The I'm getting old thread of despair and hope. - The Bear and Badger

tin_robot

I shall be 41 fairly imminently.

Pros: My kids are amazing, and whilst there are some signs that the eldest (13) is on the verge of going Full Teenager they remain a seemingly unending source of pride and delight. Nothing in my life previously came even remotely close. Meanwhile I remain baffled and grateful that my wife hasn't yet realised that she's married beneath herself.

I finally understand why my parents were the way they were. I'm suddenly able to forgive every adult that ever pissed me off as a child, whilst simultaneously hoping not to emulate them. (This is particularly relevant and true with respect to my Dad.)

Unless my wife does suddenly realise the horrible mistake she's made, I never have to go through the ridiculous soap opera machinations of dating ever again.

I should have died at 17, and as such each extra year of existence feels like a massive bonus.

I come out with the same ridiculous idealistic nonsense that I did when I was a teenager, but now I'm older and vaguely respected people actually listen.

Cons: I spend half my life feeling completely exhausted. This is partly thanks to work, but equally I am no longer the guy that could stay up from Friday morning until Monday night. This sucks, as I can now think of much better things I could be doing with all that time.

When I was 7 my parents assured me that my all encompassing, crushing fear of death would leave me when I grew up. I'm still waiting.

Whenever I see people in their late teens/early 20s I immediately talk to them as if we're the same age, as that's pretty much where I imagine I am. The look they give me in return never ceases to depress me.

Very little seems terribly original any more.

Kow

I still consider Nirvana to be a fairly recent band. Damn kids.

Matt_82

I'm 34 in two days. I woke up today with a sore shoulder, last week I was genuinely concerned that I might be developing memory problems and I really want/need a holiday but won't be able to get away until late in the summer.

I'll soon be trying to make a living as a freelance photographer in a small market full of freelance photographers. Moving abroad would appear to be one of my only options if I want to avoid shooting weddings and family portraits. Which I wouldn't mind at all but it comes with a lot of hassle and my girlfriend relies on the NHS so options are limited.

Still, if I can make it on my own, I'll be my own boss for the first time in my life which will be a massive bonus.

Not sure what most of that had to do with getting older but I typed it out and I'm too tired to go back and delete it.

RamSteelwood

36 is clearly the cool forum age, at least for a few more months anyway.

Yossarian

Kow wrote:

I still consider Nirvana to be a fairly recent band. Damn kids.

trippy

Your photos are excellent so I'm sure you'll do grand.

edit: not @yoss, that picture's just scary.

Diluted Dante

I've not really felt I'll effects of age yet, though perhaps they are masked by the ill effects of mental health.

davyK

Funkstain wrote:

50 in April. [proper "in my day" rant]

I think it's important to appreciate positive things about the now, as well as lament the passing of time. Could you do that post again, but this time celebrating all the things about life today that are so much better than they were 10, 20, 30 and 40 years ago, please?

Modern times are in fact great. The standard of living we now enjoy is far higher. A lot of "back in my day" nostalgia is based on gallows humour from a bygone time, esp where I live, when things were pretty shit. And things are getting better - recent scientific advances are bringing in new eras of understanding and the Internet/Web is effing ace too. It is one newish thing I couldn't imagine being without. And Kindles are great too.

Opportunity / social mobility - call it what you will is alive and well - if only to amass possessions. My house is 4 times the size of my parents' but that isn't something I'm particularly proud of. In fact it's a bit embarrassing when I think about sometimes. But there's now lots of opportunity for development in more fulfilling directions once you wise up and realise possessions are not a measure of success (apart from a games collection that is).

If I have one criticism of modern times that I will stick by it is the cult of celebrity. It is by no means a modern phenomenon but its continued growth really is a concern. It's associated loosely with a subculture that states trying too hard and being smart isn't something to be celebrated.

Oh...and I stick by my criticism of Mars and Club. A club used to be like a mini Kit Kat Chunky - it now seems to get a 1 micron spray of high sugar % chocolate. But you could of course say that the Kitkat chunky is an admirable replacement.

djchump

davyK wrote:

... If I have one criticism of modern times that I will stick by it is the cult of celebrity. It is by no means a modern phenomenon but its continued growth really is a concern. It's associated loosely with the feeling that trying too hard and being smart isn't something to be celebrated. ....

The anti-intellectualism thing (e.g. taken to an extreme in the anti-vax etc) is an interesting one for me that I put down to the needle swinging too fair the other way now that our government and authority figures aren't seen as kindly patriarchs who are looking out for our best interests. The more modern "fuck The Man" attitude translating into "fuck basically any authority figure, what the hell do they know?!".

The celebrity thing, I have no idea or opinion where that comes from because fuck it, I don't want to think about it, it's just too boring and depressing.

TheDJR

/shudder

Skondo

davyK wrote:

Oh...and I stick by my criticism of Mars and Club. A club used to be like a mini Kit Kat Chunky - it now seems to get a 1 micron spray of high sugar % chocolate. But you could of course say that the Kitkat chunky is an admirable replacement.

...and you can't get dark chocolate Clubs anymore.

Skerret

Small mercies. Don't worry Temps, I finished my undergrad at 29 and phd and glittering career followed, you'll be right.

TheDJR

I miss the less successful Tempy

Kazuo

Tempy wrote:

I always forget you're younger because you've got so much sussed out

My greatest accomplishment will go down as somehow tricking people into believing I had anything sussed at all. Terrifying.

Breaking down being 27 then:

Pros

- Since finishing uni nearly 3 years back I've been lucky enough to be in work and in my chosen field, and am now properly full-time in a great job with a cool company. I think I've nearly kicked the nagging imposter-syndrome feeling that used to keep me up every night.
- I'm so happy to be past shared flats. Living by myself is incredible.
- Settled into a great relationship with a really switched-on person who has her own stuff going on, so no disparity in free-time/earnings/stressful rubbish.
- I feel young enough that knowing I can legitimately do this for another couple of years and still be under 30 makes me feel so relaxed.
- Modern times are fun, and we have the bonus of feeling like the last generation that can even so much as think of enjoying things before it all falls to pieces. Great.

Cons

- Rise of 24 hour communication and smartphones now means you're sort of expected to work at any given time of the day if need be, and people will get snippy if you haven't bothered getting back to an email sent in the middle of the night. Infuriating.
- The way that the bottom has fallen out of media depresses me, not least because I now know people who are having to drift away from it to find work, or who will never get started at all because the opportunities just aren't there.
- Actually just apply that to the job market in general. 190 people went for the job my GF has just been offered, at least 20 of them were people we knew in some capacity. Hell, this time last year she and I were going up against each other for the same jobs. Unsustainable and hugely depressing.
- I seem to have so much less time for things I used to enjoy. Don't write anything anymore, and barely even have the energy or time to play games. I'm falling out of the cultural loop with it as a result, and that's annoying.

tl;dr I'm jealous of Temps because he gets to use free time for fun gaming projects and is developing into the kind of hot shot writer I wanted to be at uni.

Dark Soldier

I'm four days into giving up drink. This is the longest I've gone without it since I was 23. Its insane how much of my life I've pissed away on needless addictions.

Diluted Dante

Does Trials come under that?

Funkstain

Fuck no, Dante

Good work, DS. Permanent thing? Everyone I know who's given up booze tells me it's the best thing they've ever done.

Dark Soldier

Videogame addictions I don't count, that's some good shit right there. At one point, alcohol wise for about six months I was drinking the equivalent of about eight pints a night. Good times.

Dark Soldier

Funkstain wrote:

Fuck no, Dante Good work, DS. Permanent thing? Everyone I know who's given up booze tells me it's the best thing they've ever done.

Permanent as in no drinking when home is the goal. If I go for a meal etc then sure, a few pints. But trying to stay clean and avoid all of it for the next six months. My body and skin is fucked.

95% of my drinking habits consisted of at home on my own, not a good style.

Tempy

Kazuo wrote:

tl;dr I'm jealous of Temps because he gets to use free time for fun gaming projects and is developing into the kind of hot shot writer I wanted to be at uni.

I'm gonna be raking it in, when these 50,000 odd free words i've done get me all dat E.X.P.O.S.U.R.E

Diluted Dante

Just don't try buying a hot dog with it.

Kazuo

Tempy wrote:

Kazuo wrote:

tl;dr I'm jealous of Temps because he gets to use free time for fun gaming projects and is developing into the kind of hot shot writer I wanted to be at uni.

I'm gonna be raking it in, when these 50,000 odd free words i've done get me all dat E.X.P.O.S.U.R.E

It's not all about the money you CAPITALIST

afgavinstan

On yourself DS. Bants aside, I'm right behind ya. You got this breh.

poprock

Phases of ageing, expressed through booze intake:

Not liking the taste of booze.
Stealing the weird liqueurs from parent’s drink cupboard.
Binge-drinking spirits when out in town with schoolmates.
Finally getting the hang of pints (of cider).
Going straightedge for a month at a time because it’s what the cool punk kids do.
Drinking for courage when trying to talk to girls in nightclubs.
Realising cider is sugary adolescent swill and drinking lager with workmates.
Drinking too much lager with workmates too often.
Cutting back.
Learning to appreciate wine at home with your girl (who you now live with).
Realising you’re now drinking WAY too much wine at home because your relationship’s shit.
Back to binge drinking all night in dodgy nightclubs, but now to avoid the missus.
Cutting that shit out (the girl and the wine habit).
Back to after-work pints, but this time it’s real ale and only on Fridays.
Okay, Thursdays and Fridays.
And sometimes Mondays. Mondays are shit. You deserve a pint.
Deciding that you need to sort your health out (mostly your skin).
Cut out drinking at home. Only drink socially.
Still drink too much socially, but you notice the effect. Feeling better.

Eventually, your life is settled. The girl, the home, the job. Your mental balance naturally regulates your booze intake. You go out, but only down two or three pints. You drink wine at home, but don’t even finish the bottle. You get Gin for Christmas and still have some left next November. Life is good.

Dunno what’s next. Guess I’ll find out.

Dark Soldier

afgavinstan wrote:

On yourself DS. Bants aside, I'm right behind ya. You got this breh.

Yossarian

poprock wrote:

Phases of ageing, expressed through booze intake:

Not liking the taste of booze.
Stealing the weird liqueurs from parent’s drink cupboard.
Binge-drinking spirits when out in town with schoolmates.
Finally getting the hang of pints (of cider).
Going straightedge for a month at a time because it’s what the cool punk kids do.
Drinking for courage when trying to talk to girls in nightclubs.
Realising cider is sugary adolescent swill and drinking lager with workmates.
Drinking too much lager with workmates too often.
Cutting back.
Learning to appreciate wine at home with your girl (who you now live with).
Realising you’re now drinking WAY too much wine at home because your relationship’s shit.
Back to binge drinking all night in dodgy nightclubs, but now to avoid the missus.
Cutting that shit out (the girl and the wine habit).
Back to after-work pints, but this time it’s real ale and only on Fridays.
Okay, Thursdays and Fridays.
And sometimes Mondays. Mondays are shit. You deserve a pint.
Deciding that you need to sort your health out (mostly your skin).
Cut out drinking at home. Only drink socially.
Still drink too much socially, but you notice the effect. Feeling better.

Eventually, your life is settled. The girl, the home, the job. Your mental balance naturally regulates your booze intake. You go out, but only down two or three pints. You drink wine at home, but don’t even finish the bottle. You get Gin for Christmas and still have some left next November. Life is good.

Dunno what’s next. Guess I’ll find out.

/thred.

Kow

Discovering gin & tonic.

poprock

The G&T trend will pass, when hipsterism finally does. Then us real gin drinkers can get back to enjoying it without having to find the right fucking brand to take along to parties.

Beefeater and Gordons are good enough for the Ritz and Harry’s Bar. Anything else is fashion.

(Fashionable stuff can still taste good, but it’s not necessary. Brokers, for example. Brokers is nice.)

Diluted Dante

Gin is crap. Tonic water is worse.

Funkstain

If you're gonna mix an expensive artisan drink up with sugary stuff like coke or tonic then you're gonna waste a lot of money

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