g.man wrote:

Aye, many moons ago on one of the older iterations of the forums. I think he really need to elaborate on that particular tale tho…

My old man, in a desperate attempt to remain cool, relevant and 'with it' decided he'd combine being in mortgages with becoming an LTA coach. So every weekend, him, my stepmum and my brothers played tennis. I was left to get myself to football matches across South London with no help. Anyway, they decided they just had to go and have a holiday at La Manga, which is some tennis-heavy sporting complex in Spain, so they could play tennis every day. Case of 'keeping up with the Joneses' as they'd been there as well. 

I think they felt guilty at neglecting my burgeoning football career (position: clogger) so invited me to the La Manga shindig. I'd just finished uni and was up for a free holiday. When we got there, there were press all over the place trying to get in. Glenn Hoddle had the England football team there and was deciding who was going to make the World Cup Squad - it was infamous as it's when he dropped Gazza. Quite a few Sky presenters were there. One night I went out to a bar there with my brother (16yo) and Gabby came up to me, started cracking onto me and after awhile asked if I wanted to go back to hers. I politely declined. She carried on drinking with us, then went over to some of the other Sky people there and came back with one of the Soccer AM Soccerette's and then asked if I fancied a threesome. My brother was pretty stunned about the whole thing and just sat there gawping. Had a girlfriend at home (now my wife) and turned her down again. We did go back for a drink on her veranda as it was on the way back to ours but was a quick snifter. She was quite pleasant throughout. 

The Metro duvet was when the homeless guy helped me sleep in the disabled lift in a train station. Halcyon days.

You were 16, your girlfriend was not there, and you turned down a threesome with Gabby Logan and a Soccerette???!!!!!!

Lunatic.

"I'd just finished uni and was up for a free holiday."

Okay so I assume he's between 18 and 21 during this story. I stand by my lunatic claim.