Well mine is set. 24th May. 
Going to go and make the rings next Saturday. 
We have done the intent to marry thing at the registry office. I got lady pantyfires birthday wrong yet again. But I am sure they don't think she is a forced marriage or something.

We've found our location in Peebles and are just waiting for the menu options to be sent.

No, waiting to see price first

We've got venues pinned down (just gotta pay the deposit) and I bought my suit and shoes yesterday. 

6 months ETA. Pooling the money is gonna be TOUGH.

Why do people get married? 

I know it sounds retarded, but I do not get it. Not even slightly. I can disagree with things people do but have some notion of why they do it, but not this. I'm not saying it's bad, mainly because I find it so perplexing I'm afraid to have any say of something that I do not remotely understand.

Because they love each other and want to raise a family together?

GooberTheHat wrote:

Because they love each other and want to raise a family together?

Well, I suspect this is the angle that spacegazelle is getting at. Marriage, apart from pressure from certain religious angles and older generations, has no real baring on how much people love each other. And there's no biological reason you can't have a child out of wedlock, obviously.

I, for instance, am in fact in love with my girlfriend, and as we've been living together for 4 years, are just about afforded all the same legal rights as a married couple, and we have a baby due in September.

So then, a cheeky question: Why should we get married, goober?

Did I know you were preggas, Face?
Either way congrats!

To me marriage would just be a display of "yes, to me you're the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with" to her and all the people we know and that's good enough.
Plus I'd hope she's super hot and you know you gotta lock that shit down.

@mike: congrats.

@shabby: Only mentioned in a couple of threads in passing. So easily missed. Cheers.

@rev: I will in due course.

Ok, time to expand, the rhetoricals will get silly otherwise.

tbh, I'm semi-ambivelent to the idea of marriage. The missus and I will get married in due course. Not actually completely against the idea, and certainly enjoy weddings, and the communal party vibe. Been to lots of lovely weddings over the course of my life. And the wedding anniversaries of my grand parents and parents have been awesome days too. (Grandparents cracked 50 years before RIP Grandma xoxoxox. My parents are sitting on 40+, their 40th was a great day.)

I also recall that Pinker makes a pretty good case for the civilising effect of marriage on young men in western countries in Better Angels. . . .

I would argue that a more enlightened society could kind of get the same results a different way, but heck, if a proportion of the population see it as an extra pressure to keep them from running amok and waving their willies around and punching people in the fuck for no reason, then ok sure.

The missus and I have largely made our decisions for pragmatic/financial reasons. We're not made of money, and we're not getting any younger. A car, a dog, a trip to Europe and a baby all have taken precedence over the cost of a wedding. There is also, for me, a slight pressure in that it will not be in a church. This will lead to some fairly delicate conversations with my Mum (who is a priest). It'll be fine, and a lot of things are understood between us without being said, but yeah. . .

Also, and this is a complete post hoc rationalisation, but we've talked about not getting married until my girlfriend's 2 close gay friends can too. I really feel for one them in particular, she's ex-JW, damn it's a messy sitcho for her.

Anyhoo.

Don't get uming and ahing about getting married confused with uming and ahing about whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

There's no question of us breaking up any time I can forsee. We're in for the long hawl.

THEN MARRY HER FOR FUCK SAKE.

Why?

EDIT: I can't see the second post.

Good enough.

Facewon wrote:

Also note I said "our" decisions. Also note we didn't just get accidently pregnant.

Ok but you are only making a commitment to the child not eachother by not accidentally getting pregnant. I was just surprised when you said a dog and trip to Europe were more important than a wedding. The car and baby I can understand.