Tiger, as I've said before, first draft is handwritten.  I know that's a little old fashioned, but it allows me to whip out my book in brief moments during my physical job and get down a few paragraphs.

My cousin, who has an eight year old daughter, recommended a book by Mackenzie Crook (Gareth from The Office dontcha know), which she is reading with her classmates.  This books word per page count is roughly the same as mine.

I'm at 181 pages.  It would be fair to say this fucker has gotten away from me.  The Good Knight will take at least another 120 pages.  At least.  It's a 300 pager!

Once I'm close to completion I'm going to treat myself to a MacBook Pro.  Once there's a second draft you can have your word count.

JB, when I first wrote the first few pages of Flight of Fancy they were just a folly.  I honestly cannot believe where I am just a few months later.  So you never know.  Good luck!

Chapter 2 is a popular choice.

JonB wrote:

Also, I don't really know what's going to happen after chapter 1.

In my opinion this is the worst possible way to get something you are genuinely interested in writing done.  I spent two years working over what I had in my head before I finally decided to do something about it.  Half the battle is grabbing hold of an idea you genuinely believe in.  Wish you luck, though.

Really wish I had something to share, but I'm very nervous about what I have.  In the back of my mind I think The Land of Nod might be up scrutiny, but then I remember how much of a total coward I am about my writing at the moment.

Raiziel wrote:

JonB wrote:

Also, I don't really know what's going to happen after chapter 1.

In my opinion this is the worst possible way to get something you are genuinely interested in writing done.  I spent two years working over what I had in my head before I finally decided to do something about it.  Half the battle is grabbing hold of an idea you genuinely believe in.  Wish you luck, though.

This is certainly true, but I'm not really planning anything big. Just felt like writing some stuff down.

Well it's done. It took a while as thefinale turned out to be a lot bigger than I expected. And that's a feature of the whole project.

It's almost certainly down to my own inexperience but I'm constantly misjudging the scale of the narrative. The Scarlet Maiden is over twice the size of The Desert Rose, but when I look back at both I don't see the second part as too flabby, I see the first part as being somewhat emaciated.

So I've decided to turn the parts into books in their own right. That gives me the breathing room to expand The Desert Rose during the second draft to resemble the proper Arabian adventure I originally envisioned.

A couple of days break now and then onto The Good Knight. Even popped into the Apple Store at the weekend to look at the MacBook Pros!

So as I mentioned months ago, I've been doing a bit of fiction writing. Mostly just half an hour here and there - nothing solid. But I've 'finished' a first chapter of 5000 words and thought it might be worth sharing it to get some feedback. You can (hopefully) see it here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UtF5Cmk3unvJXzvUfyBo5_W36yevXc0UfVKgTs6ZvJ4/edit

Worth noting, I've never written (or even read) fantasy stuff before, so this may be completely off the mark for the genre. Also, silly made up names - I'm sure I'll put more effort into those if I go any further with this. Anyway, have a look if you get the chance.

Is this better?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UtF5Cmk3unvJXzvUfyBo5_W36yevXc0UfVKgTs6ZvJ4/edit?usp=sharing

Will have a read when I get some time this week, Jon.

I'm still trucking along.  Just passed three hundred pages and I can just about glimpse the end.

Stopharage wrote:

Personally thought there was too much explanation in there, everything is laid on the plate for readers. My meagre appreciation of fantasy is that it's not spelt out that simply, you often have to pick at the detail to gain an understanding. Not saying that's right, but that seems to be the trend. Reads more like a teenlit approach than adult fantasy. On occasion it seemed like the tense was slightly out of kilter. Although I felt it meandered a bit, I thought it also told too much, too soon.

Fair enough. I had wondered whether the chunks of exposition were a good idea, and perhaps I would spread it out more if I actually turned it into something longer. But it's also tied up with establishing the character of the narrator as someone who's not necessarily the best story teller - he has a tendency to meander and start lecturing about broader aspects of history and culture. And he's kind of aware of that but also kind of not. I suppose I imagined he'd get better and more focused at it as it went along. Although it may be me being a bad writer trying to hide behind a bad narrator. I dunno, maybe I should drop the whole meta element and tell a straight story.

JonB wrote:

Is this better? https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UtF5Cmk3unvJXzvUfyBo5_W36yevXc0UfVKgTs6ZvJ4/edit?usp=sharing

I've only had a quick read, so these are some very early cursory thoughts...  (Oh, and a disclaimer.  I seem to be incapable of writing these sorts of things without sounding like I'm being really damning.  I'm not.  I liked it a lot.  Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered at all.)

I agree with Stoph that there's a bit too much in the way of exposition.  I think the problem is that you've set yourself a really difficult task - in that you're trying to tell a story using the voice of someone who isn't necessarily a born story teller.  In many ways I really liked that about it, but it also makes it a harder sell (literally and figuratively) because he's somewhat academic in approach, which has the effect of making the action seem distant and cold - if that makes sense?  It's a problem compounded by already knowing that he's dead, and that he's reviewing the story from a position of detachment.  

That said, the fact that he's already dead was, for me, one of the big hooks. It adds a level of mystery (how did he die?  How is he sending this message, and why doesn't he know who's receiving it? etc).  In fact I'd suggest it might be helpful to make that an opening gambit, along with the latter revelation that it allows him perfect recollection - he sounds like the sort of man who would open by reflecting on the peculiar benefits of being dead.

So, yes, mystery is good.  Which brings me back to the subject of exposition.  It's OK - in fact it's often actively beneficial - to not inform the reader of everything straight away (if at all).  On the other hand, there are some things I probably do need to know - in this case, I guess the one question that I felt really needed answering is - what is the story this scholar is telling me, and more importantly, why?  I felt like I knew an awful lot about the world, but I still wasn't clear on why he felt I should care, other than his assurance that it would ultimately be worth it.

However...  I enjoyed it, and despite me spending the last 3 paragraphs moaning about what is essentially the same point, I thought there was a lot to admire.  You have, unlike a depressingly large number of fantasy writers, clearly actually thought about the world and how it works.  (Terry Pratchett apparently once said it was fine to write about a world with flying pigs, so long as you remember that everyone will need weapons grade umbrellas.  You've clearly thought about the umbrellas.)

Equally, your narrator's got a really clear voice (that isn't simply yours).  I know I've said that his particular personality makes it harder (and it does) but it potentially also makes it a lot more interesting.  I guess the trick is going to be figuring out how to exploit his eccentricities to help you tell your tale.  (Focused enough to push the story forwards, vague enough to keep us wanting to know more.)

So, in short, it's good, but maybe needs a more obvious lure to pull lazy bastards like me into the story.

I haven't read it yet due to work, but I remember you once gave me similar advice about exposition that people are now giving you, and the reasons why my piece needed that advice are the same reasons that you've given there, ha.

(i am gud writr)

OK, thanks for reading. There's clearly a fine line I have to walk here between having a narrator that likes tends to waffle and actually maintaining the reader's interest. I still kind of want to disrupt the regular flow of a story by doing a few things 'wrong', so wouldn't want to lose the chunks of explanation completely, but I will have to integrate them better. Getting to the dialogue quicker is probably important.

I wrote thing, 'lil novella. Been a hectic year. Please feel free to critique.
https://www.inkitt.com/JamesBoylan