Weird Stuff (tinfoil hat wearing goons only, please)
  • davyK
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    I've been lost in the woods a few times. One time, I got really lost whilst hiking a remote trail on the South Island of NZ. Hiking solo, it is a really fucking scary thing to happen, you can get turned around in seconds, and lose the trail even if you're on top of it. It's easy for me to see how people get confused and end up dying. I was extremely lucky. The light was fading, snow was starting to fall, and just like that, the ground went spongey and I knew I'd wandered from the trail. It's not a nice feeling. I immediately stopped, backtracked the way I thought I'd gone, and then realised I had lost the track completely. A blind panic took over me and I started jogging through the woods with all my kit muttering to myself before going arse over tit on a root. I gathered my shit together and accepted I was hopelessly lost. This all happened in a matter of minutes. By now it was dark, really fucking dark, almost pitch black - it gets dark very quickly in the woods - so the head torch went on and I just scrambled through the woods - for hours and hours - in the dark - completely alone - banging my head on branches, tripping over things at every other step and whimpering. I've never been more scared in my life. It was horrendous. I was exhausted. I'd all but resigned to find somewhere to camp in this lonely misery, when I spied something through the murk - what looked like an orange marker tag on a tree, of which I'd thought I'd seen a million of during my desperate scramble in the last few hours. As I got closer the waves of relief came over me as I realised it really was a trail marker and I just collapsed for a while, unable to believe my luck. It was another two hours of hiking that trail in the pitch black and the snow, before I finally saw the silhouette of the musterers hut I was supposed to have reached hours before, and my head torch had ran out an hour before that but I was so tuned to the trail it didn't matter. I just couldn't believe my dumb luck. Those woods could have easily been my grave. Do not fuck around in the woods guys.

    Dear Lord that is terrifying.
    Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
  • I never muck around with a wood.
  • GooberTheHat
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    On a serious note, if you do fuck about in woods/the wilderness you really should learn how to read a map and use a compass.
  • Yossarian
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    I've got Google maps on my phone. Sorted.
  • ... and work on your night vision.
  • GooberTheHat
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    Good luck.
  • Yossarian
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    Lord_Griff wrote:
    ... and work on your night vision.

    My phone has a torch too.
  • I went running in the forest one winter, was using my phone for a torch. The sun had set and the temperature started to drop. Maybe -4 or something.

    Any way, half way through the c8 miler, my phone flashed up saying that it was too cold to operate and switched itself off. Bye bye map and any form of illumination, in a pitch black forest. T'was brilliant.
  • ...and before you ask, thankfully it was too cold for the aliens, they ended up mashing their shriveled junk harmlessly against anus... the fools.
  • cockbeard
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    No opposable digits, couldn't even thumb it in
    "I spent years thinking Yorke was legit Downs-ish disabled and could only achieve lucidity through song" - Mr B
  • They use their minds man.
    Their miiiiinds
  • Yossarian wrote:
    Don't know that one. Got a link? Edit: Supadupafly.
    I THINK this is the correct version. I think there are one or two edits.

    Click here


    There is a spoiler of a sort:
    Spoiler:
    http://horganphoto.com My STILL under construction website
    PSN : superflyninja
  • Not sure where best to put this so I’m gonna put it in here and in the music thread. The book thread doesn’t feel like the right place, somehow.

    John Higgs’s excellent book on the KLF, Chaos, Magic and the Band who Burned a Million Quid, is on offer  for 99p on the Kindle just now. Link here.

    It’s short, but brilliant. It’s utterly bonkers. Higgs starts off writing a traditional music biography, but because it’s about the KLF he soon ends up discussing Discordian theory, the number 23, black magic, imaginary Norwegian pop musicians, Situationism, road trips to nowhere and the inevitable decline of capitalism. It’s a trip, man. I highly recommend it and for 99p you should all give it a bash.

    31W1LHBW46L.jpg
  • Kow
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    Bought. More because I like Discordianism, chaos magic and the number 23 than the KLF, mind you.
  • Sounds a little like One Three One by Julian Cope
  • Kow
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    Hm, that sounds good too. Will put on wishlist.
  • cockbeard
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    Gotta lot of time for Bill Drummond, him and Jimmy are bloody good artists

    I didn't catch Jimmy's recent tour with his little model cities but it looked very cool to me
    "I spent years thinking Yorke was legit Downs-ish disabled and could only achieve lucidity through song" - Mr B
  • Yossarian wrote:
    Don't know that one. Got a link? Edit: Supadupafly.
    I THINK this is the correct version. I think there are one or two edits.

    Click here


    There is a spoiler of a sort:
    Spoiler:

    Spent most of my working day trying to find the time to read through that. Creepy as fuck.

  • Also
    Spoiler:
  • davyK
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    Great piece of nonsense I read late 70s/early 80s. Pyramids keeping razor blades sharp etc. The family home was choc-a-block with this stuff and it was great fun.

    525843.jpg
    Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
  • davyK
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    One spurs memories of another.....according to this gem, my parents' marriage should have lasted 5 mins. They were married 49 years when pop died.

    Cheiro.0.jpg
    Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
  • davyK
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    And another - google the Dogon Tribe if you please....

    The_Sirius_Mystery%2C_first_edition.jpg
    Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
  • davyK
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    And of course, the classic....

    f8794b3ae83cbd2547786ada95617602.jpg
    Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
  • bad_hair_day
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    Who made the gods, gods, gods, gods, gods ....
    retroking1981: Fuck this place I'm off to the pub.
  • bad_hair_day
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    I can't argue that.  

    Where are my keys?
    retroking1981: Fuck this place I'm off to the pub.
  • davyK
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    The thing about those books was I read them at an impressionable age. I was also under the impression that people only got to publish a book if they are bonafide and speaking the truth.

    I still have a residual interest in the stuff despite having found out that there are either sensible explanations or the author was an outright liar or just bonkers.
    Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009.
  • Yossarian
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    I think you can replace the penultimate 'or' with an 'and'.

    Edit: damn stealth edit.
  • Yossarian wrote:
    Don't know that one. Got a link? Edit: Supadupafly.
    I THINK this is the correct version. I think there are one or two edits. Click here There is a spoiler of a sort:
    Spoiler:
    Spent most of my working day trying to find the time to read through that. Creepy as fuck.
    Oh yes! And made for some very uncomfortable reading in places.
    Spoiler:
    http://horganphoto.com My STILL under construction website
    PSN : superflyninja
  • Yossarian wrote:
    Don't know that one. Got a link? Edit: Supadupafly.
    I THINK this is the correct version. I think there are one or two edits. Click here There is a spoiler of a sort:
    Spoiler:
    Spent most of my working day trying to find the time to read through that. Creepy as fuck.
    Oh yes! And made for some very uncomfortable reading in places.
    Spoiler:

    Yep. Wasn't comfortable with that at all, pics didn't help.
    Spoiler:

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