Funkstain wrote:

I always thought it was 6 foot father

I haven't really thought about this but maybe making everyone in the world "smarter", like give them more cognitive ability.

Then making them more empathetic - not like, a huge amount, so we all turn into girly men, but a bit more sensitivity towards our fellows and environments.

Finally the invention and open-sourcing of a safe, non-weaponisable nuclear fusion technology to provide the world's energy needs forever, cleanly.

I thought it was 6 foot baller or taller.

Still got my health and the ability to learn anything very, very quickly.

I'll be out of here in a jiffy on a technicality and then filling my account back up because of the things I have developed for the benefit hippies and shit...

I wish for the midus touch, but everything I touch turns sexier, except kids and my Mum.

Funkstain wrote:

I haven't really thought about this but maybe making everyone in the world "smarter", like give them more cognitive ability.

Then making them more empathetic - not like, a huge amount, so we all turn into girly men, but a bit more sensitivity towards our fellows and environments.

Finally the invention and open-sourcing of a safe, non-weaponisable nuclear fusion technology to provide the world's energy needs forever, cleanly.

Such noble wishes. :'(

I wish to be able to have sex with anyone ever at the click of my fingers.

M0stly harm13ss wrote:

Liveinadive wrote:

I wish for the midus touch, but everything I touch turns sexier, except kids and my Mum.

You are arrested and imprisoned for attempting sex with the front gate. In prison, you are beaten to a sexy pulp for attempting to mount 'Big Frank' in the Breakfast queue.

It was sexy worth it.

I wish I was a star.

Not famous or anything, literally a star. How's that for consequences?

Yes, but so do you, and everything else on this planet.

This guy is UNSTOPPABLE

I wish to BECOME A GIANT ENEMY

You get a virus, now everytime you close your eyes you see this...

I wish for a brain version of avast

I wish to oversee the game mechanics of MAriokart wiiu

mk64 wrote:

I wish to oversee the game mechanics of MAriokart wiiu

You have a useless development team who, despite your best efforts, are unable to implement any of your ideas and who end up making such a broken, shoddy mess of a game that Nintendo immediately shelves all future instalments in the franchise and you become known by all Nintards as 'The Man Who Killed MarioKart'.

I like this game.

I wish that this place never dies.

Aw that's sweet. Unfortunately, the PS3 doesn't only never break, it can never be turned off as the potential for breaking when turning something on or off is far too high to risk. It sits there sucking on electricity and running up Davie's bills. Owing to the fact that it's constantly renewing itself to stop itself from breaking, the electricity usage starts to go up and up and up. Eventually, Davie pulls the plug only to discover that it has some form of inductive charging that can draw power from the plug sockets even when not plugged in. Unfortunately, it's so massively inefficient that doing so sucks every last drop of power from the national grid. People on life support die in their thousands as Davie desperately tries to plug the PS3 back in in the dark. Eventually he manages it and breathes a sigh of relief without pausing to consider the size of the electricity bill that's about to bankrupt him.

@Rev, obviously.

GooberTheHat wrote:

I wish I as as good at football as Gareth bale, christiano ronaldo and Lionel messi combined, and that I was as healthy as I was when I was 18.

Initially the whole football thing works out quite nicely.  Your skills gain you massive, and widespread fame.  You're earning more per day, than the rest of the country combined.  Quickly however, your new found fame results in increasingly obtrusive attention from the media.  You milk this too at first, revelling in your success.  Soon however you can't have a conversation with a woman without it being front page news.

This, however, is nothing.  Such scrutiny means that your failure to get old, or ill, cannot go unnoticed.  The world cottons on to the fact that somehow, you never get older.  Rumours abound - you've discovered some new drug, you're a magician, an android.  The Government, and various criminal organisations make it clear they will do almost anything to get to know your secret.

You spend most of your fortune trying to conceal your identity, finally managing to wipe all trace of your identity, and undergoing major reconstructive surgery.  You remain, however, a hunted man.  A recluse.  You struggle to scrape by, your assumed identity is quickly leaked by those you had paid to keep it secret, and before long you are forced to live rough, your suffering compounded by the memory of the amazing life you once, fleetingly, enjoyed.  You have no transferable skills, football is all you are.  There is no hope for employment.  You are unable to trust another human being, convinced that They are watching and looking for you always.  Life is a living hell from which you, 18 for ever, can never escape.