g.man wrote:

Luke: Hello Rey.
Rey: I never told you my name in the previous films.
Luke: Facebook?
Rey: stalker!

LivDiv wrote:

Luke: Hello Rey

Rey: How are you here, how is this possible?

Luke: The Force is a series of medichlrians that run through our bodies, that bind and empower us. Using a medichlorian detector device made of a lady shave and silver spray paint it is possible to determine the power of anyone in the galaxy who is force sensitive. There was once a great Jedi named Kev Obada who learnt how to control all his lady shaves and combine them to detect medichlorians in the blood of another Jedi named Obo Bonobo Boh. In the year CX BBY Obo Bonobo Boh could fully understand this power but had turned to the dark side so in the year CX BBYX Lans Choromo a powerful Jedi, used a mind trick to crash Obo Bonobo Boh's skiff into a coral of Dewbacks, killing him.
CX BBYX passed as did CX BBX and CX BBBX until Bo Bonobo Boh returned in the form of a powerful Jedi named Kal Anakanako and hid himself on the spice moon of Tanka.
Many Jedis died to bring me the information but eventually a bounty hunter named Dando Fett provided me his lightsaber. The very same lightsaber you found and returned to me that I threw over there.
Upon removing Bo Bonobo Boh's very powerful lightsaber crystal I ground it into bantu paste and learned his secrets to force resurrection.

Armitage_Shankburn wrote:

Dark Soldier wrote:

Is that the hat that does the Jedi mind trick that convinces people these films are actually any good?

No that's Chodo Bahat, named after the very powerful Ithorian jedi who had a third eye tattoo on what everyone thought was his forehead, but which those in the know realised was his reproductive organ.