OH-OH Shudda listened to BIG MOMMA JONB and TEMPY DO-DO. I gunna bought it! Here's my HOT HOT take!

Character creation is SUPER NICE!!! But then things take a slippy slide downhill fast. EVERLASTING TUTORIAL! leaves you feeling numb-numb. Fable-esque narrator translating all the time for npcs is a SUPER RETARDED move. Switchy off double quick time, but no option to! DOH!

Pity cos it runs slinky smooth on PS4 with hardly any CHUGGA-CHUGGA. And the world looks SUPER LUSH! Shame the old-ones never had time during their 5 years to make the combat feel less like trying to hit someone with a WET KIPPER!

Hopin' the lootin' and the makin' stuff bits help me forget I spent 55 big ones on a game where you can survive a tummy-tumble from any height but then DROWN IN A PUDDLE!

To be fair things have improved markedly since it began throwing loads of nice loot at me. Now got a electrified saw blade and a napalm shotgun which is making the combat far more fun. Although I hear once you reach higher levels the loot drops start plateauing out with a inability to find better gear later on. Boy, they certainly have their work cut out to patch this into shape. If it can be that is. It's a bloody shame because the general art direction is at times pretty spiffy.