Mod74 wrote:

Aaroncupboard wrote:

Cheers mate, I actually can't wait... Anyone have any tips for the grooms speech?

Tradition dictates you keep it brief. I made mine up on the spot, which probably showed, but who cares.

Probably for the best. I wrote mine out and read it, I remember sounding stilted and dull. I should have just made it up as I went.

WorKid wrote:

I went for make it up. I forgot stuff.

I did make up a little bit. Ended up thanking someone I shouldn't have. That ended up upsetting my dad.

Write your speech down exactly as you want to say it, rehearse it a few times, and then make notes that you can use rather than reading it verbatim from the sheet.  Using small cards can help as if you are nervous you might get a nervous hand shake, which will be exaggerated by holding a sheet of A4 and could make you even more self concious and nervous.  If you do use cards make sure that they are fixed in order (with a key ring split ring for example) otherwise you might end up getting them mixed up and lose your order, which will throw you.

I made sure I had a glass of water at my table when I was doing my speech for two reasons. Firstly I can get a little nervous when public speaking which can cause me to get a dry mouth and makes it more difficult to speak clearly.  Secondly, you can use it as a slight distraction technique.  If you loose your place or forget what you were going to say a pause of a few seconds can seem odd to the audience, but if you are taking a sip of your water at the time it looks perfectly normal, and gives you a few seconds to regain your composure.

In my speech I talked about how I first met my wife, thanked her mother and father and how great their daughter is etc. (you HAVE TO say how beautiful your wife is at some point).  I thanked the bridesmaids and flower girls, the ushers and all the people that have travelled from far away for turning up.  I spoke about the best man, and how he lives in a fantasy world, but just to go along with his speech because he gets upset when people think he is making things up.  I then finished up talking about my wife again, how happy I was to be married etc.  Took just over 5 minutes I think.

I had my speeches before the meal, my brother was so nervous about doing the best man speech that he wouldn't have eaten a thing during the meal, also you have everyone in their seats at the start of the meal, at the end you need to round them up from the toilets/smoking area/bar etc.

Anyway, good luck, enjoy the day and don't let the little things stress you on the day.  Everyone is there to wish you the best and share in your celebrations, they either won't notice or won't care if a few things aren't perfect,

That's genius Cosmic, the xmas thing.

Asking the father would be a move I would make, providing he is going to say yes anyway. If not then forget him.
Isn't tradition to spend 1 months wages on an engagement ring?

6!!!
Anyone who could afford half their salary on a ring is an over payed cunt.

I feel the engagement ring says a hell of a lot about the relationship. From what I have seen/heard a modest or more thought out engagement ring results in a happier marriage as opposed to spending silly money.

Roughly £13k is minimum wage, 6 months would mean, minimum £6.5k, that is silly money. 
I don't want to judge anyone but a good couple would be happier putting that towards a house/family imo.

I will admit I did spend a little bit more than a months wage when I bought the engagement ring, but I had been saving up for 6 months, and then came into a bit of cash so I felt a bit flush at the time.

The ring I bought was just over £1k, the 'rules' said I should have spent a lot more than that, but I didn't because the one I got was exactly what I wanted and anything dearer looked like the kind of thing Zsa Zsa Gabor would have saved for a special occasion.

I didn't ask the father in law either. I think it's out dated and unnecessary. My wife isn't an object to be traded.

Yeah, the more people I check this with, the more I think she should be asked first. It's more of a 'asking for his blessing' than 'can I have your daughter?' But it really is just for him and me thinking he might like the tradition. Then I think I shouldn't be thinking about him, because its all about her.

It is absolutely about the ring, and what it means, not about the price. But to be honest, if you go for something quite classic and vintage, it always looks beautiful, from £50-£2000. All that changes is the materials (I did go for diamond, as I know it's her one chance to own one, and she oohs at them in shop windows).

igorgetmeabrain wrote:

If there's any financial expectation attached to the purchase of the engagement ring, you might as well not bother getting married.

Point of agreement number 2.

GooberTheHat wrote:

You said its all about her, do you have any idea if she would want you to ask her dad or not?  It may be massively important to her, may not matter at all although unless you already know it could be quite tricky to find out without giving the game away.  Sorry for being no use at all

I know one girl who would have been furious if her father had been asked.

Cool. How is the wifetobe holding up?

I've just ordered the engagement ring. 

I took a lot of time and effort on my own to research the shit out of everything there is to know about engagement rings - its a fucking minefield. I've known for a long while what my gf's preference would be, so that made it a little easier. I haven't broken the balance, although I have been putting money aside for the past 3-4 months.

I'm planning on popping the question on New Years, not sure how yet but I have arranged a three day West End break which she'll enjoy.

I am definitely going to ask her parents permission as I think it would be a little weird not to, I think they kind of expect that. It has been brought up in previous conversations and I certainly think its polite, even if it is old school.

Rehersal done. Reception venue has been decorated. Family is in the hotel that is very similar to Fawlty Towers. One night to go.