I crashed on the motorway in the snow, while this was happening my main worry was that my dad would tell me off for ruining my car.

I sometimes worry what the point of it all is but I don't want to make anyone I care about sad.

Death is the fear of leaving behind what you have now, kids, loved ones. I'm always intrigued as to those that have lived a life and are prepared to slip away, however long that may take.

I watched over several years the slow descent of my dear granddad following a couple of strokes and complications arriving from them. Glenn Miller no longer piped from the stereo, the TV snooker stayed away; save for some moments of humorous chat, it was as if he was biding his time.

Parents of my stepdad, his father passed away with illness, followed a week later by his mother from no complication. The reason to live no longer there, she seemingly gave up on living.

I'm in no rush to get there myself but I'd be keen to see what's on the other side.

La la la-la la life is life

regmcfly wrote:

I have a feeling it's like going to sleep without the dreams. A wall of unconscious blackness

It's more like never being born. Simply nothing.

I used to get freaked out about nothing. Not in a death way, more a no Universe kinda way. I used to try and comprehend what absolutely fuck all was like. No time, no space, no blackness, NOTHING.

Jesus fuck I'm getting the fear again.

I used to be terrified of dying when i was younger. I recall the time dad bluntly explained to me how it worked.

"what are those"

"gravestones"

"what are they for?"

"when people die we put them underground. one day that will happen to mum"

I cried for a fucking long time. I can still remember the sound of my mum flipping out over my dad's delivery.

GooberTheHat wrote:

I've been shot at a number of times, been in a vehicle that was hit by an IED and had a 107mm Chinese rocket land less 10 meters away from me while I slept. If I was a cat I would probably have 1 life left.

I've had a 107mm rocket land about 10m away from me while I was lying on the ground being irritated about spilling my coffee, conveniently on the other side of a blast wall designed to stop it killing me.  It worked, and I've never actually mentioned that to anyone.

I've nearly died about 12 times thanks to my job, but so many of them are a bit odd; as in a flicker of one warning saying you're a bit close to something, which meant if the hill was a bit closer or I didn't quite turn the right amount I'd have hit it.  But I didn't, so there you go.

2 aircraft I've been due to fly have crashed on their next sortie, one killing someone I knew, and I've had about 15 friends and peers killed over the last 10 years.  It's perhaps ironic but the long commute along a dodgy US highway in this job is probably more dangerous than flying jets, so I'm now seriously looking forward to going back to flying proper aircraft in a couple of years.

In terms of non-work stuff, as people have said, the fact I have a 4 year old running around means I worry much more about her than I do myself.  There's a strange calm feeling that I've done my bit; achieved quite a lot (I only had 2 bucket list things when I was young, to break the sound barrier and go into space; so I'm half way there), provided for my family, so in the grand scheme of things if I was hit by a bus tomorrow it wouldn't matter that much.

SpaceGazelle wrote:

You're going to die reg, alone and possibly in great pain, and three generations down the line nobody will remember anything about you apart from the fact you died a long time ago, and you were an old relation. This should be a positive thing to realise (I find it immensely liberating), but it looks a bit heartless in print.

I too think it is liberating, the whole 'you're utterly irrelevant' thing (in general, not just for Reg).
And reading about psychoanalysis (Freud/Lacan) has put a great spin on everything.

But I still can't think about dying and leaving my wife alone without getting THE FEAR. So I try not to.

@elmlea, the 107mm rocket wasn't in Basra 2007 by any chance? The one that hit us landed in our tents. Luckily all but 2 of the guys were out on a patrol. One of the guys heard the alarm and jumped up off the sofa and dived over his blast wall (or coffins as we called them). The rocket landed directly on the sofa about 5 seconds later.

LazyGunn wrote:

Elmlea wrote:

Bitterness and resentment cause illnesses?

Definitely, being twisted up inside and inability to express it could lead to all sorts of unhealthy behavior, physical and mental

I think the stress and tension caused by doing that could definitely lead to psychological and physical illness.

Or they just need to punch people more often.

You're more likely to survive operations if you're religious. Bugs me no end.

That won't work unless you believe their praying will help.

Unless god is real.

Hey, if it works then someone else can pray for me all they want.

adkm1979 wrote:

That won't work unless you believe their praying will help.

Yep, the placebo effect is powerful.