mk
4) I went on a date with Miquita Oliver in Hoxton back in 2008
No one would go to Hoxton voluntarily

acemuzzy

2. I once ate fugu, vomited, thought I was going to die, but didn't die

reg

2. Sharon Osborne once tried to hit on me.
Because thats wrong

Adkm
4. Me and some of my mates once pinned a stripper to the floor and ripped off her clothing against her will.
Erm...

JonB
4. I once visited Bulgaria for 5 minutes.
Border control is longer than that

equinox_code
3. I was voted sportsperson of the year at our graduation awards ceremony at the end of year 11
your far too metro.

nOface
3. I filmed the wait till I get you home segment with Noel Edmonds but didn't get picked because I told him my Dad hated him.
Everyone hates him and he knows it.

Stophorage
4. After being excluded from school, I turned up for the school photo. My mates 'smuggled' me to the top and the photo featured me sticking 2 fingers up and in civvy clothes.
maybe?

Wookienopants
5- I shot the sheriff (but I did not shoot the deputy)
I shot him

Elmlea
4. I have pinched the Duchess of Cambridge's ass.
Just because I hope 5 is real.

mk64: 1. I have traveled to over 60 countries.

acemuzzy: 4. As a kid, my nickname was 'Marmite'.

reg: 3. I have beaten up a rattlesnake with a golf club.

Adkm: 4. Me and some of my mates once pinned a stripper to the floor and ripped off her clothing against her will.

JonB: 1. When the 2003 Iraq War started, I was in favour of it.

equinox_code: 3. I was voted sportsperson of the year at our graduation awards ceremony at the end of year 11.

nOface: 3. I filmed the wait till I get you home segment with Noel Edmonds but didn't get picked because I told him my Dad hated him.

Stophorage: 2. I was offered the male lead part of a live action Disney film.

Wookienopants: 2. I bought a bag of satsumas and found a dead hamster between them.

Elmlea: 4. I have pinched the Duchess of Cambridge's ass

Moot_geezer: 4. When I was nine or ten, I hated my brother so much that I waged a clandestine bet-wedding vendetta against him for months. We shared a room, and if I needed a piss in the night, I'd do it on his bed without waking him up, before returning to my own bed and waiting for him to get yet another bollocking in the morning for not having control of his bodily functions. He never found out, because he just assumed he'd actually been doing it himself, and everyone still thinks he wet the bed until he was thirteen.

Tin Robot: 5. I was an exhibit on the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.

Kazuo: 5. One night when I was a teenager I woke up to find a robber climbing in my bedroom window. I was so freaked out that I screamed and chucked my alarm clock at him, scaring him off and shattering the window in the proccess.

So you did shoot the deputy! I knew it!

Your analysis of Wookie's lie is magnificent.

acemuzzy
5. I've had a poem published in a newspaper

reg
3. I have beaten up a rattlesnake with a golf club


Adkm
4.  Me and some of my mates once pinned a stripper to the floor and ripped off her clothing against her will.


JonB
3. My first pet when I was a kid was a large black rabbit, which I decided to name 'Darky'.


equinox_code
2. I have never read a fictional book of more than 30 pages long from start to finish


nOface
4. I was on the really wild show asking a question about frogs.


Stophorage
2. I was offered the male lead part of a live action Disney film.


Wookienopants
2- I bought a bag of satsumas and found a dead hamster between them.


Elmlea
4.  I have pinched the Duchess of Cambridge's ass. 


Moot_geezer
2. A Golden Retriever once ripped one of my eyelids off while I was watching Prisoner Cell Block H.

Tin Robot wrote:
4) I once wrote an adaptation of Orwell's 1984 in the style of a sitcom.

Moto70 wrote:
4. Noel Edmunds told me to fuck off.

Kazuo wrote:
2) I'm related to former President and renowned sex pest Bill Clinton.

MK

3) I have a mini garden inside my house

acemuzzy

1. I'm descended from royalty

reg

5. I have climbed over the Sydney Harbour Bridge 

Adkm

3.  I once went to get the morning after pill with a girl who was declined because she'd been there the day before with my mate.

JonB

2. I once made a player's guide to Super Monaco GP on the Megadrive with maps of all the tracks and tips on how to take every corner (the magazine I sent it to didn't publish it).

equinox_code

3. I was voted sportsperson of the year at our graduation awards ceremony at the end of year 11

Stophorage

2. I was offered the male lead part of a live action Disney film.

Wookienopants

5- I shot the sheriff (but I did not shoot the deputy)

Elmlea

3.  I was arrested in Abu Dhabi for trying, along with some colleagues, to requisition a limo belonging to the Sheik to take us back to our hotel, after a particularly lairy night out. 

Moot_geezer

2. A Golden Retriever once ripped one of my eyelids off while I was watching Prisoner Cell Block H.

Tin Robot

3) I was thrown out of Sea Scouts for persuading my peers that the scout hut was on haunted land.

Moto70

5. I had a photo taken while in the Bahamas with only a Black Witch Moth (called the 'Money Bat' in the Caribbean and 'famous' for being on the cover of Silence of the Lambs) covering my dignity.

Kazuo wrote:

5) One night when I was a teenager I woke up to find a robber climbing in my bedroom window. I was so freaked out that I screamed and chucked my alarm clock at him, scaring him off and shattering the window in the proccess.

I missed a few..

Moot - 3
Tin - 1
Moto - 2
Kaz - 3

I will collate answers in a bit to give current standings...

My guesses...

acemuzzy: 2.  It has the most expansion, so I reckon you're covering things up a little there.

reg: 5.  It seems quite innocuous, but I don't remember you talking about Australia, and all of the other ones ring little bells.

adkm: 1.  I can imagine the rest, but this was a tricky one..!

JonB: 1.  It's almost an obvious one, but I'm not sure!

Noxy: 4.  Because I hope it's not true.

nOface: 2.  It strikes me as the least believable of the TV ones.

Stoph: 2.  Again, seems least likely, and I want to hear the threesome story.  Unless that's the lie, because you didn't turn it down...?

Moot:  3.  Too easy, I'm sure you couldn't have accidentally gone for that address...!

Tin Robot: 1.  I'm totally guessing here, but I can imagine a reason for you to end up on a Christmas lecture before this.

Moto: 2.  I'm going to go for you were stopped, but were given a ticket, but didn't get banned... I'm sure I remember a story about points totting up or something.

Kaz: 5.  I can totally imagine the rest...!

MK 64 - Hmm, I like lollies so can believe no.2 . I'll go for No. 4

Acemuzzy - sure if we all go back long enough we're all descended from royalty. No. 3 then. You have a Desmond form the university of life.

Reg - No.3 you haven't beaten up a rattlesnake with a golf club.  If you beat it up surely you'd kill it?

ADKM - some of them are to vague and suggestive to be false. No. 1 stealing.

Jon B - No.1 fo' sho.

Noxy - sure I've read the fictional book line before, so No. 2

nOface - No. 4. Only one to lack a celeb.

Wookie - No.4 - 4 people in a cubicle?

Elmlea - No. 4 - sounds too outlandish.

Moot_Geezer - No.2 was a Pitbull.

Tin_Robot - No.1, highly believable though.

Moto70 - No.4 You told Edmonds to fuck off. Then told him Yewtree were on their way.

Kazuo - No.5 - actually thought all apart from No.4 were lies!.

Have you guessed yet? I think you and wookie and foxy still need to for the full house (or i missed stuff which is perfectly possible!)

1. Yes

2. No

3. Perhaps

4. Not telling

5. Elephant

After my first few guesses I was tempted just to go 4,4,4,4 all the way down

I think that's everyone guessed... Should we reveal then??

Guess we might as well

equinox_code wrote:

I) A friend of mine once threw a Skittle across a dual-carriageway and i caught it between two fingers despite being unable to see it in flight

True, and a much better memory than it probably sounds

equinox_code wrote:

II) I have never read a fictional book of more than 30 pages long from start to finish

I may have balls'd this one up. I've never really enjoyed stories, and having blagged my way through every English exam/piece of coursework without ever reading a book i did genuinely believe this to be true. But since submission i've remembered an exception, and i can't guarantee there isn't another, so i guess this was an inadvertent lie of sorts 

equinox_code wrote:

III) I was voted sportsperson of the year at our graduation awards ceremony at the end of year 11

Probably the only truth which has an interesting story behind it (well i like it anyway). It needs a tiny bit of back story. In school i was famously unsporty. In fact, I was known as that guy who always skipped PE and was shit at every type of exercise ever invented. All the sporty people in our school despised me, as did the PE teachers. Which is why me and my friends thought it would be especially funny to rig the vote for the end of year awards ceremony to get me sportsperson of the year. All my friends voted for me as a favour, while all the kids who got bullied were happy to vote for me too as it was usually the chavs and sporty types who were doing the bullying. Enthusiasm for the plan was heightened further still by all the chavs and chavettes taking the awards so fucking seriously. Fierce debate was raging as to who would win the award. Would it be Generic Football Chav X or Rugby Meathead Y? Everyone seemed to care. Which is why it was so awesome that we'd managed to keep this whole thing a secret all along. 

Anyway, i will never forget the looks on their faces and the booing that followed when my name was read out and i walked up proudly to collect my trophy and sports vouchers. They were livid.

equinox_code wrote:

IV) When i was young i used to like the taste of sausages dipped in cream

True, but i'm not interested in trying it again. 

equinox_code wrote:

V) I almost knocked my ex girlfriend's sister out by accidentally throwing an apple at her head

This was intended as the lie

equinox_code wrote:

equinox_code wrote:

I) A friend of mine once threw a Skittle across a dual-carriageway and i caught it between two fingers despite being unable to see it in flight

True, and a much better memory than it probably sounds

This is one of the ones I'm sure I remember you telling once before, in a previous iteration of the forum.