Secret Australian Business
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  • Well, since the sport thread is really the football (soccer) thread, and since I don't want to trawl through pages just to find skerret, I figure a thread for AFL should go here.

    I'll get to the current season and chats with skezzer shortly, but in the interests of general ignorance:

    The game is played on an oval. Four posts at each end. 6 points for a goal (kicking the ball between the big sticks in the middle) and 1 point for a behind, kicking the ball between the littler sticks. Oval ball, a little "ovaler" than a rugby ball. 18 players per side on the field at any one time. 3 players who can be interchanged at any stage, unlimited number of times, plus one sub, soccer style.

    The ball is bounced in the middle at the start of play or after a goal. There's a circle in the middle that the ruck men (tall guys) have to be within for the tap (this circle was introduced to stop knee injuries). Only 4 players per side in the centre square at the bounce. After that, players can go wherever the fuck they like. There are positions, like full back, full forward, centre half forward, but the way the game is played these days, it's not clear cut, with no off side or the like, many tactics have been tried and blended, from zones, sweepers, floods, rolling zones, man on man, huddles and everything in between.

    player-positions.jpg

    To pass the ball by hand you have to hit it out of one hand with the closed fist of the other. To have a mark paid (ie, to catch a kick and be able to slow down play and go back and take a set kick) the ball must have traveled 15 metres. Every 15 steps you must bounce or touch the ball on the ground.


    Free kicks sit somewhere between rugby union and basketball in physicality. And if you know what's going on with holding the ball this year, you're doing better than me.

    And now on to the current stuff.

    It appears to me that it's Collingwood's premiership to lose.
    Sydney are being pretty super, but are, in this current form, a little untested.
    West Coast need some luck with injury.
    Geelong will probably make the finals, but their golden age is over. At least for this season. There's enough youth coming through that they may be back and up the ladder by next year though.
    Essendon need to start winning against good sides. But they're on the rise.
    Hawthorn are weird again.

    After tat, it's also-rans ahoy.
    What say you skezzer? And others of course. I'm pretty sure there's a Crows man floating around this place somewhere.
    I'm still great and you still love it.
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    Good summary.  To add, the AFL's rep for punch-ons is no longer warranted.  If that was your thing, look to the 70s.

    Re: current stuff, I'd say that's more or less spot on.  Geelong are cooked, yes.  We were unfathomably shite on Friday. Joel Corely appears to have had his limbs replaced with broomsticks.  Scott is no fool though; we've had ten players debut this season and all have shown promise.  They'll be indoctrinated into his style of play and we'll see how he really coaches.  Look for us again in 2014.  If Hawkins magically starts kicking straight, look for us in the finals.

    Unsure on Collingwood.  They've got the wins and they've got the right age and experience profile to legitimately win it (the 2010 GF is a weird one, St Kilda really should have won and the draw worked for Collingwood) this time, but a lot depends on what Sydney and West Coast do.  If they storm home and take spots 1 and 2, I doubt anyone else will get a look in and it will be 2005/6 all over again.

    Essendon have a serious test next week against the ailing Cats.  I'll be there with a few Bombers and I expect they'll be a bit nervy, despite our shite form.  When they're on, they have the best attacking game in the league, Pies included, but when they're off or Watson is held, they can disintegrate.  Next year will likely be their year. I expect them to win comfortably, but I sense Geelong is actually annoyed for the first time this year.  They don't like losing to Collingwood.

    Hawks, there's a conundrum.  Great attack, razor sharp ball movement, but a potentially frail backline and a midfield that is suspect to my mind.  They love to beat the piss out of GWS et al.  Speaking of n00b teams, did you see the Gold Coast finale v Richmond?  About to watch it now.

    I expect Brisbane will be making a finals bid next year, as will Richmond.  Carlton are a rabble, despite beating Collingwood.  This is a weird-arse season.  Ablett Jnr is a freak, Judd is a dirty bastard.

    Finally, the football commentary that Seven are dishing up is by far the worst in living memory, and I've heard Peter McKenna and Paul Couch commentate.  Bruce, just... just fuck off.  Honestly, it's rubbish.  Embarrassing even.  Brian Taylor, wat.  PadDEEEE RyDERRRRRR BOYOBOYWOWEEEE aaaargh

    It's technically amateurish and the introduction of Twitter opinion and that Fango crap is diluting the thing unnecessarily.  If only I could sync up the ABC broadcast with the telly; alas, I have no Foxtel connection.
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  • Saw last kick and that's it from gws.

    Judd is a weird one. Good article talking jekyl and Hyde in the age which I roughly agree with. I'd like to see him get 4-5 weeks in this case.

    I thought Geelong showed enough to give hope. They just don't have the players atm. They need some more age and gym in the young blokes. And Hawkins may have to go. His kicking is killing you. I'd actually let him mark anywhere he wants outside 20 metres if I was defending him.

    I'm still great and you still love it.
  • And yes re commentary. Fridays are average but Saturday's with bt and Twitter is awful.
    I'm still great and you still love it.
  • I support the cowboys
    Currently playing; Mario Maker and Clash Royale
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    Facewon wrote:
    And Hawkins may have to go. His kicking is killing you. I'd actually let him mark anywhere he wants outside 20 metres if I was defending him.
    It's mental with him.  There are days when he strikes it beautifully, others where he may as well aim away from goal.  His technique, when he kicks properly, is sound.  Good momentum, straight leg, plenty of power.  If he wasn't marking bloody everything it might be easier to take.  He's at the point now where he can (and does) dominate an opposition backline in the air, he just can't fucking kick straight.  It's ever so galling.

    Also, T. Cloke at $1m a year, LAWL.

    Brian Taylor is a cunt.
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    mk64 wrote:
    I support the cowboys
    You have your own thread to ruin.
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  • Isn't there a team called the cowboys? From nsw.

    Ftr I'm being serious.
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  • You support them but you're not sure if they exist?
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    mk64 wrote:
    Isn't there a team called the cowboys? From nsw. Ftr I'm being serious.
    That's the NRL, rugby league.  We're talking AFL, or Aussie rules football.

    This.



    For some context, the Suns (the red mob) were introduced to the league last year (winning 3 games).  This season, they were yet to win a game after 15 rounds (of 22).  As part of the marketing push to promote this new team and further the game in Queensland, Karmichael Hunt, a rugby league player in his prime, was pinched from the NRL as a show that the AFL is a premier code.  He's on a million a year or something.  Anyway, they hadn't won a game, he'd only kicked 3 goals in his short AFL career then this past weekend, the above happens.  Good story.
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  • ahh ok. My bad. I went to see them once so they're my team. I was using the word support lightly i spose.

    Cheers unlikely.
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  • I'm not sure what all the stuff in the OP is, since we all know that they just make it up as they go along.
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    Ha, it's better than whatever game you like.
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    "I'm jealous of sucking major dick!"~ Kernowgaz
  • You're just saying that because we stuffed you 4-0.
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    Those numbers make no sense to me.
    Skerret's posting is ok to trip balls to and read just to experience the ambience but don't expect any content.
    "I'm jealous of sucking major dick!"~ Kernowgaz
  • It the number of cricket games that England and Australia won recently. Your mob are on the right.
  • I feel a little bit sorry for St Kilda. They had a bit of window that kinda got pissed away by Grant Thomas. Unlucky to draw with Collingwood and then the replay was always going to go the way it did.

    Saint Nick always gets an A for effort, but I don't know it's enough with what they have on the paddock these days to get them back to the top any time soon. Plus his kicking is nearly as bad as hawkins. Cloke gets off in that argument because a. he knows how to mark 10 metres out directly in front and b. has more moments of good kicking than the other two at the moment.

    Also, watching the Western bulldogs on the weekend reminded me how important physical strength is to the genuine contenders. Even when they were knocking on the door over the last few years they were always slightly undersized. You just can't get away with it. I can't think of a premiership side of the 00s and beyond who hasn't had a fair chunk of physical presence to go with skill and speed etc.

    The Lions bashed teams. Sydney were tough as nails, Geelong had some beef to back up the skill, likewise hawthorn.

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    It the number of cricket games that England and Australia won recently. Your mob are on the right.
    Yes, I know.
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    Facewon wrote:
    I feel a little bit sorry for St Kilda. They had a bit of window that kinda got pissed away by Grant Thomas. Unlucky to draw with Collingwood and then the replay was always going to go the way it did. Saint Nick always gets an A for effort, but I don't know it's enough with what they have on the paddock these days to get them back to the top any time soon. Plus his kicking is nearly as bad as hawkins. Cloke gets off in that argument because a. he knows how to mark 10 metres out directly in front and b. has more moments of good kicking than the other two at the moment. Also, watching the Western bulldogs on the weekend reminded me how important physical strength is to the genuine contenders. Even when they were knocking on the door over the last few years they were always slightly undersized. You just can't get away with it. I can't think of a premiership side of the 00s and beyond who hasn't had a fair chunk of physical presence to go with skill and speed etc. The Lions bashed teams. Sydney were tough as nails, Geelong had some beef to back up the skill, likewise hawthorn.
    I also feel for the Saints, given their history.  Reiwoldt will be used up in a year or two, he's been bashed around too much.

    Collingwood seem to get most of their shots from 0-30 straight in front.  Good system I suppose.

    The Dogs had some grunt when Mitch Hahn and even Akermanis were still there.  They are largely composed of the same type of player; lean, quick, skilled but weedy.  There's Minson I suppose.  West Coast are a big team, I'd rather not play them come finals time.  We're going to get pantsed when we play them in a few weeks.
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  • Yeah, I was going to question the fitness program down at WB, but then there's Minson and a couple of the other vig guys, but it's not your bigs you necessarily want huge.

    There's ways and means of imposing yourself, but the good teams have had midfield POWA. Going back, Voss to complement some of the quicker outside types like Lappin. Black was a bit of both. Luke Power was always a big unit. Kerr and Cousins where strong, Judd's inside and out and while not huge, has a lot of strength on the ball. Ablett, Ling and Chapman are all strong in their own different ways. Swan can't be moved, Buckley was powerful. And had Burns doing grunt work. The bulldogs seem to have some good outside players, backed up by goers without the power. Cross and the Captain, who's name eludes me right now get in there, but can't impose themselves. Higgins is classy but outside. etc etc.

    I guess if I'm feeling sorry for Nick, I should feel sorry for the Pav too.
    I'm still great and you still love it.
  • Never seen a full match. Guess I could change that.
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    Feel free to pop round, I have popcorn.
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  • 4 weeks seems about right.
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    Yep.  He's shifty Judd, despite his reputation.  Perhaps he's on the way out so wants to take a few with him.
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  • Well, apart from that incident, I have to say reports of his demise may be prem, and all that. His game against north, overall, was pretty vintage. He was all over things for a while there. And mid way through the third when they got to within 20 points he was dragging them back single handed. What he needs is help. I have no doubt he could still be damaging for a good few years if he had the support, robert harvey style. Ratten needs to go, regardless. Malthouse, Roos or Eade for the slot.
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    There are rumblings about Malthouse.  It would fit with his sticking it up Collingwood philosophy he seems to have adopted.

    Judd has been better of late, really looked to be struggling for a while there.  Joel Corey needs to follow suit, he's been awful lately.
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    We're going to win, I can smell it.  Essendon are vulnerable and Motlop is due to tear shit up.  Watch for Walker in game two.
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  • Power of positive thinking. I like it. Certainly not out of the question. Essendon are no Collingwood.
    I'm still great and you still love it.
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    Who am I kidding; Crameri to kick six, Bombers by 48, Selwood to do both knees.
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  • Aren't you glad to be wrong? And really wrong.
    I'm still great and you still love it.
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    Yep.  Had Hawkins down for seven, close.  As they don't say in the god thread, I should have kept the faith.
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