1- do not shake the box
2- the gifts are individually wrapped so he can open them
3- the small box is not to be stored next to a source of heat such as a radiator
4- the larger gift is not to be sat on
5- do not open in the presence of a naked flame
6- the card can be opened but not between the hours of 7am and 7pm
7- please repeat step 4
8- you must only open the larger of the gifts third
9- you may open the larger of the gifts first if in the presence of a small child
10- you may not open the smaller gift if in the presence of a small child or a dog
11- unless that child is yours
12- the smaller gift can be opened second if the larger gift is opened first but not without consuming an alcoholic beverage.
14- please recycle appropriately
15- do not under any circumstances ignore step 13.
16- following the faith of Buddhism is not necessary for the enjoyment of the gifts.
E- do not drink and drive
18- please post photos of you enjoying the 4th box.
19- there is no 4th box
20- if you’re still reading just ignore this bollocks and open everything on Christmas Day and enjoy.
Yossarian wrote:@Dinostar77: your package is posted, should be with you tomorrow. You can open the package but be careful with it as the contents are fragile. Your Santa also provided the following instructions:1- do not shake the box 2- the gifts are individually wrapped so he can open them 3- the small box is not to be stored next to a source of heat such as a radiator 4- the larger gift is not to be sat on 5- do not open in the presence of a naked flame 6- the card can be opened but not between the hours of 7am and 7pm 7- please repeat step 4 8- you must only open the larger of the gifts third 9- you may open the larger of the gifts first if in the presence of a small child 10- you may not open the smaller gift if in the presence of a small child or a dog 11- unless that child is yours 12- the smaller gift can be opened second if the larger gift is opened first but not without consuming an alcoholic beverage. 14- please recycle appropriately 15- do not under any circumstances ignore step 13. 16- following the faith of Buddhism is not necessary for the enjoyment of the gifts. E- do not drink and drive 18- please post photos of you enjoying the 4th box. 19- there is no 4th box 20- if you’re still reading just ignore this bollocks and open everything on Christmas Day and enjoy.
Yossarian wrote:@afgavinstan: your Santa says you may open the card if you wish, however, it will give away the type of present that number 2 is, but there’s a reasonable chance you’ll have worked that out anyway. Your call.
Do
Orientate the box as marked.
Do not
Open box before Christmas.
Shake the box.
Block the ventilation holes.
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