The Star Wars thread - "Chewie, we're home." - The Bear and Badger

pantyfire

monkey wrote:

And the first Star Wars.

WRONG

monkey

I love how they don’t just want to do a fan do-over on a budget or a recut, or maybe just write their own script. They want all of Star Wars stopped, all the actors brought back, everything reshot, Disney coming on board, and then sending this out to cinemas and expecting Joe Schmo to watch a remake of an average film they watched a couple of years ago.

monkey

pantyfire wrote:

monkey wrote:

And the first Star Wars.

WRONG

I hope you’re not questioning the accuracy of Wikipedia information.

[Deleted User]

I can imagine them all in the writers room after being funded.
Brainstorming ideas that in reality are just binning various parts of the original movie.

6 months later they don't have a script, more a list of things they don't like. The camp has disbanded into various factions.
The Incels have flipped, they are dressed in Leia's whites from Episode IV but bloodstained around the groin from furious masturbating
The purists have just written The Force Awakens again, convinced it is original, they are in a fever state caused by the negative effects of blue dye in milk.
A small group of younger prequel fans lay dead, the corpses picked of merchandise months ago by obese men dressed in vulture like Sith robes.

regmcfly

I'm going to start liking TLJ

monkey

Da Da Da Daaaa Duh

Da Da da daaaa duh

Da da da da duh

Da da da da

Star Wars

Episode VIII

The Last Jedi

Luke Skywalker has returned with his army of Jedi neckbeards and are doing cool stuff everywhere and they've all got their own Millienium Falcons. Meanwhile Han Solo has come back from the dead and he is in this now. Kylo Ren is now dressing as Darth Vader and basically just squint and he's now Darth Vader. Kim Kardashian and other wank bank favourites have joined the Rebellion wearing Princess Leia slave outfits. Think that covers it. Now here's the first of 2,000 space battles.

superflyninja

regmcfly wrote:

I'm going to start liking TLJ

Now that's crossing a line. There is no need for that kinda talk.

Olimite

regmcfly wrote:

I'm going to start liking TLJ

Haha. I might make more of an effort too.

Skondo

Can you force yourself to like something?

nick_md

Use the force?

b0r1s

I caved and bought TLJ on 4K simply because I wanted to see Star Wars in 4K.

And it is very pretty but I’ve just got to casino planet and I’ve switched it off.

Up to that point it’s actually pretty good, looking at it without any weight of expectation.

Even the Poe and Finn learning not to be hotheaded or a coward, respectively, wasn’t bad, if a little heavy handed. But guess if we are teaching morals to kids then maybe heavy handed is what is needed.

And watching the fleet running away logic with Commander Dern I can see how the final bit was a last ditch effort. After all if she’d have done it before then there was nothing to stop the other star destroyers mopping up the fleet transports anyway.

I’m going into the last half with more positivity than my first watch, but bloody hell, that casino planet is a real test of my fortitude.

And it is very pretty in 4K.

GooberTheHat

The casino planet was shit, but at least it had Benicio del Toro. The rest of the film (with the exception of Marry Poppins) was a star wars movie.

It was to The Empire Strikes Back what The Force Awakens was to A New Hope.

They are films about space wizards with laser swords, robots and space dog fights. Let's not pretend any of them are Vertigo or Citizen Kane.

superflyninja

TLJ stripped away any magic for me.its my own personal crystal skull.

JRPC

superflyninja wrote:

TLJ stripped away any magic for me.its my own personal crystal skull.

Me too.

I loved TFA but after TLJ I'm going to struggle to muster much excitement for 9.

At least its JJ.

Fingers crossed.

JRPC

Although I liked Crystal Skull.

superflyninja

Yeah JJ being back is a good sign. I don't care,I thought TFA was brillz.

Kernowgaz

JRPC wrote:

Although I liked Crystal Skull.

Apart from the stupid alien shit

JRPC

Kernowgaz wrote:

JRPC wrote:

Although I liked Crystal Skull.

Apart from the stupid alien shit

apart from that yeah.

And the nuke maybe.

RamSteelwood

I'm not confident about jj. TFA is fun and did the job at the time, but it's a pretty shit 'part 1' of a trilogy, because i don't think it was ever written with the other films in mind.
TLJ is then shit as a sequel for me, partly cos TFA left a bit of a mess but then also the decision seemed to be to ignore it and do their own story, and then reboot the whole franchise.
Maybe the next one will be a fun film but i can't see it somehow pulling the whole thing together...then again maybe it's just my issue that i look at it expecting a trilogy to be 3 parts of a cohesive story, that follow nicely from the previous trilogy, rather than 3 separate things in the same universe.

MattyJ

I disagree that TFA didn't keep other films in mind. What a lot of people didn't like about TLJ was it throwing out what TFA set up. For example, Ray meetgng Luke and handing over the lightsaber and others I can't remember at the moment.

superflyninja

RamSteelwood wrote:

I'm not confident about jj. TFA is fun and did the job at the time, but it's a pretty shit 'part 1' of a trilogy, because i don't think it was ever written with the other films in mind.
TLJ is then shit as a sequel for me, partly cos TFA left a bit of a mess but then also the decision seemed to be to ignore it and do their own story, and then reboot the whole franchise.
Maybe the next one will be a fun film but i can't see it somehow pulling the whole thing together...then again maybe it's just my issue that i look at it expecting a trilogy to be 3 parts of a cohesive story, that follow nicely from the previous trilogy, rather than 3 separate things in the same universe.

That was the shocking thing for me. It never even crossed my mind that TFA was written with zero thought to the follow ups.
Taken in the context that TFA was setting up a trilogy I thought it did great. It successfully (mostly) blended old and new and was a solid starting point.

Which TLJ completely undid. Johnson threw the baby out with the bathwater imo.

But then he realised that would be too "predictable" and so he set fire to the baby/bath before tossing them in a vat of shattered dreams and crushed expectations.

tin_robot

Here’s a short film about the hounding of Kelly Marie Tran off instagram. It’s a weird one that basically only functions for those where the Venn diagram of “liked Last Jedi”, “really liked Brick” and “finds amateur film making endearing” intersect. But just in case I’m not the only one, here it is:

If nothing else I thought it was worth it for the subtle JJ mystery box nod.

RedDave2

JRPC wrote:

Kernowgaz wrote:

JRPC wrote:

Although I liked Crystal Skull.

Apart from the stupid alien shit

apart from that yeah. And the nuke maybe.

Dont forget the monkey bit

And Shiah.

Jeez, what a rotten film.

Kernowgaz

RedDave2 wrote:

JRPC wrote:

Kernowgaz wrote:

JRPC wrote:

Although I liked Crystal Skull.

Apart from the stupid alien shit

apart from that yeah. And the nuke maybe.

Dont forget the monkey bit

And Shiah.

Jeez, what a rotten film.

I thought he would've been good as a young indy

RedDave2

Nothing against him, but he is awful in that film (he seems to still be in his transformer mode of acting) and the character itself was badly thought out.

He was no River.

JRPC

He was good in Holes.

Matt_82

Well, here it is...

monkey

It's all been said at this stage I think. Although he takes apart the script and it's bizarre contrivances quite well.

bad_hair_day

So then, RJ’s heart was in the right place but he made a farcical turd. No argument there.

RamSteelwood

Yeah, very good.
i particularly like his thing about "you might not have noticed, but your brain did". I think when you 'try to justify' why you don't like TLJ you can across nit picky, but it's your brain noticing all these little wrong things that make it feel bad.

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories