CEO visited two weeks back btw. Spent three hours in a room with the call centre manager, our managers actually did some work, and then he got to chat to handpicked colleagues who rehearsed what they said. Man has no clue how it's actually run.

Yeah it was absolutely fucking lol. Managers in suits, groomed to within a millimetre, whispers when he was about to arrive. I got bollocked for daring to check BBC Sport while on my lunch break, even though its call centre policy that you can browse the internet on certain sites during your breaks. Best bit was, I was asked if it was a good idea to be on there when the CEO was around, when he was completely on the other side of the call centre and heading on his way out.

He did ask how I was and got an 'alreet mate' to which he looked semi-confused.

Precisely.

Reward yourself with a nice cold pint after spending a few hours at applications and emails. I would.

Carpet bomb them with cvs and get outta there by 5pm. It is Saturday after all.

Tempy wrote:

I thought new Thrones was next year?

Tesco's employment questionnaire is like an a philosophy question from an episode of The Good Place.

Riddle me this:

A member of your team is preparing a customer promotion. She has just been asked to help on checkouts and asks if you could take over. You are currently helping a customer. How do you respond?

A: Say I am sorry, but I am helping a customer and cannot take over the promotion.
B: Suggest they tell their manager that they cannot help on checkouts
C: Tell the team member I will help after I finish helping the customer

Deffo C.

Yeah I didn't pick the best example to be fair, but they are dumb and there were like 10 of them to do on top of writing job experience, education, personal statement, hobbies and interests, references and uploading your CV.

Combined with the shitty website it just took me two hours to apply for a position.

It's 2 days a week at a till for the sake of fuck.

I worked in Tesco for two years out of College.

And I know blah blah standardised employment blah blah fucking cunting blah

PC world made me sit a written maths exam. I finished 15 minutes early and it turns out it was supposed to be impossible to finish in the half hour set time. Got 100% as well.
The other mouth breathers being interviewed were complaining about how hard it was.

Didn't get the job.

At the GW interview I was asked how I identify good copy/bad copy, and the writing that I liked, and how I thought that kind of writing would influence me - was a bit of a stretch getting Ta-Nehsi Coates and Alex Heller-Nicholas to map onto Warhammer.

Oh they also asked me why, if I like writing so much, I am not already doing a job involving writing. I think that one I fucked.

Yeah I don't think I got that across, I mentioned the difficulty but happened to segue into the fact that most writing jobs seem to target younger people and pay poorly/with exposure which is hard to sacrifice a wage for.

Yossarian wrote:

Just write ‘unexpected item in the application area’ on it and send it back to them.

Heh.

poprock wrote:

Customer service jobs are the worst for this sort of nonsense. I remember when HMV made me sit a written exam on the month’s pop charts (I didn’t get the job) and Blockbuster made 12 of us sit in a circle and discuss our favourite movies and directors (again, didn’t get the job).

That blockbuster thing is a very american thing to do. I've heard a few stories with similar experience. I'd love to know the workings behind it, given that the people in the ring are supposedly competiting for a job. One friend told me her experience at a Gap one (she's Irish but was in the states). She described a very weird scenario where they went from person to person and each applicant was describing how they had always wanted to work at the Gap , how they loved the lifestyle the gap embodied, how they saw themselves as future manager material and wanted to work up the gap ladder etc. She was honest and said she just wanted a summer job but would work her ass off. 

She didnt get the job.