Little Franklin wrote:

Also for general disappointment:

Devil May Cry 4 Many things but mostly the absence of the Trickster moves from 3 made it hard for me to enjoy.

I'm borrowing this from @Nick at the moment and I just get on with it either. Nero is so slow and clunky, his dodge feels far too digital after Bayonetta's liquid fast acrobatics. None of the finese involved in DMC3 is apparent here either, I'm trying to get to Dante, in the hopes that he gets to use Ifrit or Beowulf, or at least some other weapon to switch from the monotony of one combo and the buster grabs.

I know it's already been mentioned, but I don't care, because.  SF2 on the Amiga - from six buttons to one.  Haha.  Luckily I had a US SNES because I'm awesome so was able to point and laugh at my mate Jules who had that rancid version on his computer machine.

Killer 7 was also total mince.

Webbins wrote:

I thought the remanning of checkpoints was pushing it in FC2. Fair enough they would repopulate, but when you could level one with the grenade jeep, hightail it half a mile down the road, turn round and come back to what was essentially a reset rather than remanned checkpoint, it became tiresome. Once the novelty wore off, I just dealt with them by tearing through them without stopping.

then avoid them, that was the point of repopulating/respawning. The world was huge, moaning because you can't just bomb from a to b on the road is well gay mate, like everyone who don't like FC2. They're all well gay too innit.

Also, Bayonetta was shiiiiiite.

Okay here we go - 

Vampire Rain - Just a turd of epic proportions - the game is unsure of whether it wants to walk the guns blazin third person shooter, or the Splinter Cell hide-em-up. Because of this, it's stuck somewhere in the middle, and has not a  hope in hell of redeeming itself. Add to that a tired story, glitchy McGlitcherson graphics and poor shadows in a game that's about shadows. Truly one of the worst games I've ever had the misfortune to play.

Superman 64 - Obviously this is legendary, but I don't know how many of you have actually played it. If you have, you'll be able to understand what I mean when I say it MEETS THE HYPE. It really is every bit as bad as you think, from 5 polygon buildings with no detail (4 solid grey rectangles + one solid grey square roof) to ridiculous and nigh-on-unbeatable challenges such as 'fly through the rings' BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SUPERMAN WOULD DO, it's god awful.

Leisure Suit Larry Magna Cum Laude - Yes I bought this. I bought this because I was a horny idiot who didn't have a girlfriend and wanted to see videogame tits. And it's fucking terrible. Terrible jokes, terrible graphics and endings that verge on offensive. Says more about me that I can put this on my list I think.

Golden Axe: Beast Rider - Played only because our very own Unlikely told me it was fucking dire. It is fucking dire.

Rebel Assault 2 - Now I liked the first one. In fact, I got really into it - I just got my first PC and that and Theme Park seemed to me to be the very pinnacle of gaming. And then RA2 came along and it was somehow shonkier and more ugly than a game released years before it. I never quite understood it.

Turok The Dinosaur Hunter - I never got it. Ever. While people in the playground were talking about how awesome it was, all I ever saw was poor textures and fog. Even to this day I can't muster up the enthusiasm to even try it out on my N64. 

Resident Evil Survivor - My friend had a GunCon for his PS1 and he wanted other games that used it. It was this or Point Blank. He is an idiot. This game is fucking ugly and broken.

Pitfighter - My mum got me this for £1 from What Everyone Wants. It wasn't even worth that.

Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue - You may not know this one. I picked it up as part of my N64 collecting. It looks like this - 


It's fucking borked.


and finally, The Famous Five (Amstrad) - contentious one here as it's probably not a bad game, but when I was a kid, all I would ever type in was 'HIT UNCLE QUENTIN' and I'd get sent home and it'd be game over. Quite amusing that they built in reactions by the 5 to swears. I'm sure I'd love it now, but back then I had no fucking clue what I was doing, and for that - WELCOME TO THE LIST.


DONE.

I don't think I've ever played Golden Axe:  Beast Rider.

Unlikely wrote:

I don't think I've ever played Golden Axe:  Beast Rider.

We definitely had a conversation about it at some point.

Webbins wrote:

I thought the remanning of checkpoints was pushing it in FC2. Fair enough they would repopulate, but when you could level one with the grenade jeep, hightail it half a mile down the road, turn round and come back to what was essentially a reset rather than remanned checkpoint, it became tiresome. Once the novelty wore off, I just dealt with them by tearing through them without stopping.

As I said at the time, the idea was they were remanning it when they didn't check in or were found dead.  But as the poor console can't track the status of 1000 people running round the map to repopulate them in an organic way, they had to just refill it when they had the chance.

The game was designed so you never had any reason to drive through a checkpoint, turn around after 500m, and then go back through it again, so if you were sticking to its flow it should never have bothered you.  Besides, they were there to keep you off the roads, and the game was much better if you put some effort into avoiding the out-and-out combat when on the move.

acemuzzy wrote:

But it's a game, not a simulation, isn't it?! Surely fun is the key, even if it isn't realistic?

Well, the existence of loads of flight/driving/whatever sims kind of spoils that comparison though!  People like different degrees of realism.  I find ArmA and its ilk a bit heavy going, but I have no problem with having to spend 5 minutes sneaking past a checkpoint in FC2.  

The AI was superb as well.

Webbins wrote:

Plus, you liked Crysis 2, now that was shite. Edit: not you, obvs.

Shush you and your silky voice.

adkm1979 wrote:

LA Noir (360) Even if they hadn't fucked up the whole naming of the Truth/Lie/Doubt buttons, the design of the interviews was really, really bad.  It's impossible to successfully complete most interviews first time through, because Phelps actions after you select a course of action are so unpredictable.  The collection of evidence is poorly designed.  The handling of the cars is nightmarish.  It really is a total pig of a game, successful because of some expensive animation.  A turd with so much sprinkles on it, you just see an inviting pile of sprinkles, until you try to eat it.

Totally right.  However, I thought the story was a teeny bit alright, and it was an ok experience for a little while with a guide so you just saw the story unfold rather than borking the interviews left right and centre. 

Then you got to the end with all the shooting, and the combat was total shit.

Dark Soldier wrote:

Also whoever says they didn't enjoy FC2, but enjoyed Bayonetta, gtfo you weeaboo mooks.

People who like brawlers more than FOS games maybe? What is you intense dislike of Bayonetta based on? Combat mechanics shit on GoW by several degrees
but I enjoyed that whole series anyway. If its tonal I can understand, but I've honestly never watched a cutscene after my first play through and I must have cleared it five times since then.

Tempy wrote:

Dark Soldier wrote:

Also whoever says they didn't enjoy FC2, but enjoyed Bayonetta, gtfo you weeaboo mooks.

People who like brawlers more than FOS games maybe? What is you intense dislike of Bayonetta based on? Combat mechanics shit on GoW by several degrees but I enjoyed that whole series anyway. If its tonal I can understand, but I've honestly never watched a cutscene after my first play through and I must have cleared it five times since then.

Combat, the feel of it, the absolutely abhorrent look of it, everything in it and about it, just everything really. Not really hated a game as much this gen.

I think it probably is the combat, deep down. I know GoW has no real depth to its mechanics but even I couldn't be fucked learning the moves beyond the absolute basics. That, and I generally hate everything gamewise that looks Asian that isn't cute/dark, ala EG.

That and the hair, and the boots, and the fucking why is she so very annoying all the time.

Whereas Dark/Demon's Souls are amaze. Gimme Bayonetta Souls, I'd probably like that.

Just make everything [gametitle] Souls.

Dark Soldier wrote:

You were wrong about AC2 though Elm, now that is wank.

*sigh*