Getting Married...
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Not getting married isn't necessarily a lack of commitment to one another. -
Agreed. I would put my Aunty and uncle forward as testament to it.GooberTheHat wrote:Not getting married isn't necessarily a lack of commitment to one another.
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Yes,of course. I understand that but Face pointed out they got pregnant on purpose as an indicator of their commitment to eachother. It certainly shows commitment but not necessarily the lifelong sort.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote] -
But then why is that any less of a life long commitment than marriage?
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They're commitments to two different people.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote]
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OK, I accept that, but if it is a planned child then that implies a commitment to the other parent, as well as the child.
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Some sort of commitment? Yes.
Lifelong? Not necessarily.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote] -
Hodge360 wrote:
Ok but you are only making a commitment to the child not eachother by not accidentally getting pregnant. I was just surprised when you said a dog and trip to Europe were more important than a wedding. The car and baby I can understand.Facewon wrote:Also note I said "our" decisions. Also note we didn't just get accidently pregnant.
Well, the dog comment was a touch tongue in cheek. Although more seriously, things like pets are a bit of dual commitment. They're certainly not easy things to divy up if a break up happens, that's thankfully not from personal experience, but from seeing break ups of friends.
As for the trip to Europe, why wouldn't that be more important than a wedding? We both love to travel, we've both travelled seperately, but wanted to see the world together.
If you're commited to each other, and if there's no question of either of you leaving the other and all your life plans are based around what you're going to do together with the rest of your lives, then why is it important to get married?
Again, I'm pretty sure this is what SG is trying to get at.
I'm still great and you still love it. -
Is marraige:
Hodge360 wrote:a. Some sort of commitment? Yes.
b. Lifelong? Not necessarily.
See what I did tharr?
I'm still great and you still love it. -
To slow mofo.I'm still great and you still love it.
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Misquoted me??Facewon wrote:Is marraige:
See what I did tharr?Hodge360 wrote:a. Some sort of commitment? Yes. b. Lifelong? Not necessarily.
I can see your point about it not being necessary to get married but its nice to set it in stone. I just got the impression from your post earlier that there were excuses for not getting married,not reasons.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote] -
No, they're reasons.
Also, how is it "setting it in stone?" Have you seen the divorce rate in the western world recently? AFAIK it hovers between a third and a half of marriages ending in divorce. There is no stone.
Again I'll say that I'm not necessarily against the idea of marriage, and I have enjoyed many a wedding and at some stage will marry my girlfriend, but it has no baring on whether we're commited to each other or not. There's a whole range of arguments floating around about how it's (marriage) not necessarily the best way of getting the end results that are typically used to defend it as an institution.
(Pam Greer actually wrote a nice article in The Age about gay marraige that talked about the problem with gay marraige not being the Gay part, but the marraige part.)
I'm still great and you still love it. -
Yeah,I see now they're reasons. I just didn't get that impression straight away.
Far too many people get divorced but I can't help but feel that the majority of them are couples who shouldn't've got married in the first place. Maybe society pressured them into getting married.
I just feel that when there are two people that will undoubtedly spend their lives together,it's nicer for them to be married and to have officially expressed there love to friends,family and the law.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote] -
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Send messageFacewon wrote:Also, how is it "setting it in stone?" Have you seen the divorce rate in the western world recently? AFAIK it hovers between a third and a half of marriages ending in divorce. There is no stone.
No. marriage isn't legally forever or if you're that way inclined spiritually forever.
That's not the point, at least it wasn't for me. It's a commitment to someone. Now you can say "why do I need to make a commitment?", well you don't. But the fact that you do is the important bit. -
I'm on my second marriage.
But can you imagine having to put up with me for the rest of your life?Sometimes here. Sometimes Lurk. Occasionally writes a bad opinion then deletes it before posting.. -
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Send messageI never used to believe in marriage. Just thought it was an unnecessary tradition. 2 people that love each other shouldn't need an official/legal stamp on that relationship, right?
I'm getting married in August. Why? Because I wanted to make a grand romantic gesture towards my long term girlfriend, and one that'll (hopefully) be an awesome day too.
We've hit the obvious downsides to weddings unfortunately... Epic stress over money, stress over organising it etc. I think it's starting to come together but it's not been easy!
Having a humanist ceremony in a local theatre a few mins walk from our house, followed by a BBQ and party nearby. Should be a lot of fun! -
A dog is for life,not just for Christmas.
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Never did see the point. My gf and I have been happily unmarried for 15 years. Personally. I can't see what spending thousands on a ceremony would improve. -
That's the thing,there's plenty of people who live out their life happily unmarried,there's the unhappily married,the happily married and the marriages that just don't work out.
It all depends on what works for the couple themselves and I don't think anyone can give a good explanation as to why someone should get married.
I do think though there is a difference between a long-term unmarried couple and a married couple. I'm not entirely sure I can explain why I feel that way though.[quote=Skerret]Unless someone very obviously insults your loved ones with intent, take nothing here seriously.[/quote] -
I think there's no difference at all.
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You married a sheep?
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Hodge360 wrote:A dog is for life,not just for Christmas.
Sure. By PM if you like.
Sometimes here. Sometimes Lurk. Occasionally writes a bad opinion then deletes it before posting.. -
Thanks. I actually had a rethink after posting that. I'll leave it.revelthedog wrote:
Sure. By PM if you like.Hodge360 wrote:A dog is for life,not just for Christmas. -
That's cool man.Sometimes here. Sometimes Lurk. Occasionally writes a bad opinion then deletes it before posting..
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Send messageKow wrote:Never did see the point. My gf and I have been happily unmarried for 15 years. Personally. I can't see what spending thousands on a ceremony would improve.
It wouldn't improve anything. I don't think anyone would claim it does. -
I can't see it being of use at all. But I generally don't like ceremonies of any kind.
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I don't resent some kind of formalised union process, but fuck a song and dance about it. -
Indeed the one area of progressive social life I have real difficulty with is the whole open relationship/polyamourous commune thing. Too jealous for that shit by half.
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