101 Things that get on our tits but don't actually matter in the slightest.
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Elf also chats shit, obviously -
There's the page turn we were hoping for lol
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Do you have 'quiet carriages' in the UK? Most trains here have one or two. You're not allowed make any noise in them, which includes conversations, mobiles ringing, music etc. -
Some do on longer routes. They're not always respected.
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Kow wrote:Do you have 'quiet carriages' in the UK? Most trains here have one or two. You're not allowed make any noise in them, which includes conversations, mobiles ringing, music etc.
We do have them, they're not really adhered to a lot of the time. I've told people to shut up in them before to mixed results.
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There’s nuance here for me
Commutes = shut up time. Kind of pointless given the noise on tubes anyway you just end up shouting. Colleagues aren’t friends.
Neighbours / school run = on the whole really pleasant human interaction. Love living here where I know almost everyone’s name on the street, and can walk as a group to school. Small talk is easy: just ask them about their shit. After a while it gets real and more interesting. -
Half the problem, for me at least, is that the trains on the West coast line are so fucking crowded. The idea of a quiet carriage seems like fantasy when you're just trying to find a place to sit. Booking only helps sometimes because the train has a high chance of getting cancelled and everyone has to pile on any route they can."Plus he wore shorts like a total cunt" - Bob
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nick_md wrote:Moot_Geeza wrote:Plus there's the talking on a train carriage thing for me, you're pretty much having a conversation for everyone else to hear. Who wants to hear my banal bullshit on the way to work? See also: not answering my phone on a train or bus. Anything non urgent can wait.
Same, avoid phone and conversation on public transport at all costs. Worst is when my mum used to visit me in London and we'd be getting the train from charging cross to Woolwich, she's there giving me all sorts of family updates and asking me stuff in an otherwise silent, packed carriage. Nightmare stuff.
Haha. Worst ever for me was when I was on a (fairly busy) train with my dad and he decided to tell me a Francesca Martinez (of Grange Hill fame) joke that had tickled him from a stand-up performance he'd seen. It went on for ages, with him creasing up for the whole thing. Then he unexpectedly rolled out the punchline with his best impression of her delivery. Ffs. -
DrewMerson wrote:Moot_Geeza wrote:Plus there's the talking on a train carriage thing for me, you're pretty much having a conversation for everyone else to hear.
In the summer of 1997 I was working as a delivery driver for my uncle’s fuel / marine supplies company, based at the harbour in Aberdeen. I regularly caught the same bus into town as one of my school / uni mates, who was working in one of the fish factories across the river. It was a fairly early bus, getting us into town in plenty of time for our 8am starts, so the bus was always full of tired, sleepy passengers generally regretting their life decisions.
My friend had not long returned from a period of time living in London, working in a brothel. He would regularly, loudly, regale me with stories of his time there, such as the time he was fellating a chap who he realised, during the process, either had three testicles or a really concerning growth. I can’t be certain about how the other passengers felt about his anecdotes, but I reckon I’ve got a pretty good idea.
Haha. -
Finnish neighbour can fuck off now. He just asked me, in front of Tilly, why I ran down the stairs and threw a handful of peas onto a brick earlier. Firstly I didn't actually run downstairs, I ran back up the stairs because I heard him coming out of his shed. Secondly, thanks for ruining the 'the peas are mysteriously multiplying!' game I've been playing since she brought a pea home from school earlier. I basically hate him now.
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Told you, neighbours are the worst. And if you don't believe me, ask my neighbour...
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Moot_Geeza wrote:Finnish neighbour can fuck off now. He just asked me, in front of Tilly, why I ran down the stairs and threw a handful of peas onto a brick earlier. Firstly I didn't actually run downstairs, I ran back up the stairs because I heard him coming out of his shed. Secondly, thanks for ruining the 'the peas are mysteriously multiplying!' game I've been playing since she brought a pea home from school earlier. I basically hate him now.
Put his windows through.
I'm happy to chat with anyone anywhere. Bar lunch at work. Fuck off stop trying to sit with me or asking if I want to sit with you I want to look at my phone please fuck off. -
Need to get to the vet for 6pm but I can hear him out there sweeping between the houses. Probably just moving the dirt around while waiting for a buttonhole opportunity.
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It wasn't him! Should've known he'd just put his ladyfriend to work. She's lovely and doesn't chat past pleasantries. She also responds to universal 'in a rush' signs.
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While the mysterious multiplying pea game is full of win, it does rather beg the question, why is Tilly bringing peas home from school?Come with g if you want to live... -
She had one in her pocket from lunch. The plan was to plant it and eventually cook me a roast dinner that included peas apparently
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We don't just multiply ftr. -
Nobody wants to hear about you shagging, Franny -
Important comma.
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Tilly really is the bestMoot_Geeza wrote:She had one in her pocket from lunch. The plan was to plant it and eventually cook me a roast dinner that included peas apparently
Come with g if you want to live... -
Woman on train opposite me eating and smacking her lips while I’m trying to work. She finishes her danish, but kindly leaves bits of it on the table. I take a deep breath but then she breaks out a chewing gum and continues to smack her lips, I’m feeling a bit sick at this point. And I’ve just moved. -
Let rip with a loud fart next to herNot everything is The Best or Shit. Theres many levels between that, lets just enjoy stuff.
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The worst tyoe of people. I just have to break out the earphones at that point as dirty looks don't work on these animals.I am a FREE. I am not MAN. A NUMBER. -
I have a pair of Loops. They effectively block out background noise and reduce sound by about 15db.
Really helps as I'm quite sensitive to certain noises and suffer from Misophonia. I would've absolutely snapped at her.
Not everything is The Best or Shit. Theres many levels between that, lets just enjoy stuff. -
Just ask her if she wouldn't mind awfully, to not eat like a fucking pig, then put your earphones back in and get back to your work. -
Suddenly burst into full Daniel Day Lewis mode and theatrically explain how you eat her Danish.
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Lip smacking is very high up on my "features of annoying cunts" list.Holding the wrong end of the stick since 2009. -
I wish I had a video of my ex colleague. Sat next to or near him for 20 years. He had pretty much every annoying trait imaginable. Lip smacking (and lip popping - not the finger thing, just an occasional 'pap pap pap', like a gormless guppy), humming, whistling of non tunes (literally just a weird in and out birdcall noise), finger drumming, clicking whenever he moved anywhere. Random quacking on a few occasions too, no lie. Spoons on crockery was the worst for me - everyone hated him so there's a theory that he did it on purpose. I don't think he had the gumption to keep that up for as long as he did though, he just ate cereal like a moron.
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