Quite often, hangovers tend to get me in more trouble than the pissed part.

That's fucked up! Are you serious?

Yep. My Mum went mental when she read it in the papers. I thought it'd be best if I didn't tell her but hey ho.

Dark Soldier

I tried to inhale the smoke off a fire we had going in the back garden early one morning after an all night session and running out of cigs. I was saved from falling in after swaying like a loon by my more sober mate. Woke up with half an eye brow. Well worth it.

GooberTheHat

Ha, I tried to smoke the dried scrapings of the inside of a banana peel once after some poor advice.

superflyninja

davyK wrote:

superflyninja wrote:

@davyk you an Irisher as well?

Aye. Belfast native. Apart from a year in Great Malvern as a student (industrial placement in the MOD research facility there) I have lived there all my life.

Top o the mornin squire!

Funkstain

I drink at lunchtimes on a Friday and become insulting, condescending (even more!) and ungraciously impatient.

davyK

superflyninja wrote:

davyK wrote:

superflyninja wrote:

@davyk you an Irisher as well?

Aye. Belfast native. Apart from a year in Great Malvern as a student (industrial placement in the MOD research facility there) I have lived there all my life.

Top o the mornin squire!

Ah Jaysus....sure it's yourself.

Went into a restaurant steaming drunk once in a group - may have been a stag event in Galway or somewhere similar - we had spotted a chum through the window and we thought it would be rude not to go in and say hello.

I'm told I was practically sitting on a neighbouring guy's shoulder/dinner (reports differ) as I stood with my back to him speaking to said chum. When it was pointed out to me I did have the decency to apologise profusely and briskly and then leave...

Howdy, Stranger!

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