It's not the size of it really thats daunting. But it's there as a reminder that something is not right with this place at all.
Its looks like the box from the forum but the sign isnt an lcd display. Its almost like the sign itself has been made to look like an LCD. But its just a very well made 6ft high sign.
Like everything else on this place.
Very well made indeed.
'hey g.man, how about some ribs?'
g.man shoots round to see @fullspectrum standing there holding a pot ahead of him.
'You're late to the party, would have thought as a seasoned traveller you would have been up Journey Mountain by now.' and he smiles as he takes the lid off the pot and offers g.man some of the contents.
The smell is glorious and g.mans taste buds whimper a little.

'I don't feel hungry and I don't do hills, unless there is a train involved' g.man says.
He looks up in the sky towards the centre of the island.
Yup.
Its aptly named. He almost wonders how many times @raiziel has scaled to the top in the last couple of days. Probably got a massive scarf from under that tree as well.
'You need to come back to the house, they have everything there. I just walked in the kitchen and the ribs were waiting to used. this place is...'
'perfect, yes I know'
'fullspectrum?'
'yes mate?'
'what the actual feck is going on here?'
'Dunno, but I'm enjoying every last minute of it, you should go see @brooks, he's up at Lordran Castle with @curtis, @jonb and @acemuzzy. @subbax and @regmcfly might still be up there, I was just taking some food up to them while they take part in some Taurus Demon ass kicking. Hungry work, see ya!'
fullspectrum jogs off back to the direction of the house leaving g.man reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his top pocket.
Best fags in the world.

Fucking Hell.

Its getting dark. How did it get so late? Because.
You know why.
Everyone else knows why as well.
Everyone is having fun.
Stop talking to yourself.
Cheer up.
Stop complaining.
I'm not.
Then who is..

It was getting dark. g.man realised he had been walking while he was thinking, and smoking while he was thinking and almost walked in the sea. He turned round and saw that the tree was a fair distance away.. (though he didnt know how, his knee was still giving him a bit of grief ) Journey Mountain? yeah we all know what happens at the end of that little trip, dont we?.
He stopped and listened to the sea gently kiss the beach and realised that he had stopped near a rock.
@plan_m was leaning against the rock holding on tight to a very small bear, looking out to the sea.
'I hate this place. i'm missing my boy's first christmas, i fell asleep lying next to him and my missus and I woke up here. So i'd like to wake up now. thanks, oh Hi g.man, how's things?'

'fine, I'm going up to see the boys at Lordran castle, you coming?'
'Nah, I'm going to stay here I think, I'm cool, Its just, well I miss him. I got this for him'
He went to show g.man the teddy, but somehow the fabric of the bear got caught in the badge and as he presented it, he had pulled the badge from his top.
He said nothing else. Just stood there with a smile on his face.

Plan M? Plan M?!
HELP!!. Fuck sake someone help

ya know - in weaker moments - I have thought of having 2 copies of certain games.....crap.

Many things don't help running fast.
Smoking before running is not a good idea.
Having a beer is not a good idea either.
Watching someone go from moving to being incredibly still very suddenly and creating a bit of a shock in you is not good either.
g.man ran as fast as he possibly could which meant he might have been quicker walking.
The gates to Lordran Castle lay wide open and g.man rushed through as quickly as he could.
He stopped, leaned over and spat up a lungful before yelling.
'HHHHHHH'
which wasn't exactly help.
but close enough to attract the attention of several not really very nice creatures.
'HHHHHHH....oh..fuck...sake...'

Something pushed him down to ground and he looked up to see, well lets just say it was pretty messed up looking, had swords and there were about 4 of them. Standing behind them was a huge animal on two legs with a massive club and curly horns.

Someone shouted, 'get up the ladder and drop attack!'
'no not you @regmcfly'
'circle round boys'
'regmcfly, just stand behind @curtis for flip sake'
' @acemuzzy, pyro the one on the left'
'Watch out for the back stab!'
'Argh, I'm down to 47!'
'Use an estus'
' @jonb nice work! Watch for that swing!'
@regmcfly - behind you man'
And there was a bellow, and some smashing and g.man covered his head with his hands.

'Wait, he thought, this isn't real, this is bullsh...
He felt something burn and stab into his right leg and almost cried out in pain'
68
It was then like some slowly turned the volume down on the telly.
57
'take him down'
37
'cover g.man fuck sake'
22
' @regmcfly will you get off that fucking ladder!!'
10
until silence...


g.man woke up as someone was sitting him up, and giving him a drink from a glass. The red blur around his vision slowly vanished and the number in his vision rose up until it was back at 100.

The man that had held the glass to his lips had the familliar badge on his chest.
'hi, my name is... @brooks'
'g.man, you never did get into this game did you? You're lucky @Subbax was spamming Soul Arrows or that Taurus demon would have stomped on you.'
Brooks hair was short, clean shaven and accept for the blood across his face, you would have mistaken him for some kind of high powered businessman.
'good battle there boys, regmcfly, I do believe you've finally nailed that drop attack, though you should apologise to jonb.'

g.man suddenly remembered what had caused his haste.
'plan M @brooks - somethings happened to him!' and then the strangest thing happened..

Brooks had changed,
 his hair was now darker and longer and he sported a goatee.
No one really knows what you look like, do they Brooks, thought g.man..

' @tin_robot is with Plan M now. We are moving him to the house.'
'Will he be ok?'
'He's kind of on pause I guess, Its the best way to describe it.'
'Can he be helped at all?'
'Lets get you down to the plane at least, you can rest there and we will have a chat.'

g.man felt surprisingly well and his leg seemed to have completely healed already. He really needed to give Dark Souls a shot when he got back home.  for a second, he forgot exactly where that was..
He needed to sit and get a coffee though.

As they walked past the sign, near the tree,
Plan M's status changed to offline.

IT'S LIKE REVEL IS IN MY HEAD.

Fuck a goatee.

well this is better than Lost so far...

....as g.man woke he realised it was all a dream.

So far I'm heavily offended I'm not involved. Can't I be the shopkeeper from RE4 selling you shit from HMGAV?

I look forward to me and the ladder getting married

'first of all' said @brooks, 'the island seems to be themed around what the badgers like and love in the gaming world', 'you can pretty much get access to either play or be part of any game, and the island is big enough to cope with anything you want or need' He ran his fingers through his permed blonde mullet as he said this, adding volume.
The lights on the tree were still blazing away. And g.man noticed that underneath seemed to be stacked with more presents than when he had just been there. One of the packages looked like a very well wrapped ladder, g.man guessed it was for @regmcfly. he also wondered how many times the ladder joke was going to be brought up before it got tired. The answer was clearly the first time, as it was already tired...

'though there also seems to be parts of the forum here as well.'
'like what?' asked g.man
'there's a toolshed for building stuff which is awesome for starters, the NSFW club, the developers lounge, just pretty much somewhere for the badgers to go and get involved.'
At this point they were reaching the plane where g.man had woken up on. The lights had been switched off and it now looked a lot smaller than before.
'hmm, its been open for the last couple of days, i wonder why it looks shut down now'
'This all seems quite weird and too serious brooks'
'If you were expecting comedy, then you are in the wrong story, though i can try'
Brooks fell over and landed into a well placed custard pie.
'Is this any better?' he said as he removed custard and cream from his eyes..
'not really, i was expecting more clever wording, phrases, well constructed gags, that was just slapstick' '
'I'm going to have change this mullet now, you realise'
'well, every cloud Brooks, every cloud'

' Hmm, the plane door looks shut too, Let's continue on to the house instead g.man.'

While they had been talking, it had started to get light again, and the waves were again creeping up the beach.

The time is all wrong here. Or its all over the place to allow badly thought out storytelling and poor continiuity. I guess if you dont like it then maybe you should write a story completely off the cuff? no? Thought so... as you were..

'What happened to Plan M, what's with the badges?' asked g.man

Brooks never answered because at this point @moto70 came running out the water with a pile of shark skins over his shoulder and a very angry @skerret hobbling after him with a large knife sticking out his leg and a bloody wound on his hamstring area..
'you great big cheating gallah!' said @skerret in a completely stereotyplical manner.
'why did you have to suggest i get fucking stabbed so you could win you git'
'its an open thread! you should have said something.... LOSER!'

And with that @moto70 ran towards the house. Skerret, stopped, looked at brooks and g.man, pulled the knife out of his leg. He then blurred slighly? Was that it? the wound and the blood seemed to completely vanish..
Skerret smiled and took off in the direction of moto70, yelling c'mere you possum or something those type of people would say.

'you can't get hurt? or die?' said g.man.
'well you can get hurt, getting stabbed with a 12inch hunting knife will hurt, but this is the Far Cry 3 beach, so all the rules of that game apply. Skerret just needed to concentrate enough to heal himself.
And if he had died, you just respawn at the house.' 'Up at Lordran castle, you just needed an estus flask, its all game based.'
brooks continued.
'If you think about it, you never really fully die in any game, you can start an new game, or load a saved game or respawn at a check point. but you never really stop playing if you want to'
'starting or finishing a game isnt the problem'
'its when you press pause and stop where things seem to fuck up here.'
'The badges seem to keep you from pausing by wearing them. As to what really happens to you when you pause? Well, we don't know yet, you just seem to be here but not really...its horrible.' said Brooks.
'And its been happening more and more'

They stopped for a second while g.man lit a cigarette. The building they where next to looked like a small church, but the stain glass windows were smashed and the furniture was lying on the grass that surrounded the building.
'Thats the home of the God Thread. Was busy at the beginning but got out of hand. Now only @facewon goes there occasionally.'

'you had a lot of dialogue Brooks'
'well, i've been here since the beginning of the maroonum and so it made sense that i know a whole pile of stuff'. It also helps to explain more of the plot as well'
'some people are not going to be happy they haven't had any story time yet and i've been here just as long so why am I all ignorant?'
'shush now g.man, we are here at the house, and @afgavinstan is in the next bit'


Its not a house
Its not even a House.
Its more like a HOUSE...

You guys realise this is basically all canonical now.

I advised brooks last night I would mullet him up..

There was still a glimmer of hope when I clicked on this.  Good old plornt.