Paul the sparky wrote:This went downhill rapidly:
Spoiler:You are Dilbert, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching for fled to. Suddenly, you hear a scream.
You approach the source of the scream and find a young woman in a night gown. She screams again when she sees you.
> You say "It's ok, I'm a police detective!"
You are immediately transformed into a brain-addled doormat.
> You say "What the fuck?"
The woman looks at you with glazed eyes and begins to purr. She runs her hands up and down your body.
"Ah... this is heaven..." she sighs.
> You say "Transform me back into my normal self please"
"Oh yes, yes, yes..." she says and starts taking off her gown.
Her voluptuous body is covered with scars and needle marks. It's obvious that she has been through hell and back again.
"Please... turn me back..." she says and grabs your head with both hands.
Suddenly, a deafening noise is heard and you feel like your brain has been exploded. The world goes black and you fall to the ground, dead.
FranticPea wrote:Paul the sparky wrote:This went downhill rapidly:
Spoiler:You are Dilbert, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching for fled to. Suddenly, you hear a scream.
You approach the source of the scream and find a young woman in a night gown. She screams again when she sees you.
> You say "It's ok, I'm a police detective!"
You are immediately transformed into a brain-addled doormat.
> You say "What the fuck?"
The woman looks at you with glazed eyes and begins to purr. She runs her hands up and down your body.
"Ah... this is heaven..." she sighs.
> You say "Transform me back into my normal self please"
"Oh yes, yes, yes..." she says and starts taking off her gown.
Her voluptuous body is covered with scars and needle marks. It's obvious that she has been through hell and back again.
"Please... turn me back..." she says and grabs your head with both hands.
Suddenly, a deafening noise is heard and you feel like your brain has been exploded. The world goes black and you fall to the ground, dead.
Wtf
Gremill wrote:Just had they longest every mystery story. It went on for ever, in a kind of meta way.TL;DR - turns out I'm Satan.Spoiler:You are Arnold, a patient living in Chicago. You have a hospital bracelet and a pack of bandages. You wake up in an old rundown hospital with no memory of how you got there. You take a look around the room and see it filled with other old broken down beds and instruments. The only other person in the room is an old broken down orderly who gives you a creepy smile. "You're new here kid" > You say "Don't call me kid, you old fart. I'm Arnold, your worst nightmare" The old man just smiles and says: "I know who you are kid, and I know what you did." "What I did? > You say "Yeah, yeah, I'm a ghost and O started a fire and killed all these other dufuses. Never mind that, have you got any cocaine?" The man shakes his head. > You say "Well, your of no use to me then. Laters dickwad!" You turn to leave but the man calls out to you. "I'm not done talking to you." You turn to the old man again who looks like he's about to cry. > You say "Jesus suffering fuck. What is it?" > You say "Go on then, spit it out old timer!" The man turns his wheelchair so that he is facing you and begins to roll towards you. > You say "Hey, hey that's close enough Ironside. Whatchoowant?" He reaches out for your hand and grasps it firmly. "I want you to remember kid..." You feel his grip strengthen and then... nothing. The old man gets up from his wheelchair and walks over to the window. He sighs heavily and places his hand on the glass. Suddenly the window shatters sending glass flying everywhere. A second later, a siren begins to blare loudly. People begin to shout and run into the hallway. > You tackle the old man out of the window. You sprint out of bed and towards the old man who is struggling to climb out the window. He laughs weakly as he climbs onto the windowsill before collapsing out of view. "See ya later kid." > You jump out of the window after the old man. You jump out of the window and hit the floor running towards where you think the nearest exit is. The alarm is still blaring but you manage to find the emergency exit door and open it up. > You run through the door. As you reach the door, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. In front of you is a hallway filled with other patients, all rushing in the opposite direction. > You follow the patients. You start walking down the hallways beside the other patients. Suddenly a wave of dizziness hits you causing you to stumble. You try to steady yourself but you're having a difficult time seeing straight. The next thing you know, you trip over something and everything goes black. > You wake up. You wake up in a large waiting room. The first thing you notice is how numb you feel all over. The second thing you notice is that all the people in the room are wearing hospital gowns. > You talk to other patient. One woman sitting in a chair near the corner of the room notices you waking up and immediately gets up to talk to you. "Hey are you okay?" "Yeah...I think so..." > You say "Where am I?" She points at the television mounted on the wall behind her. On the TV is a news anchor reporting on a plane crash that killed all on board. Television screens across the room are showing the same news story. > You say "Ok. So I take it I'm dead then." "Yes, but aren't you a little worried?" You sit up and take notice of your surroundings more carefully. > You say "Why would I be worried? I'm dead!" She sits back down and her eyes appear to get larger as she realizes that she may have misjudged your response. "So, do you think we'll ascend then? > You say "You might, but I've got a one way ticket to hell baby! " She sits back and exhales deeply. Then after another moment, she speaks again. "Well then, let's get down to business....Do you want to go to heaven?" > You say "Heaven? With all those fluffy clouds, dudes in halos and Christians? Nah mate, I'd rather hang out with Hendrix and Joplin - the devil had all the best tunes." She frowns at your response and exhales again. Then after another moment, she speaks again. "Well then, do you want to go to hell? > You say "Already been there mucker. It's called 'Sunderland Vs Hull' in February." "Well, do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and saviour and go to heaven or do you refuse and go to hell?" she asks. > You say "Jesus? Black dude with a beard?" She nods solemnly and then continues. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" > You say "What happens if I go to heaven then? Please tell it isn't like songs of fucking praise all day." "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks again. "Can't I just stay here and enjoy myself instead?" > You say "Jesus saves, but it's the lack of interest that kills you." She looks at you blankly before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the third time. > You say "Look pal, I'm not going to answer that until you tell me more about heaven." She bites her lip nervously and exhales before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the fourth time. > You say "Are you malfunctioning or something? I'm not going to answer that until you give me a bit more information. What will I do in heaven?" She pauses for a moment before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the fifth time. > You get up and change the TV channel to MTV. You change the channel to MTV and immediately start dancing and singing along to some music channel. The patient smiles and joins in for a bit before sitting back down to wait patiently again. > You say "So, what's hell like?" She pauses for a moment as she tries to think of an answer. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" > You say "I think I might already be in hell, with your incessant and boring line of questioning." She looks shocked by your response before bursting into laughter. She shakes her head repeatedly before smiling again. She reaches out and grabs your hand briefly as she speaks. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the first time. "Well, will you be there?" > You say "Yes, ok, I accept jeebus. Fucking hell mate, you really don't give up do you?" "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the second time. "Can I ask why? > You say "Why what?" She exhales deeply and smiles at you warmly. "Why is there pain in hell?" she asks. "Because..." you think for a moment, "because god said so?" > You say "There is no God, only man and the evil that exists in all of our hearts. " She pauses for a moment as she thinks over your words. She sighs heavily before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" > You say "Refuse!" She nods solemnly before speaking once more. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the final time. > You sit on the woman. The woman lets out a startled yelp before smiling. She leans forward and kisses you on the lips passionately before getting up from the chair. "Welcome to the family," > You shriek at the top of your voice for as long as possible, whilst punching yourself in the ear. As soon as you make contact with yourself, a sharp ringing noise pierces your eardrum causing you to scream out in pain and fall to the floor holding your ear. > You say "Mummy! She touched my safe space!" Your mother walks out of her bedroom rubbing her eyes and looking very tired. As soon as she sees what has happened she lets out a startled yelp before running over to you and picking you up off the floor. > You say "What are you doing here mummy? Are you dead too?" She shakes her head as she laughs nervously. "No sweetie, I'm fine. Just really tired is all." She sits down in her chair and gently strokes your hair as you lay your head against her shoulder. > You piss yourself. As soon as you feel the warm liquid run down your leg, a dark feeling comes over you as memories flood your mind. Your mother laughs nervously once more as she continues stroking your hair. > You shit yourself. As soon as you feel the warm liquid run down your leg, a dark feeling comes over you as memories flood your mind. Your mother laughs nervously once more as she continues stroking your hair. "I love you," > You say "Where am I?" She turns her head slightly to the side and smiles at you reassuringly. "You're at my house darling." Her smile begins to falter as she looks away from you, rubbing her eye. > You examine her eye. As she turns back towards you, her eye catches yours, a bright red blood vessel stands out against the white of her eye. You reach up and touch the side of her face gently. "I love you too." > You say "Where am I really?" She swallows hard as she tries not to cry, but fails miserably as a single tear falls down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away with her palm. "You're in my house, with me." > You say "No I'm not, this isn't your house. What is going on?" She shakes her head rapidly from left to right, trying to smile through her tears. "No, no, no...it'll be alright." She pauses for a moment, trying to compose herself, before continuing. "Do you want to know a secret?" You nod silently, as she begins to whisper... "We're not in our house." She takes a deep breath, attempting to compose herself. "We're in mine, and we're going to my brother's house." Her voice becomes much louder as she addresses you directly once more. "We have to stay there for a while." > You say "What's your secret woman? Out with it!" She shakes her head repeatedly, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly. "I can't." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's too embarrassing. > You say "Tell me, or so help me God I'll never speak to you again" She laughs bitterly and pauses for a moment. "... Alright, but don't blame me if you end up like Father Féval." She takes a deep breath, before beginning in a much more normal tone. "My name is Claire LeRouge, but my friends call me 'Cecilia'." She pauses again before continuing. "I'm nineteen years old, and I live in the town of Hornsdale." She takes a deep breath, building up courage for what comes next. "I have... deformed horns." > You say "What. The. Fuck." She nods her head slowly as she admits it. "Yeah, it's true. I got them when I was little, and they've only gotten worse since then." She laughs bitterly at her misfortune. You step away from Cecelia, shaking your head and crying. "You're not my mother?" You ask. Cecelia shakes her head furiously from side to side. "No! God no! I'm definitely not father Féval!" She pauses for a moment before continuing. "I think... I might be half demon." "Half... demon?" You ask, unsure of how to respond. "Are you some sort of abomination?" "I don't think so," she says. > You say "Then what am I?" She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. "I don't know." She looks at you intently, trying to read your thoughts. "... You don't feel like one?" "I don't know," you admit. > You summon flaming pitchfork of abbadon. Cecelia looks around nervously before leaning closer to you. "... Be careful." > You throw pitchfork into TV. Cecelia looks around again, breathing a sigh of relief when she hears the remote hit the wall and not you. "There's no way out of here is there?" She asks worriedly. > You say "Please! Sends me to hell!" "You don't have a soul." It's not a question. You look at Cecelia with disgust before standing up and walking away from her. "I wish I was dead. > You look around. You walk over to the window and look out of it. It's difficult to see much through the snowfall, but you think you can see the road ahead leading up to the mansion where the other survivors are waiting. > You walk to mansion. You put your foot on the first stair and begin to trudge up it, covered by snow halfway up the stairs. > You run up the stairs. You take the stairs four at a time and manage to reach the hallway just as the flames begin to consume the house. Looking around desperately you begin to shove people out of your way and force them towards the front door. > You kick the door down. The door slams open as you push the survivors forward, who are reluctant to leave until you make them feel threatened. Before you can get them moving however, the fire overtakes the house and consumes it completely. > You cower in fear. You hide under a table and wait for the fire to go out, but the heat burns your skin and prevents you from going any further. > You peel skin off. Your flesh begins to bubble as you try peel it off to get relief, but soon give up in despair. > You teleport to beach. You appear right next to Jarek who looks extremely scared, expecting a fight anytime now. You pat him on the shoulder reassuringly to reassure him that you aren't here to fight. > You say "I think this game might be broken." He shakes his head violently and holds up his metal finger, indicating that he's not done yet. "What are you doing?" You ask suspiciously. "Swearing." > You say "Go on then" Jarek quickly spins around and stabs you through the chest with a large knife that looks like an oversized bayonet from a rifle. > You say "That's a bit rude mate." You collapse to the floor with a pained grunt, Jarek finishes you off with another stab through the chest for good measure. > You fart. You pass out forever and ever and ever... > You wake up. You open your eyes and find yourself still alive, thank god. You sit up and notice that you're in a small prison cell, with a number of others who are also still alive and shackled to the wall. > You say "Where am I?" A man with a thick Russian accent appears in the doorway. > You say "Where am I?" He shakes his head angrily before responding. "You are in the realm of Hell." Well that answers your question then. > You say "I thought so. Well, it could be worse I suppose." The man shakes his head once more before exiting the room. Shortly after he shuts the door you hear the clinking of keys and claws on the other side of your cell door as it's unlocked. > You say "What fresh hell is this?" You stand up and walk over to the door, opening it slightly and peering out into the hall beyond. Two demonic looking creatures stand there, blocking your exit, and staring at you intently. > You say 'Sup my dudes? Nice claws man. Is there anywherei can get a decent coffee around here?" They stare at you in silence for a moment before one speaks up, its voice sounding like a low growl. "What are you?" > You say "Me? I'm your lord and master Satan. I'm here in a sort of 'Secret Boss' type deal, checking out customer service and things like that " They both laugh loudly and draw their swords, which let out sparks due to some sort of magical property, obviously. > You say "Whoah there horny!" They slash at you repeatedly, though they are slow enough that you easily dodge their swings by stepping inside the cell doorway. > You kick the demon in the balls and grab a sword. You rush out of the cell with your sword drawn, ready to finish off the pair of them. > You behead the demons. You run over to one of the dead demons and quickly hack its head off with one clean swing of your sword, no easy feat with such large horns protruding from its head. > You look around. You wait patiently outside your cell for several minutes, when you begin to feel faint and dizzy. > You free the prisoners. You sit slumped against the wall, catching your breath, as a dozen or so people slowly begin filing out of their cells, all of them free. A couple look relieved, but most just look exhausted. > You run down the corridor. You see a door at the end of the corridor, next to it there is a stack of keys. > You kick the door down. You head down the stairs in a daze, not really paying attention as you attempt to unlock the door with the keys. > You unlock the door. The door slowly opens as a wave of smoke wafts out into the hallway. The stairwell is filled with smoke, you cough as you attempt to open the door wider and step outside into fresh air. > You go outside. You look around and take in some much needed fresh air, several seconds later you begin to feel slightly better. Several people stand outside smoking and conversing, most look relieved to have escaped their cells but one figure stands out. > You approach the figure. He wears a long black cloak and hooded black robe, his face covered by a mask with a long snout and yellow eyes. He looks up briefly at you before speaking in a low raspy voice. "Do not approach, you are not of this world." He says in an authoritative tone not unlike a TV chef. He stares at you intensely for several seconds before turning back to his conversation. > You push the figure in the back. He turns around to face you and grabs your hand, pulling it towards his mouth. He bites your index finger hard and let's go, raising an eyebrow. > You grab his hand and bite his index finger. He smiles at you through the mask as he bites your finger again. "It seems we are kindred spirits." He glances at your finger and then at you before smiling again. > You kiss the figure. The figure takes off its mask and gets very close to you. > You headbutt the figure hard in the face. The figure's face is pushed away from your face as it slumps lifelessly to the ground, blood seeping out of its head wound. > You take the cloak and mask and put them on. After putting on the mask and cloak you're suddenly transported back outside the cell block where several people watch you in awe and surprise. > You say "KNEEL BEFORE ME, PUNY MORTALS" Several people fall to the ground immediately while others begin running away. "Ahh! It worked! He's back!" One of the figures shouts as they begin praying to the Dark Lord. > You reign over hell for eternity. You walk up to the kneeling figure and crush his skull under your heel, "Rise mortal." You demand. "Know who you have insulted." Several more mortals quickly begin worshipping you as their god, others... Well they're less welcoming.
FranticPea wrote:Time travel adventures are my latest thingSpoiler:You are Tim, a survivor trying to survive in a world filled with infected zombies everywhere. You have a pistol and a backpack. You have managed to survive several months avoiding zombies and scavenging food. You cautiously enter a rundown store and hear noises. You see a man shambling behind the counter and a second man fast asleep in a chair. You grab the man standing and knock him out. He has a familiar look about him and has green skin. > You create an interdimensional gate by combining the pistol and backpack and travel to prehistoric times. You pull out the pistol and fire. The bullet creates a small portal of whirling colors, sucking you into another dimension. You fall through the portal and into the distant past. > You look around. You are in a land of dust and stone, far from the comforts of modern civilization. There is no life here. Suddenly, you are approached by a furry, four armed creature.
GurtTractor wrote:Gremill wrote:Just had they longest every mystery story. It went on for ever, in a kind of meta way.TL;DR - turns out I'm Satan.Spoiler:You are Arnold, a patient living in Chicago. You have a hospital bracelet and a pack of bandages. You wake up in an old rundown hospital with no memory of how you got there. You take a look around the room and see it filled with other old broken down beds and instruments. The only other person in the room is an old broken down orderly who gives you a creepy smile. "You're new here kid" > You say "Don't call me kid, you old fart. I'm Arnold, your worst nightmare" The old man just smiles and says: "I know who you are kid, and I know what you did." "What I did? > You say "Yeah, yeah, I'm a ghost and O started a fire and killed all these other dufuses. Never mind that, have you got any cocaine?" The man shakes his head. > You say "Well, your of no use to me then. Laters dickwad!" You turn to leave but the man calls out to you. "I'm not done talking to you." You turn to the old man again who looks like he's about to cry. > You say "Jesus suffering fuck. What is it?" > You say "Go on then, spit it out old timer!" The man turns his wheelchair so that he is facing you and begins to roll towards you. > You say "Hey, hey that's close enough Ironside. Whatchoowant?" He reaches out for your hand and grasps it firmly. "I want you to remember kid..." You feel his grip strengthen and then... nothing. The old man gets up from his wheelchair and walks over to the window. He sighs heavily and places his hand on the glass. Suddenly the window shatters sending glass flying everywhere. A second later, a siren begins to blare loudly. People begin to shout and run into the hallway. > You tackle the old man out of the window. You sprint out of bed and towards the old man who is struggling to climb out the window. He laughs weakly as he climbs onto the windowsill before collapsing out of view. "See ya later kid." > You jump out of the window after the old man. You jump out of the window and hit the floor running towards where you think the nearest exit is. The alarm is still blaring but you manage to find the emergency exit door and open it up. > You run through the door. As you reach the door, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. In front of you is a hallway filled with other patients, all rushing in the opposite direction. > You follow the patients. You start walking down the hallways beside the other patients. Suddenly a wave of dizziness hits you causing you to stumble. You try to steady yourself but you're having a difficult time seeing straight. The next thing you know, you trip over something and everything goes black. > You wake up. You wake up in a large waiting room. The first thing you notice is how numb you feel all over. The second thing you notice is that all the people in the room are wearing hospital gowns. > You talk to other patient. One woman sitting in a chair near the corner of the room notices you waking up and immediately gets up to talk to you. "Hey are you okay?" "Yeah...I think so..." > You say "Where am I?" She points at the television mounted on the wall behind her. On the TV is a news anchor reporting on a plane crash that killed all on board. Television screens across the room are showing the same news story. > You say "Ok. So I take it I'm dead then." "Yes, but aren't you a little worried?" You sit up and take notice of your surroundings more carefully. > You say "Why would I be worried? I'm dead!" She sits back down and her eyes appear to get larger as she realizes that she may have misjudged your response. "So, do you think we'll ascend then? > You say "You might, but I've got a one way ticket to hell baby! " She sits back and exhales deeply. Then after another moment, she speaks again. "Well then, let's get down to business....Do you want to go to heaven?" > You say "Heaven? With all those fluffy clouds, dudes in halos and Christians? Nah mate, I'd rather hang out with Hendrix and Joplin - the devil had all the best tunes." She frowns at your response and exhales again. Then after another moment, she speaks again. "Well then, do you want to go to hell? > You say "Already been there mucker. It's called 'Sunderland Vs Hull' in February." "Well, do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and saviour and go to heaven or do you refuse and go to hell?" she asks. > You say "Jesus? Black dude with a beard?" She nods solemnly and then continues. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" > You say "What happens if I go to heaven then? Please tell it isn't like songs of fucking praise all day." "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks again. "Can't I just stay here and enjoy myself instead?" > You say "Jesus saves, but it's the lack of interest that kills you." She looks at you blankly before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the third time. > You say "Look pal, I'm not going to answer that until you tell me more about heaven." She bites her lip nervously and exhales before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the fourth time. > You say "Are you malfunctioning or something? I'm not going to answer that until you give me a bit more information. What will I do in heaven?" She pauses for a moment before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the fifth time. > You get up and change the TV channel to MTV. You change the channel to MTV and immediately start dancing and singing along to some music channel. The patient smiles and joins in for a bit before sitting back down to wait patiently again. > You say "So, what's hell like?" She pauses for a moment as she tries to think of an answer. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" > You say "I think I might already be in hell, with your incessant and boring line of questioning." She looks shocked by your response before bursting into laughter. She shakes her head repeatedly before smiling again. She reaches out and grabs your hand briefly as she speaks. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the first time. "Well, will you be there?" > You say "Yes, ok, I accept jeebus. Fucking hell mate, you really don't give up do you?" "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the second time. "Can I ask why? > You say "Why what?" She exhales deeply and smiles at you warmly. "Why is there pain in hell?" she asks. "Because..." you think for a moment, "because god said so?" > You say "There is no God, only man and the evil that exists in all of our hearts. " She pauses for a moment as she thinks over your words. She sighs heavily before continuing. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" > You say "Refuse!" She nods solemnly before speaking once more. "Well then, do you accept him as your saviour or refuse and go to eternal torment in the depths of hell?" she asks for the final time. > You sit on the woman. The woman lets out a startled yelp before smiling. She leans forward and kisses you on the lips passionately before getting up from the chair. "Welcome to the family," > You shriek at the top of your voice for as long as possible, whilst punching yourself in the ear. As soon as you make contact with yourself, a sharp ringing noise pierces your eardrum causing you to scream out in pain and fall to the floor holding your ear. > You say "Mummy! She touched my safe space!" Your mother walks out of her bedroom rubbing her eyes and looking very tired. As soon as she sees what has happened she lets out a startled yelp before running over to you and picking you up off the floor. > You say "What are you doing here mummy? Are you dead too?" She shakes her head as she laughs nervously. "No sweetie, I'm fine. Just really tired is all." She sits down in her chair and gently strokes your hair as you lay your head against her shoulder. > You piss yourself. As soon as you feel the warm liquid run down your leg, a dark feeling comes over you as memories flood your mind. Your mother laughs nervously once more as she continues stroking your hair. > You shit yourself. As soon as you feel the warm liquid run down your leg, a dark feeling comes over you as memories flood your mind. Your mother laughs nervously once more as she continues stroking your hair. "I love you," > You say "Where am I?" She turns her head slightly to the side and smiles at you reassuringly. "You're at my house darling." Her smile begins to falter as she looks away from you, rubbing her eye. > You examine her eye. As she turns back towards you, her eye catches yours, a bright red blood vessel stands out against the white of her eye. You reach up and touch the side of her face gently. "I love you too." > You say "Where am I really?" She swallows hard as she tries not to cry, but fails miserably as a single tear falls down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away with her palm. "You're in my house, with me." > You say "No I'm not, this isn't your house. What is going on?" She shakes her head rapidly from left to right, trying to smile through her tears. "No, no, no...it'll be alright." She pauses for a moment, trying to compose herself, before continuing. "Do you want to know a secret?" You nod silently, as she begins to whisper... "We're not in our house." She takes a deep breath, attempting to compose herself. "We're in mine, and we're going to my brother's house." Her voice becomes much louder as she addresses you directly once more. "We have to stay there for a while." > You say "What's your secret woman? Out with it!" She shakes her head repeatedly, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly. "I can't." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's too embarrassing. > You say "Tell me, or so help me God I'll never speak to you again" She laughs bitterly and pauses for a moment. "... Alright, but don't blame me if you end up like Father Féval." She takes a deep breath, before beginning in a much more normal tone. "My name is Claire LeRouge, but my friends call me 'Cecilia'." She pauses again before continuing. "I'm nineteen years old, and I live in the town of Hornsdale." She takes a deep breath, building up courage for what comes next. "I have... deformed horns." > You say "What. The. Fuck." She nods her head slowly as she admits it. "Yeah, it's true. I got them when I was little, and they've only gotten worse since then." She laughs bitterly at her misfortune. You step away from Cecelia, shaking your head and crying. "You're not my mother?" You ask. Cecelia shakes her head furiously from side to side. "No! God no! I'm definitely not father Féval!" She pauses for a moment before continuing. "I think... I might be half demon." "Half... demon?" You ask, unsure of how to respond. "Are you some sort of abomination?" "I don't think so," she says. > You say "Then what am I?" She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. "I don't know." She looks at you intently, trying to read your thoughts. "... You don't feel like one?" "I don't know," you admit. > You summon flaming pitchfork of abbadon. Cecelia looks around nervously before leaning closer to you. "... Be careful." > You throw pitchfork into TV. Cecelia looks around again, breathing a sigh of relief when she hears the remote hit the wall and not you. "There's no way out of here is there?" She asks worriedly. > You say "Please! Sends me to hell!" "You don't have a soul." It's not a question. You look at Cecelia with disgust before standing up and walking away from her. "I wish I was dead. > You look around. You walk over to the window and look out of it. It's difficult to see much through the snowfall, but you think you can see the road ahead leading up to the mansion where the other survivors are waiting. > You walk to mansion. You put your foot on the first stair and begin to trudge up it, covered by snow halfway up the stairs. > You run up the stairs. You take the stairs four at a time and manage to reach the hallway just as the flames begin to consume the house. Looking around desperately you begin to shove people out of your way and force them towards the front door. > You kick the door down. The door slams open as you push the survivors forward, who are reluctant to leave until you make them feel threatened. Before you can get them moving however, the fire overtakes the house and consumes it completely. > You cower in fear. You hide under a table and wait for the fire to go out, but the heat burns your skin and prevents you from going any further. > You peel skin off. Your flesh begins to bubble as you try peel it off to get relief, but soon give up in despair. > You teleport to beach. You appear right next to Jarek who looks extremely scared, expecting a fight anytime now. You pat him on the shoulder reassuringly to reassure him that you aren't here to fight. > You say "I think this game might be broken." He shakes his head violently and holds up his metal finger, indicating that he's not done yet. "What are you doing?" You ask suspiciously. "Swearing." > You say "Go on then" Jarek quickly spins around and stabs you through the chest with a large knife that looks like an oversized bayonet from a rifle. > You say "That's a bit rude mate." You collapse to the floor with a pained grunt, Jarek finishes you off with another stab through the chest for good measure. > You fart. You pass out forever and ever and ever... > You wake up. You open your eyes and find yourself still alive, thank god. You sit up and notice that you're in a small prison cell, with a number of others who are also still alive and shackled to the wall. > You say "Where am I?" A man with a thick Russian accent appears in the doorway. > You say "Where am I?" He shakes his head angrily before responding. "You are in the realm of Hell." Well that answers your question then. > You say "I thought so. Well, it could be worse I suppose." The man shakes his head once more before exiting the room. Shortly after he shuts the door you hear the clinking of keys and claws on the other side of your cell door as it's unlocked. > You say "What fresh hell is this?" You stand up and walk over to the door, opening it slightly and peering out into the hall beyond. Two demonic looking creatures stand there, blocking your exit, and staring at you intently. > You say 'Sup my dudes? Nice claws man. Is there anywherei can get a decent coffee around here?" They stare at you in silence for a moment before one speaks up, its voice sounding like a low growl. "What are you?" > You say "Me? I'm your lord and master Satan. I'm here in a sort of 'Secret Boss' type deal, checking out customer service and things like that " They both laugh loudly and draw their swords, which let out sparks due to some sort of magical property, obviously. > You say "Whoah there horny!" They slash at you repeatedly, though they are slow enough that you easily dodge their swings by stepping inside the cell doorway. > You kick the demon in the balls and grab a sword. You rush out of the cell with your sword drawn, ready to finish off the pair of them. > You behead the demons. You run over to one of the dead demons and quickly hack its head off with one clean swing of your sword, no easy feat with such large horns protruding from its head. > You look around. You wait patiently outside your cell for several minutes, when you begin to feel faint and dizzy. > You free the prisoners. You sit slumped against the wall, catching your breath, as a dozen or so people slowly begin filing out of their cells, all of them free. A couple look relieved, but most just look exhausted. > You run down the corridor. You see a door at the end of the corridor, next to it there is a stack of keys. > You kick the door down. You head down the stairs in a daze, not really paying attention as you attempt to unlock the door with the keys. > You unlock the door. The door slowly opens as a wave of smoke wafts out into the hallway. The stairwell is filled with smoke, you cough as you attempt to open the door wider and step outside into fresh air. > You go outside. You look around and take in some much needed fresh air, several seconds later you begin to feel slightly better. Several people stand outside smoking and conversing, most look relieved to have escaped their cells but one figure stands out. > You approach the figure. He wears a long black cloak and hooded black robe, his face covered by a mask with a long snout and yellow eyes. He looks up briefly at you before speaking in a low raspy voice. "Do not approach, you are not of this world." He says in an authoritative tone not unlike a TV chef. He stares at you intensely for several seconds before turning back to his conversation. > You push the figure in the back. He turns around to face you and grabs your hand, pulling it towards his mouth. He bites your index finger hard and let's go, raising an eyebrow. > You grab his hand and bite his index finger. He smiles at you through the mask as he bites your finger again. "It seems we are kindred spirits." He glances at your finger and then at you before smiling again. > You kiss the figure. The figure takes off its mask and gets very close to you. > You headbutt the figure hard in the face. The figure's face is pushed away from your face as it slumps lifelessly to the ground, blood seeping out of its head wound. > You take the cloak and mask and put them on. After putting on the mask and cloak you're suddenly transported back outside the cell block where several people watch you in awe and surprise. > You say "KNEEL BEFORE ME, PUNY MORTALS" Several people fall to the ground immediately while others begin running away. "Ahh! It worked! He's back!" One of the figures shouts as they begin praying to the Dark Lord. > You reign over hell for eternity. You walk up to the kneeling figure and crush his skull under your heel, "Rise mortal." You demand. "Know who you have insulted." Several more mortals quickly begin worshipping you as their god, others... Well they're less welcoming.
This is so good, top lols. I just have one question for you -
Spoiler:Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and saviour and go to heaven or do you refuse and go to hell?
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