Le grand chien 3.0 - The Bear and Badger

Boozy

Chapter One : Child of Satan

I had a megadrive and a copy of John Madden 75 or whenever the fuck that dinosaur was out. I never had any other games because they were like £50 each back when that could buy you a week's family holiday and the car to take you there.

Imagine buying a shit game for it or worse a broken game. You'd nrever admit it, even today. Instead you'd be all like yeah I bought the jap import of super fuzzy nuts IV and it was the best game ever because no one else was daft enough to get it so no one can argue it wasn't.

I'm putting forward the case that nostalgia will always seem preferable to how bad things are nowadays and that's where a lot of this false cheerleading in this two horse race is coming from.

So I'm here to defend my client your honour. The whipping boy of generation 8.The most hated, the most denegrated, the most despised, child of the most evil parentage in the history of consoledom.

The Xbox One.

From the moment it was announced this big ugly 80's VCR was spat on, shat on and cursed out by 90% of internet using gamers. From it's name to it's shady media biased focus, it's NSA/CIA sponsored spycam designed to catch you picking your nose or worse and to let MS detail every inch of your life for big evil data acquisition. It's pathetic early announced games Boreza, Fitba, Call of Doggydoo, but hey you can get rid of that pesky tv remote and change channels with your mouth.

Yep it was a shocker. It only got worse as E3 hit and Angry Joe got in a fight with Uncle Larry over nuclear submariners being locked out of selling their games to buy crack. How would the troops in Camp Camelshit be able to play Call of Duty with no internet ? MS were a disgrace to gaming.

"Did you see Titanfall ?" They desperately tried to defend their games console abomination and always online requirements with a multi player only online mech vs space marines action FPS from the creators of the best Call of Duty games still to this day. They had nothing because the mobs weren't listening anymore and Major Larry could probably have had a wank on the Bible on stage at E3 and failed to get anyone more upset than they were already.

Chapter 2 to follow

afgavinstan

Go on Boozy!

Yossarian

I love both of these consoles. I’m not voting in this, but if I were, I’d be abstaining.

Moot_Geeza

optimark_prime wrote:

Moot_Geeza wrote:

19.65.9.17

Yuji Naka’s date of birth.

Top dog. The only celebrity's bday I know other than Jesus.

Diluted Dante

I'm going with it's just that the Xbox One is shit.

Kara_Jane_Addams

Boozy wrote:

Imagine buying a shit game for it or worse a broken game. You'd never admit it, even today. Instead you'd be all like "yeah I bought the jap import of super fuzzy nuts IV and it was the best game ever" because no one else was daft enough to get it so no one can argue it wasn't. I'm putting forward the case that nostalgia will always seem preferable to how bad things are nowadays and that's where a lot of this false cheerleading in this two horse race is coming from.

We had rental shops, magazines and friends to trade with.

it wasn't an issue.

I'm sorry your only game was Madden, that must have stung, but you're amongst friends here, it's no good blaming the console, just have a good cry and let it all out.

Moot_Geeza

It was when Mega Action gave Terminator 2: Judgement Day 88%. A particularly bad issue, in fact.

g.man

Boozy be killin’ it up in here!

Kara_Jane_Addams

I have a PC, the XBox One is redundant.

Yossarian

I don’t.

LivDiv

I have a PC my Xbox is far from redundant.

I mean if we are doing the PC thing then this is between the PS4 and the Saturn.

Boozy

Chapter 2 :Failure to Launch

November 2013 the Xbox One is launched with a dashboard held together with chewing gum and earwax. Forza 5 1080p 60fps but nobody ever mention that technical marvel in the face of 900p/720p headlines that would be a daily occurence for the next 3 years. £420 price point which was a mental display of hubris in the face of forthcoming sales numbers humiliation.
Ryse Son of Rome still one this generations best looking games, Dead Rising 3 arguably the most fun DR title in the series, Killer Instinct a modern updating of a much loved nostalgia title that shat on the original from a great height and the prospect of Titanfall coming within 6 months. So actually not a bad line up of exclusives at launch. Almost arguably better than their main competitors exclusive titles if only games had mattered as much as resolutions in those days.

Chapter 3 : The resolution wars. Nov 13 - June 17

If you never had an Xbone during these years you'd be forgiven for being led to believe it had no games and if it did have any, playing them would be equivalent to having poo sprayed into your eyes from a dhiaretic dog's bumhole.

However those who were playing were playing the long games, Forza 5 despite being chastised at launch for lack of content was a diamond in the rough that rewarded long term players with it's exquisite handling model and gorgeous cars and tracks and the subtle improvements in refinement that would go on to be the bedrock that made generation 8 one of my favourites in a lifetime of gaming.

Titanfall similarly rewarded those playing the long game with tactical upgrades that made you appreciate the wealth of gameplay possibilities contained in each thrilling match of tension and hilarity.

Sunset Overdrive aka Wacky Spiderman was similarly rewarding to those who got fully upgraded and also offered unlimited anarchy with it's multitude of crazy weapons.

Then came the Big Dog. Forza muthafuckin' Horizon 2. Built on the technical marvel mentioned above by a team of gaming wizards. The game that launched a million giggles in the form of FNF. This very forum's longest running thread of the generation. The game that encapsulated why Xbox is the best box. The reason many of us middle aged old farts still play games at all instead of giving up on life and becoming our age.

The FNF thread and the joy each session brings is the only arguement necessary to cast your vote for the Xbox One. Everything else is a bonus.

I could write more but I got to the point in the end.

[Deleted User]

So, he jokes about having no games are unfounded. It has one game. Maybe that’s why it’s called that.

GooberTheHat

I vote for Boozy

Yossarian

FNF is one of the best gaming experiences of my life, TBF. Up there with the glory days of Halols.

GooberTheHat

Yossarian wrote:

FNF is one of the best gaming experiences of my life, TBF. Up there with the glory days of Halols.

Absolutely

g.man

Boozy wrote:

Chapter 2 :Failure to Launch

November 2013 the Xbox One is launched with a dashboard held together with chewing gum and earwax. Forza 5 1080p 60fps but nobody ever mention that technical marvel in the face of 900p/720p headlines that would be a daily occurence for the next 3 years. £420 price point which was a mental display of hubris in the face of forthcoming sales numbers humiliation. Ryse Son of Rome still one this generations best looking games, Dead Rising 3 arguably the most fun DR title in the series, Killer Instinct a modern updating of a much loved nostalgia title that shat on the original from a great height and the prospect of Titanfall coming within 6 months. So actually not a bad line up of exclusives at launch. Almost arguably better than their main competitors exclusive titles if only games had mattered as much as resolutions in those days.

Chapter 3 : The resolution wars.

Nov 13 - June 17 If you never had an Xbone during these years you'd be forgiven for being led to believe it had no games and if it did have any, playing them would be equivalent to having poo sprayed into your eyes from a dhiaretic dog's bumhole.

However those who were playing were playing the long games, Forza 5 despite being chastised at launch for lack of content was a diamond in the rough that rewarded long term players with it's exquisite handling model and gorgeous cars and tracks and the subtle improvements in refinement that would go on to be the bedrock that made generation 8 one of my favourites in a lifetime of gaming.

Titanfall similarly rewarded those playing the long game with tactical upgrades that made you appreciate the wealth of gameplay possibilities contained in each thrilling match of tension and hilarity. Sunset Overdrive aka Wacky Spiderman was similarly rewarding to those who got fully upgraded and also offered unlimited anarchy with it's multitude of crazy weapons.

Then came the Big Dog. Forza muthafuckin' Horizon 2. Built on the technical marvel mentioned above by a team of gaming wizards. The game that launched a million giggles in the form of FNF. This very forum's longest running thread of the generation. The game that encapsulated why Xbox is the best box. The reason many of us middle aged old farts still play games at all instead of giving up on life and becoming our age. The FNF thread and the joy each session brings is the only arguement necessary to cast your vote for the Xbox One. Everything else is a bonus. I could write more but I got to the point in the end.

Wookienopants

Xbox One by far.

digi

Mega drive.

Had more games and the better exclusives.

Yossarian

digi wrote:

Mega drive.

Had more games

Apparently not. 901 vs 1070 so far.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Sega_Genesis_games

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Xbox_One_games

digi

Yossarian wrote:

digi wrote:

Mega drive.

Had more games

Apparently not. 901 vs 1070 so far.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Sega_Genesis_games

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Xbox_One_games

My apologies for being wrong on the first point then pal.

I still vote md.

Yossarian

I’m not suggesting either that you apologise or change your vote, I was just interested in whether or not that could be true considering the massive growth in gaming in the intervening years so looked it up.

bad_hair_day

GooberTheHat wrote:

I vote for Boozy

Seconded.

Vela

I vote for Megadrive.

Sonic, Streets of Rage, Gunstar Heroes are all stock standard names to bring up for the library and have been many times already.

I'd like to mention this game which I only ever found while trawling through a video city ex rental bin. Never heard of the game before and seems like I managed to stumble onto somewhat of a gem.

Elemental Master. Had a cracking soundtrack too.

Vela

Best walking simulator ever

Kara_Jane_Addams

LivDiv wrote:

I mean if we are doing the PC thing then this is between the PS4 and the Saturn.

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

[Deleted User]

Yossarian wrote:

I was just interested in whether or not that could be true considering the massive growth in gaming in the intervening years so looked it up.

I’m not saying this to have a pop at the XB1 because, controller aside, it is a console I’d like to own for some of its exclusives and, having been involved in a few FNFs in Forza Motorsport 2 on the 360 but, given the growth of the medium, it does feel like there should be way, way more games on XB1 than MD. those figures seem very close.

Moot_Geeza

Just look at the way they bowl in at the end. Shades, Rocco and Mirage - it's God tier character design.

monkey

I vote Megadrive.
MEGADRIVE.
MEGADRIVE.

Yossarian

Andy wrote:

Yossarian wrote:

I was just interested in whether or not that could be true considering the massive growth in gaming in the intervening years so looked it up.

I’m not saying this to have a pop at the XB1 because, controller aside, it is a console I’d like to own for some of its exclusives and, having been involved in a few FNFs in Forza Motorsport 2 on the 360 but, given the growth of the medium, it does feel like there should be way, way more games on XB1 than MD. those figures seem very close.

The MD had a lifespan of 11 9 years, Bone’s been out for just under 6 now.

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