Pictures thread. It has pictures in it. - The Bear and Badger

Blue Swirl

ZMM wrote:

I do hate that meme art, but it makes a good point.

DrewMerson

Blue Swirl

"We're shit, and that's funny" is the bedrock the internet was built on.

yourfavouriteuncle

Are these the equivalent to those bad food pics that used to get posted?

Brooks

That's a good analogy.

davyK

Actually....the first quote (Rollercoaster Tycoon) is wrong. Assembler is hardware dependant. PC assembler won't run on Mac for example. It's why we have compilers.

OK - he probably means most machines wrt specifications (ie PCs), but I should get out more.

The main issue with modern dev is the use of engines and frameworks. Nothing is built from the ground up , so there is always a compromise re performance. But wrt to productivity and cost, especially with the size of modern AAA games, using engines is the only feasible way.

LivDiv

The real issue with that meme is that historically there was plenty of total shite churned out that we were expected to part money with and be happy about it, no patches or day one fixes.
You bought Wayne's World on the snes, you deal with it.

Wasnt there a Turtles game where they didnt finish it so just made a jump impossible and shipped it.

davyK

Plenty of shite - especially in the 8bit micro era.

The licenced 16bit crap was bad too. But - anyone daft enough to think a licenced game was going to be any good deserved it. I avoided them as a general rule.

nick_md

LivDiv wrote:

The real issue with that meme is that historically there was plenty of total shite churned out that we were expected to part money with and be happy about it, no patches or day one fixes. You bought Wayne's World on the snes, you deal with it. Wasnt there a Turtles game where they didnt finish it so just made a jump impossible and shipped it.

I think the ZX port of Turtles had an impossible jump, but that was lazy porting I think rather than a cut and run.

LivDiv

davyK wrote:

Plenty of shite - especially in the 8bit micro era. The licenced 16bit crap was bad too. But - anyone daft enough to think a licenced game was going to be any good deserved it. I avoided them as a general rule.

Ah but you were a bit older.
Much easier to snare us young kids.

davyK

Suppose so. I can remember inwardly screaming at people looking at a licenced game box in the shop and saying "that looks good" Showing the box front to someone as if that was all that was needed to justify buying it. £50 a pop too for SNES.

Looks good? Does it fuck.

davyK

nick_md wrote:

The real issue with that meme is that historically there was plenty of total shite churned out that we were expected to part money with and be happy about it, no patches or day one fixes. You bought Wayne's World on the snes, you deal with it. Wasnt there a Turtles game where they didnt finish it so just made a jump impossible and shipped it.

I think the ZX port of Turtles had an impossible jump, but that was lazy porting I think rather than a cut and run.

Typical of that fucking hateful 8bit micro era. The absolute dross that was put out on those shitty machines. Almost put me off gaming for good that...

I have very few fond memories of tape loading, overly ambitious ports (inc. fucking multi-load) and just fucking awful game design. Jet Set Willy, Thrust and Chuckie Egg are the only games I'd even consider going back to now.

Diluted Dante

LivDiv wrote:

Wasnt there a Turtles game where they didnt finish it so just made a jump impossible and shipped it.

There's definitely a Spectrum game that did this, but I can't recall what it was. Thought it might be Jet Set Willy, but apparently that's a bug that corrupts the game.

monkey

I think the turtles thing is the DOS port of the NES game. The US version had a missing platform that made a jump impossible. Fixed for the European version.

The rest of the game was there though as there's a cheat that lets you bypass that sewer altogether. It was just a fuck up.

davyK

Diluted Dante wrote:

LivDiv wrote:

Wasnt there a Turtles game where they didnt finish it so just made a jump impossible and shipped it.

There's definitely a Spectrum game that did this, but I can't recall what it was. Thought it might be Jet Set Willy, but apparently that's a bug that corrupts the game.

There's a bug in original JSW which was fixed in later versions. I think there was a POKE that fixed the original too. I played the CPC464 version (JSW-2 The Final Frontier) which had the bug fix and more levels. I got a bit obsessed with it and had it mapped out on a piece of A2 paper.

davyK

monkey wrote:

I think the turtles thing is the DOS port of the NES game. The US version had a missing platform that made a jump impossible. Fixed for the European version. The rest of the game was there though as there's a cheat that lets you bypass that sewer altogether. It was just a fuck up.

The NES version has a bit were a jump over a narrow gap in the sewers is impossible - but you don't need to jump - you just need to walk over it! Fooled a lot of people at the time.

I put some hours into that game - could get to the final section with all lives and weapons to the max but could never get past one section right before the final boss (learnt that from a playthrough video)- turns out all I had to do to avoid the flying enemies firing lasers was to duck under the laser!!!

That fucking game and Battletoads really got under my skin. Was close to the end of Battletoads too when I gave up !

monkey

Yep I remember it. Took a lot of lives working out how to do that one. It's quite early on as well iirc.

davyK

Was rare for me to buy a licenced game (esp. a kids licence - was in my 20s in the NES era) but the reviews were good - I picked it up cart only cheap. Got some value out of it.

Moot_Geeza

Even as a Turtlemad youngster the NES TMHT didn't quite tip the balance in Nintendo's favour when I was trying to decide on which console to ask for. I think the LCD game might've put me off. Turtles 2 on NES is great though.

davyK

I was able to beat Bart v Space Mutants back then. But Turtles 1 and Battletoads did me.

I also got the final section of Solar Jet Man - massive game. There's a final section when you assemble the "golden warp ship" - a supposedly massively powerful craft ..... which has a single peashooter laser flying forward and I had to navigate an asteroid field - never got past that bastard bit even with the pile of lives I got there with. Bastard game.

davyK

So after sitting for a couple of hours playing through a gravity shooter you get this shitty hori section in a new ship.

Even using passwords it would only plonk you at the start of the final level which was enormous -30mins at least to navigate it - to get this fecking bit...

<edit> Just remembered - you only had ONE FUCKING GO AT THIS. Lose and it put you back to the start of the final level again. FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!!!!!

davyK

Troll-bastards.

g.man

I got stressed just watching that.

monkey

I bought a NES specifically because it had a Turtles game. It came bundled. I know opinions are mixed about it but it was bad if you ask me. I never really learnt with licensed games. Helpfully, the industry changed and they started making less of them. Some of them are mint though. Others were perfectly cromulent for the time.

davyK

That Turtles game was too hard for the target audience. It required a fair bit of dedication to get far into it. I'm not sure why it got to me to be honest but I enjoyed it. I knew my route inside out. But the characters were badly balanced - the only one that was any use was the one that used the staff. I only used the others as cannon fodder to get to an energy powerup for the staff user.

Moot_Geeza

I bet I couldn't do it but at least that Solar Jetman footage looks less unfair than a lot of 8-bit games.

davyK

Moot_Geeza wrote:

I bet I couldn't do it but at least that Solar Jetman footage looks less unfair than a lot of 8-bit games.

I'd agree there. What's annoying about that final sequence is that it's so out of kilter with the rest of the game which is an excellent gravity shooter / explore-em-up. One of the best games on the NES in my opinion.

Had I been playing a lot of Gradius or equivalent at that time it would have been OK but you can't even get to practice it. The "one try and go back 40mins" if you fail is just stupid. You can't even turn it around to shoot behind you.

It would have been better to finish with a real cruel gravity course to navigate.

There are tougher games on NES - mentioned Battletoads but Solomon's Key is a balls hard game while still being a good game.

There was a game on the CPC464 called Cauldron which was a complete cunt of a game. Was a pity because it was quite a nice hori-shooter / accurate platformer but Christ was it unfair.

krs

yourfavouriteuncle wrote:

Are these the equivalent to those bad food pics that used to get posted?

superbum food damn yeah

[/b]

krs

(it wasn't me, btw)

Paul the sparky

I hope you're feeling better after that

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